Struggling with staying clean?

Question

I've been off drugs now for a few months. I was heavily addicted to painkillers and sedatives for ten years. I could pop 15 Vicodin at once and barely feel the effects. I took handfuls of Xanax...so it's been a long road of addiction.

I stopped cold turkey in May. I was tired of what it had done to me as a person.

I still dream about the drugs though. My happiest dreams are when I find a bottle of them in some hidden place. When i'm awake I constantly fight the demons in my head.

How can I deal with this?

Not anything religion related, I am agnostic. And no group meetings. I'm a loner and groups of people make me feel sick.

Please help if you have been where I am, or have any ideas how I can convince myself that it's worth it to stay on track. I feel like i'm losing my will.

Answer 1

i would keep trying to get off of that c**p i think you shoud keep going and trying you best

Answer 2

I'm sorry if you feel that I am being blunt about this but feel I need to be. You say you have had enough but have you, if then you can do this easy but what you are going through is part of the process. The trick is not to test the work you have done, don't have a one of or any kind of relapse. My usual bit of advice would be to suggest that you get involved in a hobby or voluntary job. Not much use if you want to be pretty much on your own. What about some form of web site where you could pass on some of the benefits of your wisdom to others who haven't quite got that far? Definetly find loads to do, less time to think at you sleep better to.

Good luck stay strong

Answer 3

This kind of reminds me of the book A Million Little Pieces....you should read it. It's a guys journey through rehab, but his world without his drug seems so miserable, but he got through it. I know, it seems corny, but I'm sure you would try anything, maybe it will give you the support and push you need to stay on track too.

I'm happy to see you're actually ready to quit, not just doing it for someone else, but doing it for yourself. Good luck!

Answer 4

Congratulations on your success thus far,you've come along way,so highly praise yourself would be the first step.I am agnostic myself so I hear you.How about some yoga or meditation?I am a great believer of Louise Hay she has some fantastic positive self help books & cd's.Take a look at her web site,as she would say"welcome to the hay ride!"

Answer 5

hello i was addicted to pain medication for years myself  i was on the pain patch  and i seen no way out but it all started just te way you are trying to quit i was just tried it was like a job to find the medication when my scrip ran out early and to know that my true happiness only came when i had the medicine in my system i have been clean and not letting drugs run my life now for 4 years and the it was the fact that i did it cold turkey everyday gets a little easier and knowing that you are doing it without meetings and support makes you feel like you can take on anything keep pushing yourself to stay on track because it makes the reward so much greater it can be done  good luck