Stereotypes of teen parents...? Please, if you're going to read it, read it all.?

Question

Why is it that most people stereotype teen parents as being stupid and irresponsible or being on welfare no matter what your situation is? I mean sure I agree that some teen parents fit that stereotype...But just because some of them are, shouldn't automatically categorize all teen mothers as being that way...They don't know the lifestyle of all of us...And even though I got pregnant at 16, I don't necessarily agree with teen pregnancy, as in I don't recommend it to anyone. In fact, I volunteer at planned parenthood, we go around and talk to middle schools and high schools about practicing absitence or safe s*x. Even though I am only 19 years old, I KNOW I am a better mother than some moms in their 30's or 40's. Age doesn't define what kind of parent you are. It's your level of maturity and responsibility.

So with that being said...

Answer 1

sooooo...what was your question again?

Answer 2

I'm 16 and I have a 2 month old daughter. I'm very mature and responsible. I didn't have s*x with some random guy I just met an hour ago. I had s*x with my boyfriend of 3 years and we made sure that we were both ready. I'm already married to him (he's 18) and I know that my marriage is wonderful and my husband and I are the best parents we could ever be. I hate when people think that teen mothers don't love their children. Okay, some teen moms are like that but not all. Like me, I love my daughter more than myself and I'll do anything to make her happy because there's nothing that makes a mom happier than seeing her babies happy.

EDIT: we both have great paying jobs. I'm a model and he's a desk clerk at Hilton. He owns a 2 bedroom condo and we have more than enough money. I'm not gonna go back to school but my husband is in college. He wants to be a businessman.

Answer 3

hey times are hard i am 27 and have wic people should not judge anyone on income you can be 32 and have the best job get pregnant and get laid off. **** happens to everyone regardless of age or color. so before you open your mouth to judge anyone take a hard look at yourself and realize will i for sure without a doubt be financially secure 3 years from now. unless you are banking millions noone can say yes for sure

Answer 4

AMEN! I totally agree- people should not be so quick to judge when they know absolutley nothing about the person or their life. I do not agree with the way people judge teen parents, but I do understand why they do it. Children should not raise children- that is a fact of life. But if the child can properly care for their child, then no one has any room to judge.

I actually applaud teen parents for not getting abortions. THANK YOU for cherishing your childs life!

Answer 5

My take on teen pregnancy is as follows:  I am not 100% concerned about emotional maturity, although it is definately important in raising a child...and there are numerous studies out there that prove that although many teens have the body of an adult, they don't have the reasoning of an adult.  I am more concerned about the cost of raising a child.  Many adults can barely afford the costs of  raising a child.  Most teenagers CANNOT get a full-time job that will pay for ALL costs of a child...that includes daycare, diapers, formula (if not breastfeeding), clothing, doctor visits, etc.  Now one could argue that the state will help with the costs through welfare and other programs such as WIC.  But that just proves my point...the average teenager does NOT have the income to financially provide for a child.  It is pretty  plain and simple.  The ones footing the bill are either the teens own parents or the government.

EDIT:  I still have a hard time believing that a teenager can completely pay for everything for their baby.  Unless that teenager is a hollywood star, it is not possible.  My husband makes good money and I stay at home.  We still struggle every so often because of the extra expense of our children...not that I am complaining.  It all adds up.  Just taking them to the doctor for innoculations costs $15.00 a pop.  Insurance each month for our family is well over $400.00 a month (which is cheap as insurance goes).  And don't get me started on the price of diapers (although I use cloth to save money), clothing, etc....so unless I see proof on paper that a teen mother (or father) can  pay for every expense for their child, that is where I stand.

Answer 6

I'm with you 100% i mean i got pregnant at 15 and i had my bby at 16 (3 mnths ago) and i have a partime job working at  a day care and my boyfriend has a stable job making 10$ a hr.... and i hate it when i was pregnant people would say " you cant take care of a child and go to school and everything" "your so stupid for having s3x in the 1st place" "the best thing for you to do is give the baby up for adoption" i would go to my boyfriends house and cry because of the critisim of people and jus them putting me down disscourageing me.......

i mean yeas i did have s*x and got pregnant but i had a good paying JOB i wasnt and still I AM NOT ON WELFARE i am going to go back to school augst 11 and show people that being a teen mother i can get a education and graduate. im not going to be dependent on people to pay my bills for the rest of my life..........  I AM GOING TO SUCCEED CARELESS OF WHAT OTHER PEOPLE  SAY....... and im not going to fall.... my boyfriend is a great father and my family is supportive of me........

and i am being RESPONSIBLE and taking care of MY CHILD............

all you teen mothers out there DONT EVER LET ANY1 PERSUADE YOU IN LETTING YOUR CHILD GO UP FOR ADOPTION OR ABORTION....

and  to the teen girls dont let a guy say " if you love me youll have s*x with me"  ok because he will leave you 1nce you say those 2 words im pregnant.....................

i knew my boyfriend since i was 2 and he was 3 he was my best friend and  he asked me out at 14 we been together (going out) for 3 years and i knew him since like 10 years.......

i would llike to be your friend!!!! because like we both have something in common....

email me at itsyagurltati15 @yahoo.com!!!

Answer 7

I think you are right in a sense. Teen mothers get a horrible reputation. And yea maybe they shouldn't have had s*x so young. But hating on them won't help.

