Stupidest jokes Especially women tell me your lamest jokes its usually guys that answer these

Question

I need some lame jokes. Like this one. How do you know your duck is bad? Its Fowl..... See really lame. Give me your stupidest jokes but they should atleast make you snicker. I dont mind risque jokes.

Here's two more. A man walks into a Bar......Ouch

A horse walks into the bar and the Bartender goes whats the deal with the long face? (i guess it works for Sarah Jessica Parker too :) )

Answer 1

once a blond took a dog and hung it upside down on one of her walls and started to pray before the dog.....Guesssss why..????

because reverse of dog is god.....

isnt that very lame....????

Answer 2

A young groom who was just married asks his buddy what he should do once he takes his new bride to the bedroom  at nite. The buddy tells the newlywed that he should take the hardest thing he's got and put it where she goes wee wee.  The groom was confused, but took his friends advice.  He took his bowling ball and threw it into the toilet.

Answer 3

What do you call a wondering fish?

Answer 4

haha! that one about a man walking into a bar... haha. that took me a second to get it. here's a few more... hope you like them. :]

a guy walks into a bar carrying jumper cables. the bartender says to him, 'you can come in, but don't start anything!

a man was in an elevator, and the operator kept calling him, 'son'. so the man said, 'why do you keep calling me son? you're not my father!' and the operator replied, 'i brought you up, didn't i?

when mr sip's wife steps into the restroom, does mississippi?

why do cows wear bells? their horns don't work.

when is a car not a car? when it turns into a driveway!  

Answer 5

A woman wanted bigger b***s, so she asked her husband if he knew of any way to make them bigger without plastic surgery.

He said, "Sure, rub them with toilet paper."

She's skeptical but decides to take his advise.

So every day she religiously rubs her b***s with toilet paper and nothing happens.  After about a month of this she finally tells her husband...

"Hey this is not working!"

And he says, "Well I don't know what the problem could be, it always worked on your but!"

Answer 6

This is better in person but...

Q. What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?

A. Bah nah nah naaaaah. (AKA Banana.)

Answer 7

why did the blonde jump off a building?  she thought her pad had wings ...:D

the hygiene pad...cuz they have wings...see it was lame...lol

ooh ooh i have another one...

two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat.

The driver blonde turned to her friend and said "You know - it's blondes like that that give us a bad name!"

To this, the other blonde replies "I know it, and if I knew how to swim, I'd go out there and drown her."

Answer 8

*Knock,Knock*

Who's there?

*Not Heath Ledger*

....

oh burn

Answer 9

Once a zebra climbs on a mango tree and there is a bull sitting there.The bull sees him and asks the zebra that why did you climb the mango.The zebra answers that to eat an apple.The bull gets confused and asks him that this is a mango tree how can you eat an apple.The zebra answers that he has the apple in his hand.

was that lame or WAS THAT LAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 10

This mushroom walks into a bar and the bartender says i"m sorry but we don't serve mushrooms here. The mushroom replys why not i'm a fungi (get it )  

Answer 11

why did a blonde throw a stick of butter out of a two story window? She wanted to see a butterfly.