Stepparenting?why is it so hard for a man to be there strictly for the woman he "loves"?

Question

why is it so hard for a man to stick by you through the rough times of raising kids, life, money, ect.

i am a single mom and have been in 2 serious relationships. when times get tough the men become crybabys and what about me bs. but when things are good, they want all the credit. if it werent for them bs.

i have normal kids. but for some reason i am always having to chose. and of course i chose my kids. i wanna hear from the men. what do you think about dating and getting serious with women who have kids. i am pretty, make my own living, have great kids. i dont need or want a mans money. my kids are not looking for a father figure.

Answer 1

Unfortunately you are now a package deal and many men cannot deal with the package.  It is one thing to have children that start out as cute little babies and another thing to come into an established family with half grown children.

Men who date you realize that it is impossible to be there just for you, the kids are a part of the equation, a big part and they must consider if they pursue a relationship with you.  Unless they are grown and out of the house, and sometimes even then, the children are always going to be part of a relationship with you.  You need to find the man that can step up to that plate.

Answer 2

Maybe it's because of "baggage"? The same goes for the females. I'm sure some females would not want to take care of their step-children financially too. 谈钱伤感情。

Answer 3

Either the guys are afraid of getting between you and your children since they are your kids...its because they did not want to make a mistake and make them not like them...because its hard enough that he is with their mom

and also it could be an ego problem to get all the credit of making the kids feel good or being their "bestfriend"

Answer 4

Well, you give the impression you are not dependent, but I expect you are. Relationships with single mothers are a real pain. They want all the fun and the guy gets all the c**p. End of.

Answer 5

It is hard for some men, in fact,most men to realize they don't come first in a relationship.  Especially if they have not had children of their own.  I speak from experience as I was widowed at the age of 29 and left with 3 small children to raise on my own, ages 2 1/2, 4 and 7.  When I was ready to begin dating, most of the guys were single and had never been married and didn't understand the bond a mother has with her children.  I've told more than one man to 'not let the screen door hit him in the butt on the way out' when he thought I should chose.  They don't understand that there is no choice.  They will lose every single time.  I eventually met a man who was divorced and had two children of his own and he understood about the parent/child bond.  After a couple years we married and blended our families (and it isn't as easy as they made it look on the Brady Bunch either).  We have been married 18 years now and have 18 grand children and the 5 kids that belong to both of us.  There are no steps!  We are just a blended family.  The trick is to find a man who is mature enough to realize that your first priority is your children......not him!  Good luck