I think its great that you are volunteering. way-ta-break the mold :)

Answer 8

almost wrote a novel there

Answer 9

i agree with and thanks for the advice :)

Answer 10

Amen, you tell them.  I so agree, and have agreed with you since 1977 when I became a teen mother at 15.  That's right, don't put all teenage parents in one basket, many are actually very responsible and it is true with the help of their parents, extended family and friends, teenage parents, (who have been around since there were teenagers and s*x) can make the best of parents in many instances.  So, as I did back in the late 70s and early 80s, I paid no attention to the stereotype that I was suppose to stay home from school, receive welfare, never do anything with my life but have babies and this was told to me by my high school principal, I wish I could see that m**o now, he eventually had to let me back into school and I went on to graduate in the top 15 of my class, with my child on my hip (now).  From there, again, with the help of my parents, I obtained a job, had two more children by the time I was 23, learned a skill, went on to college, got a better paying job and I raised my daughters.  Yeah I look back and remember the stares, the whispering, etc., but you know what, we made it there and by the grace of God, the help of my parents and the determination to want something better for my children and myself, and more the less, to prove the stereotypes wrong.  My daughters are all grown, college degrees, good jobs, etc.  You do you and give the rest your azz to kiss.  God Bless.

Answer 11

You sound like a very responsible and strong woman that has given this lots of thought, kept your act together, and is very responsible for your child.

Kudos to you, you are definitely a good example to break that stereotype.

Answer 12

I agree with you. Getting pregnant at a young age isn't the greatest thing, but people don't have the right to judge the whole group as if they know the stories of all teen parents.  It's probably because the negative actions of people in minority groups usually overshadow the good things the people in that group do. People think that they didn't use protection(which does happen obviously), but in reality there's so many other possibilities. The condom could have broken, the girl's birth control may not have worked right, and God forbid, the girl was raped and doesn't believe in abortion and judging her and saying she was irresponsible or on welfare will make things even worse for her. I don't know why people waste their time hating on teen parents though, when there are parents of all ages who abuse or neglect their kids. THOSE are the type of parents people should be judging.

Answer 13

im 15 and i understand wat ur sayin i dont have a baby but my mom just had one and i understand the diffuculties i see it everday and my moms 34 she had me at 19 and my grandparents ended up adopting and raising me but dont let everyone get u down im sure u dont but from wat uve said it takes alot and its awesome.. just keep on goin and keep doin agreat job for ur baby... shes adorable :)

Answer 14

people are scared of what they don't know.

people think that whatever they do is right and if its not there way then its the wrong way.

Most people assume that teenagers aren't mature, because they only hear stories about teens s******g up, they don't know what everybody like.

people are stubborn, especially adults!

Answer 15

I had my son at 16, moved out into my own apartment, got a job, and made my way through school and received a college degree WITHOUT WELFARE!! I completely agree and couldn't have said it better myself. I had s*x twice and got pregnant on birth control and condoms. I had s*x young which was stupid, but I used as much protection as possible to keep myself safe from pregnancy. It happened, I dealt with it and my son and I have wonderful lifes now together. He will be 7 in September and he now has a 2 year old brother and a wonderful father. Who could ask for more??

Answer 16

i agree, young people should wait, i was pregnant at 17 i dont reget having my baby but i wishedi had waited, once you hav a baby its not bout u anymore

Answer 17

I've met a teenage mom on here that was on welfare. I wouldn't tease or make fun of a teenage parent. But unless they where raped I would think they where irresponsible. Otherwise they wouldn't have a kid yet. Now the kids gonna have a difficult life that it did nothing to deserve. I say if a teenager get's pregnant and doesn't want an abortion then they should give it up for adoption. But wait there are tons of kids in foster care right now. So don't get knocked up. The poor baby's life is scrxwxd before it begins. And the grandparents are stuck paying for everything so that the teenage mom can pat herself on the back and think she did the right thing.

Edit:Hey bethy depending on your parents is nothing to boast about. If you can pop them out you can raise them. Now for the record. I don't believe in kicking teen moms when they are down. But I don't believe in congratulating them when it shouldn't have happened in the first place.

Answer 18

I too had my baby at 16... and now i'm 19. I love your statements!

I try to make my life the best it can be for myself and my son. I think we are doing quite well... I'm in college to be a nurse and still with the father. I honestly don't think my son could have a better Mom.

Answer 19

FYI, teenage parents are irresponsible. Should've used protection, or better yet, not have involved yourself in adult things that you have no business whatsoever doing!

Bring on the thumbs downs! Report me if you want, I'm glad to have finally said what I've been holding in for a while.

Answer 20

I think your question is, why we stereotype, right? First off, I was a little offended when you made the comment that some teenage parents are better than 30 or 40 year old parents....because I am one of them, so I felt like you were stereotyping me as well...I think the biggest fear would be seeing one of our teenagers becoming parents, that's why it's looked down upon, teenagers haven't stopped having s*x...although us parents, will keep trying to raise them with enouph common sense, responsibilty, and morals....perhaps if you're feeling like people are stereotyping you is because, perhaps they see you as a young mother who may not have been able to live her life a little, before she had to take on this HUGE responsibility of raising a good child...and feel bad for you??? I don't know??  keep doing what you're doing, sounds like you have your head on straight!!

Answer 21

I definitely agree.

Even if I don't approve (at all) of s*x before marriage, teen parents should certainly not be brutalized by stereotypes.

Answer 22

some of the teens dont want to get pregnant and end up being pregnant by an accident. what i dont undestand is some teens just have s*x without any protection and then are complaining that they got pregnant. well of course you are going to get pregnant without any protection.

Answer 23

Because 90% of them are.  Do you have a job besides volunteering?