Stigs being bred in the Stig farm – who will be the next stig?
The mysterious persona of the Stig on the most famous tv show on the face of this planet adds a certain charm to Top Gear. Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May might have been cruel to the Stig which partly explains his decision to reveal his identity,
however even the general public associated with the ‘alien’ Stig more than a certain Ben Collins. Therefore, at this particular moment in time, they have absolutely no sympathies for the racing driver who decided to reveal his identity to the world.
On the contrary, what excites them more is the million dollar question. Who will be the next Stig? BBC however has had no qualms in firing Ben Collins for they have admitted that they maintain an entire Stig farm, where racing drivers from mars are bred
and taken care of. Of course this is top secret information and was not supposed to be revealed to anyone however, Bettor.com has finally dug up the secrets of the secret facility, where Stigs are cloned bred and manufactured.
Some of them have certain abnormalities as well, since the cloning process is not completely hazard free and on other occasions the three evil step sisters of the Stig play around with the machines to give him different personalities. Which is why, there
is one particular clone that they say is a Chuck Norris, Elvis Presley hybrid with J-Lo’s bum. They also boast a Mr Bean Stig, who has the face of Rowan Atkinson however the body of a horse. Therefore, he is considered to be unfit to drive, however he is being
sent to a special facility for clones gone bad.
Jeremy Clarkson the other day was very excited when he made a surprise visit with some BBC co workers to the Stig farm to inspect the carefully bred racing car drivers. A source within the show when contacted by Bettor.com admitted that “Fans don’t know
there is a secret farm where we breed lots of different Stigs. We’ve found just the one.”
Interestingly enough the Stigs come in different colours however they are not for sale. There have been occasions where a number of fake Stigs have tried to sell themselves on E-bay however this specially reared specie is extremely hard to find and maintain.
Some say that they are fed caviar and truffle soup for breakfast. They also suffer from the sleep panic disorder and do not have eyelids.
In the Stig farm, our special correspondent caught glimpses of a red Stig, a yellow Stig, a green Stig, a blue Stig and interestingly enough a bright pink Stig as well. The latest crop of this specie was inspected by the 50 year old Clarkson, the 47 year
old May and the 40 year old Richard Hammond.
The first Stig who later revealed his identity wore black and the second one was completely white. TV producers are not sure which one they particularly want and whether they should conduct a poll amongst its fans on the probable colour of the next Stig.
While the identity of the next Stig will be a closely guarded secret, we do know that when he passes gas, he creates crop circles in the fields and this has created many problems for those who are rearing Stigs in the Stig farm. His tears possess a certain
adhesive quality that can be used as a substitute for glue and that he once punched a horse into the ground. Some say, he watched American Pie sixty two times and on the sixty third time, he turned into a pie. Others claim that he inherently faces the magnetic
north and that his legs are hydraulic, for all we know, he is called the Stig.
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