Story help, needed BADLY!?

Question

Next day, I went out for a run. I started slow then fastened my pace. Listening to Eminem, while running was very helpful. As I was on my 3rd lap, I screamed a too loudly when a guy, my age came walking out of the bushes.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.” The guy said with a smile.

“No, no, it’s okay.” I smiled back, while I got up.

“So, you just moved in here?” He asked.

“Yes. I’m still settling in.” I replied, and then there was awkward silence.

I looked at the guy; he was really handsome. My face burned of embarrassment, so I looked down.

“You do realise, we don’t know each others names?” He laughed at the thought of this.

“I’m Elaine.”

“I’m William.”

how can you make it more interesting

and how to cut down on using I's?

Answer 1

this sounds like meg cabots avalon high

Answer 2

This is me having a bit of a go, sorry if you dont like it!!!

The next morning i decided to go on a run down my new street. Listening to eminem a bit too loud, i decided to quicken my pace. As i went round the corner, still obliviously unaware of everything around me, i ran straight into someone.

"Oh! I'm so sorry! I-I..." I couldn't look him in the eyes.

"No, it's ok i should of been looking..." His voice trailed off as he examined me. His voice was silky smooth, I looked up to see his face and flushed feiorcely as i saw how handsome he was. He looked straight into my eyes, not breaking contact for a second.

"So your the new girl here then?" He said with a smile that seemed to melt me to peices.

"Yeah," I said quietly

Then there was an awkward silence.

"Well bye then," I said turning quickly.

HE grabbed my arm.

"Wait, I don't know your name!" He said

"Oh...I'm Elaine,"

He smiled again, flashing his brilliant white teeth.

"I'm William,"

Answer 3

You're being too self-critical. Don't worry about it. Relax. Breath.