Strayed from god. advice please?

Question

I just recently have started going to church now. Its been a couple months and I have been saved. I feel horrible inside tho because of a relationship i have with a girl. It is a same s*x relationship. I fell in love and i'm feeling guilty and i have strayed. I told her how i feel and that i do not want to continue a relationship in that way but i still would love to be her friend. she is a good person. I'm not sure what to do. She says she cannot continue to be around me unless there are other people. I will be moving in a month and i don't want to regret not spending any time with her. I'm very torn she says she wants me to be with her still for her own selfish reasons. i know what i should do is distance myself but its so hard. She is a very fun nice loving person. we both are christians except she doesn't understand why God could hate two people who love eachother..in this case, two women. please help i know i need to pray. i'd like to read some encouraging messages. thank you

Answer 1

IMO God is Love and if you express that Love without deception you are not straying from god by Loving you are expressing Gods Love for one another.  So...  Come to terms with your orientation here, these sites might help with some of your internal conflicts.

Also take not that Jesus knew a g*y guy and had no problem with it!  It's in the first link I think...  

Answer 2

God does not hate either of you... but yes, He does hate homosexual acts. My initial advice to you would be to distance yourself until you are strong enough to be around her and exercise self-control... then a true friendship can come.

It speaks magnitudes that you are battling with your feelings, because it shows you are wanting to do God's will. Our feelings will definitely lead us astray. Read 1 Corinthians 13 about God's love for us, and concentrate on your relationship with Him. In doing that, we have all we need in Him to battle the trials that are waiting on every side.

And prayer is great... keep it simple. Ask God to forgive you because you do not want to be separated from Him because of sin. Ask Him to forgive your friend and touch her heart so that she knows He has nothing but love for her. Ask Him to strengthen you in that area so that you can move forward. And thank Him. I am praying for you right now and hope you can find the strength to stop. God bless you!

Answer 3

It's going to happen, again.  Please don't feel guilty - it's the way you are.  You can't run away from yourself.  The sooner you accept it, the happier you will be.

.

Answer 4

Don't feel horrible.. You like everyone else on earth, are a sinner. Ask for forgiveness... Don't commit the same sin. If you have asked Jesus into your life, asked for forgiveness of your sins, been baptized, you only have to ask his forgiveness, and turn your back on your sins. No need to feel bad, just go on and don't do it again.

Answer 5

Would your life be THAT bad if you didn't believe in God?

Just try it for a while, you won't get all hedonistic or lose your values.

At the same time, you won't feel pressures that you do now.

Answer 6

God doesn't hate you or her. But, you, like she, have to make a choice about who is more important in your life, this girl or God.

Temptations happen in our lives. Temptations aren't sinful. It's choosing that temptation over God's own will that is a sin. However, if you stand fast to your beliefs, and weather this storm, you will be that much stronger, that much more able to withstand temptation in the future, and you will know that you chose God's path, when another path was easier.

Answer 7

I would advise an alcoholic to stay out of the bar and I advise you to stay away from her. Joseph fled from Potiphar's wife (somewhere in Genesis).  I'll pray for you.  

Answer 8

I agree with her.  Why would God begrudge us love?  Why would God give us the ability and desire to love one another, and then say that it's only ok if it's a person of the opposite s*x?  If God makes us all, why would he make some of us attracted to the same s*x if it was wrong?  Here's the make-or-break question for me - do you feel like your attraction for women is genuine?  Does it feel natural?  Or does it feel like a choice?  From what you've said already I know that if you could "choose" to like men you would - it would be easier and it would line up with what you think you're supposed to believe.  The fact that you still love a women shows that you don't have any choice in it at all and trying to tell yourself that you do is just torturing yourself.

My thoughts: If God is all-powerful and commands us to love, I don't think he's up there condemning us for who we love.  He's just glad we're loving instead of hating and trying our best to be good to each other and make this world a better, more loving place to live.  God wants us to be happy, not to make ourselves miserable judging ourselves for not loving the "right" people.

Answer 9

Jesus never rejected homosexuality, that was part of the old covenant, do you follow the other strictures that are forbidden, like say, no masturbation, no unclean animals/seafood (shrimp/pork), smashing your children's head into the stones to be happy?  Of course you don't because they're absurd.  Paul had plenty to say about a lot of things *Jesus never talked about* and some of it has been accepted as canon by *some* churches.  It's your choice to go by the teachings of Jesus or the bigotry of Paul.

