Still friends or not... 10 points for best answer!?

Question

I had a friend who was sorta jealous of me so we didn't really get along. Keep in mind that we've been friends like kindergarten. She was my first friend in K. However, the year after, she had some problems and i was there for her. We became bffs. We were close but later on, we started to drift apart since she was moving. She said and wrote things that hurt me. I admit that i had messed up but i apologized and tried to understand what was going on and why she was mad. She started ignoring me, being rude, and well, let's just say that at a time, i hated coming to school becuz of her. Don't get me wrong, she isn't a jerk. She was a great bff and we were really close. Later on, she apologized and i forgave her. It was hard because i didn't really trust her and i told her this but she didn't seem to care. But i hung in there and we became like friends again. It seemed like we were going to be bffs again but i didn't want that to happen because i didn't really trust her. Now, she's moved back about 6 months ago. When we were talking, the conversion was strained. She didn't seem like herself but she was a lot more open w/ other friends. Is it because she feels left out? I've left messages and emailed her but i haven't heard back from her. Basically, i miss her and i want things to be okay between us.

Answer 1

sounds like the 2 of u have grown apart.

however, if u want to be friends again

agree on a deep talk where u put everything on the table

each of u explain how u really feel about one another

tell what u really hate, dislike, what bothers u about one another.

tell what u really love, like, etc.

explain why u want to be friends and best friends

put it out there. clear the air.

this way there will be nothing smoldering and simmering to backfire

in the future.

if it works and u want to be best friends then u have the foundation.

if not, u can be close friends.

if nothing works, then u can say that u tried ..

then u move on.

Answer 2

I know you don't want to lose her as a friend but sometimes people just grow apart and you can't make them be friends with you.  If you've tried to reconnect when she came back but she hasn't contaced you back then just know you've done your best at trying to stay friends with her.

Know too that it wasn't all your fault and you can only do so much to try and make things work.  Give it a few days and then try to call her again.  If you push too hard all at once, she may back away and feel threatened for whatever reason.  

After you give it some time, try e-mailing her and just say something like.  Hey, I hope you are doing well and I miss our talks.  Let me know how you are doing cause I still think about you and that you are still my friend.  Best wishes and hope to hear from you soon.

Good luck to you and I hope you hear from her.

Answer 3

I think the best approach would be to sit this girl down and give her a long talking to. Tell her how you miss her and how she seems really distant. Explain to her that it hurts you feelings, makes you unsure about yourself. Maybe try and get some answers out of her. You never know, things could be going on behind the scenes, say for instant troubles at home that she doesn't like to talk about. See the thing is, because you know her best she may not like to talk to you because you can tell when something is wrong. However she may be totally belittling about it and tell you not to worry things are fine. In this situation I suggest you back off a little and give her some space as it could be best for both of you. In know this is probably way hard since you guys were very close, but if shes not ready to open up to you then you need to reconsider the value of your friendship.

Answer 4

the best thing you can do is to say to her what you just said to the world "i miss her and i want things to be okay between us" if she is a true friend then she will respect your honesty and though it may be slow forming your friendship will rebuild. perseverance.

Answer 5

you are totally pouring your heart out on this question, everythign that you have just said, .. tell it to her . in person, not on IM or emails, and maybe she thinks your being pushy, it soudns like you guys are still friends, but just not as close anymore. i have the same problem, just try and learn to trust her again, and maybe she'll be more open to you .dotn tell her things like .. "i dont trust you, anymore" xuz that will just push them farther away, and create more problems . if you want to be best friends like you were before, then just completely trust her again . and tell her that you want to be the way you use to, tell her that in order for that to happen, you both have to trust eachother . and remind her that even when theres rough patches, they always will lead to good ones . thru thick and thin, right ?

hope this helps, and good luck

Answer 6

Jesus, Jesus move on buddy the girl is not interested anymore although she like messing with your head. Find something out to occupy your self.

Reality is that this will never happen.