Question:

Stepmums and dads a question for you?

by Guest32813  |  earlier

0 LIKES UnLike

How did the child(ren) react to you when you first met them? How long did it take to establish a relationship, and do you still have problems? Do they trust you?

I just want to know as I gave my mums boyfriend a bit of a hard time. I have apologized and we try to get along, but sometimes it can be a bit straining. However we don't have heart to hearts - so what I'd love to know is what it's like from a step parents point of view raising your partners child? Especially if you have never had children before?

Any comments and experiences I would love to hear, I want to try and make more of an effort.

Thank you so much.

 Tags:

   Report

4 ANSWERS


  1. I am a step mum of three children who live with us full time (not just weekends). i was thrown in at the deep end - I was 25 years old and had no experience with children. At the time the kids were 7, 9 and 13 and it was really tough, for me and for them. Gradually, over time it got better and now, 12 years on we all get along fine. the kids (who are now all adults but still living at home) do respect me and I love them. they taught me a lot about myself and have added to the quality of my life. Of course we have our ups and downs (and there were alot of downs with 3 teenage step children) but we've made it through. the hardest part is when my husband feels he is piggy in the middle or when we disagree about our parenting methods. I've had to learn to relax a lot more and not sweat the small stuff. It does take a big effort from BOTH sides and is a relationship like no other, it's not like in films where they all fight then make up and all is perfect. It's not perfect but "real" families aren't perfect either.


  2. I was a step mom for about 5 years I had no kid at the time it was hard and he was hard on me but as time went by it got easy-er and we grow to love each other even I AM  not his step mom no more we are still very close. And I had a step father and mom My step- father I didn't like at first because he took my mom from my dad And I gave him a hard time for it  but that was 20 years ago and now he is like a real dad to me. My step mom a differ story.

  3. I'm not a step parent myself but I do have a step Dad. I gave him a really hard time at first and it wasn't easy for me to get close to him. But now we're really close and I love him, even if it took a bit longer.

  4. Well you sound like your really trying and that's great. I can speak from experience on both ends. As a stepchild it's very hard to have someone else come in especially if you have had your mom to yourself for a long time. I never really got along with my stepmom until high school and that was only for a couple years. Now 17 yrs later we get along ok but I think it's mostly for my dad's benefit. Her family however has never forgiven me for things I said or done as a 10 yr old which is stupid but they aren't the type of family to welcome people in.

    As a stepparent for 3.5 yrs I can say that it really depends on the child and adult as to how long it takes to establish a relationship. With my SD it was immediate. My SS was alot harder. I think we were married nearly 6 months before he really started giving me a chance. It was gradual process. Now, they both love and trust me as a mom. My SD  actually calls me mommy. I think they were both ok meeting me but it was more like a friend. As far as my point of view, it's very difficult to do especially if you don't have kids of your own. I think it's a little harder to get close to them and to be respected by others. He also probably isn't sure how to react to you either. He probably worries about whether you will like him.  

Question Stats

Latest activity: earlier.
This question has 4 answers.

BECOME A GUIDE

Share your knowledge and help people by answering questions.