Struggeling, 16, a bit depressed ..

Question

ive always had an unstable home life. my dad had an affair when i was young and weve alway had issues with money, bayliffs. not always affording food etc. but ive always been close to my mum and brother they are my rocks. however my mum has quite severe depression and my brother has moved out

and today i found out just how bad my dad really is (although maybe hes changed?) when i was about 5 he pretended he was going to commit suicide and left suicide notes and a will. today i read that note. im not sure if you know what if feels like to read a note of that kind. especialy if the person was faking it and using it to blackmail(although this was years ago that it was written, i still feel upset by it which i know i shouldnt but i really do). i have always known that he constantly treatened to takeme from her and claim she was an unfit mother

and he has told me that if i like my mum boyfriend that he would never see me again when iwas younger

and this has all stuck with me and i have grown up very insecure and scared to let anyone get close to me.

im dont think im coping with this very well, and i know i need to be becuase when im not happy my mum is even worse

so can anyone give me any advice on how to pull myself together (as i know i should not be upset over this as so many other people have to cope with much worse) or how to deal with it?

x x

Answer 1

You are a Child of God and deserve to have a good life.  You did not say if you are in school, but if you are, I would encourage you to talk with your guidance counselor and ask him/her to help you find a mentor, a big brother/sister, support group or social worker to help you.  If you are not in school, there are still sources for support (like social services, churches, etc.).  You have been through a lot but you have an excellent attitude.  You know that some others have had to cope with worse, but that doesn't mean your problems are less important.  

I sincerely hope you are able to find help.   Keep trying.  Don't let anybody tell you that you can't do anything you want to do (I'm talking about school, learning, finding a career, and so forth).  Stay away from drugs and people that abuse them.  Pay attention to your physical health as well as your mental health. Limit fast food and munchie type foods. Try very hard to avoid serious sexual relationships.  Never, never, never let yourself be used.  Read good books. Don't take popular culture seriously  (celebrities, movies, fashion and such).  Meditate. Volunteer.  Service to others is one of the best forms of psychological therapy there is.

Peace  

Answer 2

you can start by going to your doctors and asking for a referral to a counsellor who you can talk to about this and maybe see if your depressed

Answer 3

You need to talk to someone face to face and not take advice from the internet. If you are a Christian, go to your nearest church and ask to speak to the Priest or Minister. He or she will listen to your problem and then advise you on the next step forward. You will receive all the help and support available.

Answer 4

see a doctor about this hun, this isn't healthy, just let it all out to someone who can really help and im sure youll feel alot better and be able to handle the situation better, good luck with your troubles x

Answer 5

Go to the doctors and they may be able to recommend you to a specialist that you can talk to and your dad shouldn't be treating you in a way that upsets you, it's not your fault just remember that.  

Answer 6

my woman was in that sam predicament and she got her mom some antidepressants and i beat the living fu*k out of her dad for her so he would leave now if your man has balls enough he'll beat ur dad to a bloody pulp

but you just need a few years of life with ur mom and a new step dad that treats her rite but hay that's just an opinion from somebody who has bin watching a lil to much Dr. Phil lol

XD

oh well i think you need a hug

*gives a hug*  ok now

1. get mom on some depressants

2. have ur Bf kick ur dad's @$$

3. see if u cant get ur mom dating again

hope it helps

^_^

Answer 7

I am not surprised that you feel this way.  Firstly being 16 is not easy there are so many things that you have to learn to cope with, and it does not help that your parents are unable to support you.  However, up until now you have managed to stay strong, but in so doing you have kept all your feelings bottled up and they are bound to overwhelm you.

Your Dad has been a man who is crying out for help and your mum has had to cope with all of this so no surprises that she is now fighting with depression.

You all need counselling, and you start with your G.P.  Make an appointment for yourself, and just Tell him how you feel and can he sort out some sort of family counselling.  He should be able to direct you.  There is no shame in this we all need help from time to time.

Once you understand your feelings you will be given a way to show you how to cope with them.  It does work.

You are not responsible for your fathers actions, so just let this go, no point in going over this again and again.

Try and focus your thoughts on the future, what do you want to be, what job do you think would suit you and put all your energies into achieving this.

Stay close to your mum, and if you can start to do things together.  i.e. suggest the pair of you go for a walk in the park, or make a picnic and drag her out of the house.  It need not cost money but try to do things that are different.

Even have a girls special night in where you try on make up together or massage your face etc.  Simple things that bring you and your mum together.

Its all about the future, keep the past in the past you have so many adventures ahead of you and time is a great healer.

I am sending some very special Angels to watch over you and your family.  Godbless.

Answer 8

wow, that's tough.  everyone has their own way of coping with things.  you just really have to believe that no matter how bad things get it can only get better.  i wouldn't trust my dad either if he did that so i think you're acting normally.  i was really sad about family stuff last year (i'm almost 18) and when my grandpa died it only got worse.  I'm a million times happier this year but nothing i did then really cheered me up.  It just takes time.  listen to music, laugh with friends, occupy your time.  things seem a whole lot worse when you're sitting in your room staring at the ceiling.

Answer 9

skye i"m not an expert maybe thats what you need  but hey!! this is something in the past to do with your mum and dad? you will get down and drab i think that may be normal because you may be gettin dragged in for some reason??  listen the past does matter to a certain extent but you have"nt done anything wrong so keep your chin-up and look after carefully whatever comes your way...  

Answer 10

Ah cheer up it might never happen!

Answer 11

i cant tell you how to deal with your personal problems, but depression wise, i can. i have been clinically depressed for 3 years. if you'd like to stay natural, then you can excersise regularly, take 3000 mg Omega Fish Oil a day along with one CoQ10.

However, If you are diagnosed clinically depressed, your doctor can prescribe an antidepressant.

i truley hope i helped!

Answer 12

I am probably not the right person to give you advice, and I won't pretend that "I know how you feel" because I don't. What I can tell you is that life is a roller-coaster, you have miserable periods when you are in falling so fast that you are absolutely overwhelmed and struggling to keep your head above the water, and you have periods when you are literally flying above the clouds and you are living your dreams! Whether it be your friends or someone special you meet or your mom, someone will bring you happiness. In the mean time the best thing to do is to think of something you really like to do, come up with some kind of a goal for the future (that is within reason) and wake up every morning with the thought of how to get a step closer to it. And when you succeed thing of where you started and how much you have achieved. One day you'll be a much stronger person than most people. I hope this makes some sense

Answer 13

Same here