Stupid to ask on here I know...

Question

I am just lost. I love this guy. We've been together 4 years. We had a son this February. It just seems like what we once had is gone. I love him and he loves me, but I am just not happy. I feel like I just don't need a man in my life right now, and I know that is selfish because of the baby, but I just keep thinking, I only have one life. I don't wanna live a life with no passion forever. We have been talking about marriage. Should I end this before, or give it a shot? I am so confuzed, it would just break his heart....

Answer 1

well if u love him like u say then there is passion, but if u feel no passion u must not love him. Or maybe u are just nervous. or or orrr maybe u are going through some other case of depression or something.  

Answer 2

I would wait it out, you did just have a baby and you will experience change (in so many ways), if you love him you should be willing to grow/change  together. You don't have to hurry and get married....be sure.

I would be honest with him and tell him how you feel (I feel like I just don't need a man in my life right now) if you can figure out a way to tell him, how you feel, in a non-threatening way...he may understand the tension in your relationship better and he may even surprised you...he probably knows you best and can tell what's up w/ you.

I went through something similar lately (just felt like being independent..but very strongly) I was really torn up about it cause I didn't think it was a good enough reason to break up because I really still love him (And he is the type that I was sure would be just crushed) I talked to him and he addressed possible reasons why I was having lone wolf syndrome and it made allot of sense. We are great now and I think he respected me more afterwards.

Another reason for talking is that if in a few weeks nothing in you has changed...he knows you gave it your best shot and won't be as blindsided.

Answer 3

Yes, life is way too short.  It is way too easy to get used to a lack of love in your life if you stay in a relationship for too long.  Your life will fly by faster than you know it the older you get, the longer you stay with him.  You'll set him free to find a life with true happiness, one where he finds someone to love him as much as as he loves you.  You will pass up potentially so many men because you're tied to this man.  Such missed opportunities.  Have determination & willpower that you can end this relationship.  

Answer 4

Tough one, really. Do you love him? You said there is no passion, so that makes me think you might not. It's not my place to say so, but I do think that as a mother, you should want a man in your life so that your son can grow up with a good role model. But your life is important too, and if there really is no passion then you will both end up miserable in the end if you can't get your passion back, so marriage will not fix it and will likely end in divorce. I think you should have a serious conversation with your man about this, tell him how you feel and what you need. If he can step up to the plate, then you both might end up happier. But if he can't, let him know that he will lose you because you don't want to tie both of you up in a dead-end relationship.

Communication is key!

Answer 5

If you have any doubts AT ALL, then DON'T do it! Marriage is a serious step and you don't want to get yourself into something you'll be real sorry for later.

Answer 6

Not every day in a relationship is full of passion.  And a lot has changed, especially recently with a new baby.  Could you be suffering from postpartum depression? Or is it that you realize, that fun time is over, every day for the rest of your life someone else is depending on you to make responsible choices, and that means you can no longer be carefree? I don't know how old you are, but have a feeling you haven't really lived your life.  You have been in a steady relationship and don't even know what you like or don't like.  i wouldn't marry him, but I wouldn't throw the life you have built with him either. give things sometime, to put it into perspective, tell him you want to make sure that marriage is something you both want. Ask him if he sees spending the rest of his life with you, or if he feels obligated because you are the mother of his child.  Ask him do you think you will grow tired of being with me?  Have you experienced everything you want to experience, before we settle down?  how will we make time for each other.  Passion isn't everything, but it is important in a relationship occasionally, will you never feel passion again? Sometimes relationships hit ruts and it wanes, but it does come back. Think long and hard before you decide what to do in this situation, and have some conversations with him to see what he thinks of your relationship, and go from there.  Good luck and congrats on your new baby.