Strong-willed 3 yo and potty training.?

Question

We've tried potty training in the past and i decided he wasn't ready. He just turned 3 last week and i'm trying to slowly initiate it again but NOTHING works. I've had books and dvds. I've tried underwear to let him feel what its like and he doesn't care that he's messy. I've tried reverse psychology, rewards, bribes: he even has a potty chart and gets a balloon and a sticker on his chart every time he potties- he pottied twice with this method and then refused from then on out!!

He knows when he has to go! He loves to sit on the potty and "play" when he DOESN'T have to go- but the minute he KNOWS he needs to go- he gets down and asks for a pull-up.. if i refuse a pull up he pees in the floor instead of in the potty!!

Anyone have anything i haven't tried. He's definitely ready- he's just stubborn.

Answer 1

ok...what i'm going to suggest isn't so much of a punishment, but a consequence for action.  If he makes a mess (on the floor or in his pants) he needs to clean it up.  Make him be the one to clean the floor and rinse out his pants and clean himself up (under your supervision of course).  Soon, he will realize it is easier to use the potty than to be strong willed.

Good luck!

Answer 2

One thing I would try is make it a game. Get some Cheerios or Fruit Loops and throw a few in the potty. Then make it a game to see if he can hit the targets with his pee. LOL. It sounds kinda weird I know, but if you make it a game he may be more interested in trying it. Get all excited and tell him you learned a new game and you want him to try it. Potty training is just as stressful for us as it is for them. So make it fun and don't let him see you get frustrated, cause that will make him feel like that too or that he can't do it. Good luck, I wish you the best.

Answer 3

If your child asks for a diaper when they have to have a bowel movement, praise them for recognizing their body’s signal, and telling you.  Suggest that they go into the bathroom to p**p in their diaper.  Gradually work toward pooping in the toilet.

Do not remind your child too much or express disappointment with set-backs.  This is a kind of pressure, and pressure sets up resistance.  

Let your child get used to the potty seat without any other expectations.  Allow your child to sit on the seat fully clothed, perhaps looking at a book or playing with a small toy.  Let your child see parents and older siblings using the toilet.

Learn your child’s behavioral cues that signal they are about to go (for example, grimacing or stopping activity, often after mealtimes). Talk about the feeling of having to go, and encourage your child to notice it and tell you when they have that feeling.  Praise your child for recognizing and sharing this information with you.

Once your child is comfortable with the potty and maybe even showing interest in using it, have your child sit on the potty right after you take off a wet or poopy diaper.  Put the used diaper in the potty to show them what the potty is for.  This step may last a few days to a week.  

Next, lead the child to the potty 1-3 times per day, take off their diaper and encourage them to sit.  After meals tends to be a "high-yield" time for sitting.  A few minutes should be enough.  Your child can look at books or play with a small toy while they sit.  

Praise, praise, praise for cooperation with sitting, even if they don’t go.  

Do not force your child to sit if they resist.  This can lead to opposition, which may set back the whole training process.

Gradually increase the number of sitting times.  Guide sitting times towards a routine, such as in the morning, after meals and before bedtime.

After repeated success, graduating to training pants or underwear is a big incentive for children to keep on using the potty.

Answer 4

Try time outs when he doesn't do as he should.

Answer 5

Just don't make a big deal about it and certainly don't put him in time out when he doesn't use the potty.  That's about the worst thing you can do.  If he really is ready, then there must be some reason why he won't use the potty.  Have you taken him to see his pediatrician?  That would be the first thing I would do.  Is he afraid to use the potty for some reason?  A lot of kids are afraid of flushing toilets.  Just be patient with him and supportive and let him learn at his own pace.  Assuming he doesn't have any developmental problems (again, see your pediatrician), he'll definitely start using the potty by the time he's ready to go to school (he won't want to embarrass himself in front of his friends if he has any control over it).  But all kids learn to be potty trained at their own pace, and some (especially boys for some reason) take longer than others.  What you are describing is not at all abnormal, as long as you have seen your doctor and made sure that everything is okay.

Answer 6

Sounds like to me the only thing you haven't done is actul discipline. If positive reinforcement through rewards doesn't work, try taking benefits from him.