Stress and problems with the in-laws?

Question

I'm having a lot of problem's with my in law's. My daughter just turned 3 months. When she was born her foot had been against my belly and she had grown out of room so her foot had turned towards her ankle. Two different doctors had visited and said that it'd be fine cause her bones weren't hard yet. My in-laws kept saying she'd never walk and she was crippled. They even brought there friends up there the next day ripped off her socks and was looking at it and saying how awful it was. It's really turned around since i've had her now that she's older but everytime they come to visit they call her the "Little crippled" and pull her socks and shoes off. Its so frusterating even when i tell them the doctors told us it was fine. They did it this weekend and it wasn't even to the right foot!! I seriously feel as tho i may spotanously combust at any moment when i'm around them and them picking at her. What can i do??!?! My husband say's im just overprotective and they don't mean anything by it. They always come and visit and then tell us they've been sick the night before i hate it. I don't know what to do??! Any ideas?! I've thought about posting a blog on my myspace sine they all seem to read my page daily. Any suggestions?!

Answer 1

that is horrible... just confront them!!! and make them stop right away. ask your husband to talk to them, just so you don't mess your relation with them. keep telling them repeatedly that the doctors said its going to be fine, and its something serious.. and they should take it seriuosly, rather than jopkin around about it. Ask for your husbands support, and explain to him that it hurts you, and its rude of them to take her socks and shoes off ..and laugh about it..  If you don't do it now, they are gonna continue doing it till shes old enough to understand them. you really don't want the baby to go through it when shes older.. ASK THEM TO QUIT!

Answer 2

Yea the blog is a good idea. Unless you think they are the types to get mad and say "why didn't you just tell us". Or you can just tell them that it upsets you when they say things like that. To be honest with you I think your husband should tell them how much it upsets you. If they are his parents and you are his wife. He needs to stick up for you. Even if he thinks your over reacting. They are your feelings and he should respect that. He could thell then "hey I think she is over reacting but my wife really gets upset when you ..........." that way they at least know.  

Answer 3

Honestly talk to your in-law about the adverse effect of teasing the kid like this. Mention that your daughter is born with this and is no one's fault, I think they try to find someone to blame on but it is not good to the kid when she grows up and it will affect her self-confident. You should do something now to prevent any damages may make to your daughter in the future. You don't want your daughter to grow up and feel being rejected by her own grandparents. It will be great if your husband realize and stand on your side.

Answer 4

The very best thing to do is address it with them directly. Preferably in front of your husband. A simple, ***** and ***** I would really appreciate it if you didn't always emphasis the babies foot, it is hurtful and really bothers me. I know we all love the baby and want whats best for her.

This is a difficult conversation to have but it will make life a lot easier. Don't go behind anyones back or keep it inside, just be honest---it truly is the best policy. Once you do this the next time something comes up it will be much easier to address. They will always be your daughters grandparents so do it now, rather than grow more and more frustrated with them. Good Luck!

PS You are not overprotective and have every right to be offended.

Answer 5

OMG, I am disgusted...for this to be coming from family, it stinks...I think you should come out and tell them straight up. Whenever they make a joke or call her "little crippled" you nipp it in the butt right then and there. this is nasty, they should be the ones telling people not to do what they are doing!!! I am truly pissed!!! You tell them it hurts you and could possibly hurt the child also in the long run. and for your husband to be saying that you are overprotective, you should be!!! that is your daughter and his also, you should tell him to back you up and cut the c**p!!! its either that or they dont come to YOUR house anymore.

Answer 6

You have to put your foot down on this - talk to your husband, make sure he'll back you up on this as he must and confront your in laws when they do it again, telling them in a calm and collected voice (away from your daughter) that you will not have them do this ever again. Repeat to them that the doctors have said more than once that this will be fine, there is no reason to dwell on it or give the little girl a complex about it and they should just stop. Again, make sure your husband is in on this. Good luck.