Steps to coming out...?

Question

I know every ones story is different. Mine is that I'm a 13 year old girl, i know my parents wont cut me off or stop paying for things... but I'm not sure if they ll care as much about me or if they'll feel weird being around me or be embarrassed by me. My parents mean a lot to me so i don't want to lie or anything but i need a way to tell them that will at least soften the blow. Unless I'm being told you are 13 and available (jk lol) or your giving me advice on coming out PLEASE don't answer. I don't ant any hurtful messages or messages telling me that ill go to h**l if I'm a L*****n because there's nothing i can do about it and I'm going through a hard time and so therefore im already in a vulnerable state. You wouldn't want to make a little 13 year old girl cry would you? So please helpful messages only1

Answer 1

OMG Just don't be g*y

(I have got to get up outta this category. It's like another world in here. I was just here to ask a question about one of my co-workers...but ...whew...I can't even imagine what she is going through if some of here problems are like you all's?)

I am running back to the straight world and fast...

GOOD LUCK TO ALL!!!

Answer 2

I may not be the best to answer, as I'm just coming out now as an adult, but I'll try my best.

First of all, I think it's great that you have the strength,and resolve, to recognize who you are at such a young age.

Secondly, you need to figure out how your parents will react. Are they accepting people? Would they chastise you, and send you away to some "christian" camp? If you're unsure, watch and wait. Chances are they may tell you you're too young to know (I don't believe that, but I know how most people are).

I would choose another "safe" adult to tell first, like a guidance counselor, etc..

Good luck to you!

Answer 3

I know it's hard - I'm 20 and I haven't told mine yet, despite the hunch that they will absolutely not care - I just hate telling my parents awkward things, especially when my mom makes a stupid big deal out of anything.  So you have a better reason than me at any rate.

However, these are your parents we're talking about, not your teenage friends.  They will not be embarrassed or weird around you, at least after you let it sink in.  You're their daughter and they love you more than you realize - it's some weird parental bond thing (and if I'm wrong, I give you permission to kick me).  Even parents who do cut their kids off or react horribly sometimes end up taking them back and assuring their love for their g*y kid, despite their misgivings and teachings that being g*y is horrible/a sin/etc.

It's hard, yes, but if it's important to you to tell them, you'll feel better once you realize your parents are not fickle friends and will do their very best to accept you for who you are.

So, you might want to start by dropping hints.  How, you ask?  You'll know when the time comes.  Mom will make a sly/silly comment about an attractive male or one staring at you from across the pool, which is your cue to say eww/no thanks/not my type at all (if she says, "then what is?" you can say, "not men?" if you're up to it).  Same goes for dad of course.  Then, when you're ready, you can start a segue into the topic - say something about someone who's g*y, or if someone brings it up, you can take that opportunity.  You might say, "Honestly mom, I just don't like guys" or "I'm actually a L*****n.... Soooo...."  Or, if it's your style, "Mom, dad, I'm g*y."  You know your parents and yourself best, so just try to make it flow naturally, in the way you usually talk to them.  You'll feel less awkward and nervous than if you're trying to be formal and serious when you're normally silly and humorous (just an example).  You say you know they won't cut you off or stop paying for things, so I think you don't need to worry so much about "softening the blow."  There isn't really a way to do that - you'll end up g*y however you say it.  But if you drop the hints, it might make it less of a surprise.  Or, if  you think they'll think you're too young to know, there's no harm in waiting.  Good luck!

Answer 4

The answer to your question is contained in your line about being "a little 13 year old girl."  My dear, I don't mean this to belittle you, but you are indeed merely 13 years old -- as such, you should not be contemplating making some big, dramatic coming out announcement at this time.  Since you're "going through a hard time," coming out would only add more drama and possible trauma to your life.

Please, just be a child while you can.  Stop trying to embrace more mature subjects and decisions -- you will have plenty of years to be an adult, my dear.

And though I don't mean this to dissuade you from EVER coming out, I would like to point out that coming out is not something that every homosexual does.  I'm 46 and never made a big dramatic announcement to anyone.  The reason was that being g*y was simply part of how I was born -- an innate part of me -- so I never felt different from anyone else [as in somehow being "less than" them].  Therefore, I would have felt like I was belaboring the subject if I explained it in detail -- indeed, I would have felt like I was rationalizing or even apologizing for a simple random act of nature.  So I was content to just live my life and let others draw their own conclusions.  And to clarify, I am not in the closet -- if someone actually asks me about my sexual orientation, I tell them the truth.  But I certainly never meet someone and say, "Hello, my name's ____ and I'm g*y."  I like my sexuality a lot, but that doesn't mean I feel compelled to tell everyone about it.  Maybe it's because I come from New England parents, but I just don't have that drive to share every iota of my being with everyone I come in contact with.  :-)

But anyway, if you do decide to come out later, just be matter-of-fact about it.  And don't expect your parents to process the information immediately -- parents usually need a bit of time.  Oh, and don't do it at a holiday get-together like Thanksgiving or Christmas -- it's considered kind of rude, as the announcement tends to force the holiday cheer to be replaced with fixation on the announcer.

Answer 5

i don't think anybody is g*y don't do it and not because most people became g**s you have to be g*y too, its confusing world when you find everyone you know become g*y, you dont have to be like them you are confused .