Sticky Situation?

Question

Someone else's question made me think of this...thanks!

My parents have contributed most of the money for our wedding (I know, I'm very lucky) and I would like to thank them publicly at our dinner the night before the wedding. However, my fiance's parents did not contribute and I don't want my public recognition to hurt their feelings. Don't get me wrong, this is my fiance's second marriage and we did not expect or want them to contribute. But I don't want to hurt their feelings or make it awkward for them. I do want to thank and recognize my parents though. How do you guys think I should go about this?

Answer 1

I was in the same situation.  My fiance's mom was not hurt in the least.  She is very  understanding and was happy for her son and myself.  If you don't feel comfortable saying Thank You to your parents infront of everybody, on your wedding day or when you get back from your honeymoon take them to dinner and give them a gift with a nice personal note.

Answer 2

Maybe make 2 toasts. One to your parents thanking them for their generous contribution to your special day and Another one to your future in-laws thanking them for their support and let them know how happy you are to be part of thier family. That way nobody is left out.

Answer 3

You can make an announcement at dinner as to how much you appreciate the beautiful wedding that your parents gave you. (it's usually the bride's parents that host the wedding anyway) Then you could thank your fiances parents for giving you this wonderful man in your life and that's why you are here today...something like that

Then both sets of parents would be recognized genuinely

Answer 4

I understand what you are saying but I think this may be one of those situations if you want to recognize your parents for this you should do so. I think your parents deserve that for what they are doing for you.

You can also include your soon to be in laws in a speech recognizing them for who they are and just for them. Being warm, loving, accepting, ect...Your fiances parents may not have contributed financially but I am sure there are a number of things that they have done to contribute to yours and your fiances life together so far. :)

Answer 5

A nice thing to do if you want to do a public acknowledgement is too thank both sets of parents for being warm, supportive, loving, etc- no mention of money.  Then, you and your husband can give a heartfelt card to your parents after the wedding, expressing your appreciation for the financial support.  This way no one gets their feelings hurt and your parents still get the extra special attention.

Answer 6

thanking your parents in no way demeans or disrespects the inlaws.

Answer 7

Traditionally,. the bride's parent host the wedding, so it wouldn't be awkward to thank them for their contribution.

One question though? At the rehearsal dinner, are his parents paying?

If they are paying for the RD, then you should honor them as well.

If not, well, it's understandable because they already done it once before, but I woudl tahank them for their support, love etc.

One thing, do give both sets of parents an appreciatiion present. It could be something small, a personal memento perhaps.

Good luck

Answer 8

I think your gesture is an amazing one. and you are right not to want to make the soon to be in laws uncomfy. I would say at the rehersal dinner the bride and groom usually give gifts to the part members give a simple gift to all or both sets of parents, and then slip in a note with your parents gift  that says how greatful you are to them because they helped make your wedding dreams come true. that way to acknowledge them but it is done privately and with the up most respect for all parties involved.