Sucess stories of foster to adoption?

Question

I am seriously considering being a foster mom and adopt foster children. I live in the los angeles, CA. I love to hear stories of families adopting foster children. What ages are best? Is there really an attachment disorder with some fosters?

I don't really want babies but I was thinking adopting between the ages of 3-9 and will take siblings as well. Any advice is appreciated.

Answer 1

My husband and I adopted a 6 year old 7 years ago.  Yes, it was a long hard road.  We had him in counseling for a year.  We found that each foster child was different and it took different things for each of them to get through.  I wanted to pull my hair out at times...lol  Was it worth it you bet...I would do it again in a heart beat!  

We have a wonderful son he is 13 now.  You can email me if you want more of the story.......

Answer 2

I am a foster mom who adopted! My hubby & I got a 5 day old baby we attached to immedantly! We adopted him when he turned 15 months old & he is 2 years old now. He is so smart, funny, and doesn't know a stranger! He is the best decision we've ever made! We personally prefer Infants because they have not experienced physical or mental abuse. However most Infants in the foster care system have birth mothers who used drugs through out the pregnancy. We currently are fostering a 8 month old baby who we got straight from the hospital. We are waiting to see what's going to happen with the case, but it looks like adoption may happen!!

The only advise I can give is just LOVE them. It's really all these children want. The older children sometimes have walls up to protect themselves. (Picture them as little warriors -- fighting to stay alive) this is how they cope. You can break through these walls...... they want you to, just love them and they will learn to trust you. I wish you the best in your journey-- and hope you have a sucess story in your future! Good Luck!

Answer 3

I have been a foster mother for almost a year now to a ten year old. I do not think age matters if your heart is big enough to offer a safe and happy environment to raise a child in. You will still be making the best decision in that special childs life.

Answer 4

My husband and I have 10 children. We've adopted 7 foster children, only one was a baby at the time. Unfortunately, it's a toss up. One of the children was awesome until she turned 10 and is now 15. We've been thru h**l with her and it's not over. You never, ever know what you will get.

Overall, it's best to adopt as young as you can with as little abuse and neglect as possible, but there's no way to know. Of our seven that we adopted, one has about 8 diagnosed disorders, he is our son and is 15 and will most likely have problems all his life. His half sister is 14 and wonderful in almost every way, but refused to do homework and has always been strong willed. She is a handful with school work but her heart is wonderful and we are just hanging on and going for the ride. lol.

Our son 14 who came with his two siblings is amazing but won't do homework. lol. He is wonderful too, but man this homework thing is killing me.

Our 8 year old is funny, cute and can work a room like you've never seen. Very lazy and struggles with wanting to do his homework, but hey, he wants to play with his friends! lol.

His 13 y/o sister was born a premie and drug affected. She is a doll and has always struggled in school. Last year we put her in a private Catholic grade school and she really struggled, but this year is doing straight A's.

Our 15 y/o daughter is the 2nd in command here as far as mommy is concerned. When I'm not here, she's in charge. She is an A, B student at a Catholic College Prep high school.

Our 15 y/o daughter who became volatile and hostile at 10 years of age in the past year has started shoplifting, stealing from me, smoking pot, cigarettes, selling cigarettes, sneaking out of our home at night, skipping school, not doing her school work, having s*x with adult men, trying to set the other kids in our house up to get in trouble. I can't remember what else. Just today she went to a National Guard Youth Challenge program orientation with my husband. We've spent thousands on help for her and the state will not help unless we make her a foster child again. That is not an option for us.

So you see, so many differences in all of them. If I were asked to adopt a foster child again the answer would be no. I love my life, but it is stressful, never easy, and financially a killer. Luckily we have an amazing village of friends, family and community members.

I hope this helps, if not, feel free to contact me anytime.

Answer 5

Adoption and fostering is such a rewarding experience.  My husband and I are hoping to adopt soon.  I have many friends and know lot's of people who have been adopted or in foster care and all of them have such great things to say about our adoptive and foster parents

Answer 6

We have 3 adopted siblings. They are now 6, 8,11.  we had them as foster for a year and then adopted them which was three years ago.  They are doing so well and have made so much progress that it really make me realize that we did do the right thing by adopting them. There were some tough times but seeing were they are now made it all worth while.

You are a wonderful person for considering this venture.  It is a life changing decision but it can be rewarding.