Answer 10

See what going back to church does =[

As for a more serious answer, if you god is truly loving, he'll see the wisdom behind following love itself.

Answer 11

She's right.  Why would anyone, including god, hate two people who love each other.

You need to think this out yourself, and do what is right.

Answer 12

Get a new church.  Do you feel in your heart that you have strayed from God or is it because someone says you are straying from God.  I suggest you find some place peaceful and quite where you can be alone with God and have a long talk and ask that the Holy Spirit rest on your heart on tell you what to do.  Jesus loved the worst of the worst and Jesus is love.  If the two of you respect each other and are true to each other and love each other why would it be necessary to give up the relationship.  I'm not g*y and have no desire to be g*y, but I also know we shouldn't judge each other and I have no right to impose my will on anyone else.  I do have a moral obligation to treat others as I want to be treated.  What commandment does homosexuality violate.  Yes, it's called an abomination, and we have learned about Sodom and Gomorrah and we have AIDS . . .

Answer 13

your torn with the past.you have a flesh side and spiritual side as the book of romans says.and they are at war inside of you.so does the flesh rule you or the holy spirit rule you.you must repent. this means turn away from.on your own you lost already. you need the lord for strength to carry on.

Answer 14

One word

Pray

Also...God does NOT hate people who are g*y!

Answer 15

Well, I say that you distance yourself for a period of time, and only when you feel strong enough to resist temptation, than visit with her. Someone else suggested to join a denomination which accepts same-s*x relationships, but honestly if you feel wrong doing it, something wrong is going on.

Answer 16

i know how it feels to have to give up certain things because of your love for the Lord. i've never been in a same s*x relationship but i realize that it's goin to be hard to give up something. you know, God is not against having friends and everything unless it comes between you and His relationship. i'm not trying to be harsh or anything but you have to realize that the Bible does condemn that kind of thing. but that does not mean that God loves you any less. my advice would be to get into a good church and make some good godly friends. now don't forsake your old ones but don't let them take you down to their level. stay at God's level.

Answer 17

You're an idiot.

Letting religion dictate to you who you may or may not love? Idiocy.

My advice would be to get your head screwed on straight. How can you believe in a religion that tells you that you were born a sinner? Hypocrisy, idiocy, and bigotry.

Atheistically yours,

JM Gendron.

Answer 18

There ARE Christian denominations that accept same-s*x relationships, even same-s*x marriages. Why not check into some more liberal Christian denominations? I know that the United Church of Canada (of Christ, in the USA) is very open and accepting and ordains g*y clergy. Perhaps go somewhere where you are accepted. Jesus didn't have anything to say about homosexuality, and a lot of Christian religions and people don't teach that this lifestyle is wrong.

Answer 19

You need to stray a little bit more, honey.  I understand that the guilt you have developed from your lifelong indoctrination into this religion is causing you to feel like you have committed some serious emotional crime.  But I'd really love for you to stop for just a moment and envision a different point of view.  

I'm not asking you to be an atheist.  You might want to just consider whether your girlfriend is right:  Would a loving and all-knowing God create you to, knowing you'd fall in love and have an amazing, supportive, beautiful relationship, just so he could have an excuse to hate you and condemn you?  Perhaps the people who've interpreted two lines in the Bible about homosexuality interpreted it wrong, and you've been taught an incorrect dogma about homosexuality all along.

I think you need to go with your gut on this one.  If you believe in a loving and forgiving God, will it matter to him more who you are sexually attracted to--or even who you actually have s*x with--or that you lived your life as a good person, helping others, being kind to your partner and your friends and family, and trying your best to improve the world?  Which do you think is truly more important to a loving and forgiving--and ALL-KNOWING--God?

Answer 20

You have answered you own question in a way. You said " I feel horrible inside " Doing the right thing shouldn't feel like that. Your conscience talking to you is nice and loud when you are a young Christian but if you ignore it it dims and becomes faint and then eventually there is nothing - not that God gives up but that you become desensitized to His voice.

Your faith is about becoming friends with God - it is likely God has something great for you but you can't move into it when you are tied to something else... sometimes people give up something great for something they think is good and don't even know it.

You even know what to do - "i know what i should do is distance myself but its so hard". Nothing good in life is easy. Hope it all works out for you...