Sudden interest in dead bodies, murder stories, horror movies, serial killers ?

Question

some background information-

ive recently changed medications

i was on serapax and lexapro

im now on placil and mogadons for about 3 weeks

im 18 years old

have had mental illness for about 3 years

ive had heavy drug problems, heavy drinking problems, criminal activity problems, and sexual problems (i have had 47 sexual partners)

no self confidence and eating disorders,

i have now not had s*x for 8months ( i despise even the thought of it)

no drugs for 8 months

no drinking for 6 months

i have lost contact with everyone i knew

i dont leave the house

i lie in my bed 20 hours a day

i havent eaten anything for 14 days

i have been looking at dead bodies on www.rotten.com

i have been reading up on serial killers

ive been thinking about getting a gun lisence

i have been thinking about wanting to kill a certain person who did terrible, terrible things to me, i have so much hatred, i have nightmares every night about him, also have dreams that i poisen him and stab him in the back of the neck

sometimes i wake myself up screaming

anyway..whats this sudden interest mean? am i going crazy?

please help me

also my windows are covered with tinfoil so i can sleep all day, i never go outside i never see the sunlight

Answer 1

rotten.com *slurp slurp*

Answer 2

Having your windows covered in foil is what is making yourself sick! Studies show that people don't get enough sunlight are very depressed. You are doing this to yourself. You have made such an improvment but you are honestly killing yourself.

Why would you stay in bed all day long? Your past is done, you were strong enough to move on. Show the world you are stronger than all the losers on the street. Be proud of yourself! Hey i don't even know you and i am proud of you.

Go to a bookstore and grab a coffee and a peice of cake and read some magazines and see what is going on in the world. Go to a beach and laugh at the tramps that walk by you in a thong that think they are "gods gifts"

It's good you watch crime shows, it makes you smarter and more aware of the things that are going on. You don't need a gun sweetie..... Go take a self defence class instead.

If you continue at the rate you are going your going to die and someone will be on that website looking at your dead body!

Go outside tomorrow and just go lay at a park and clear your mind. You will feel refreshed.

PS:If you have not eaten for 14 days you would be dead.....

Answer 3

I am not a big supporter of anti-depressants.

The columbine shooters, at the time they blew their school away, were being treated for depression and mental illness with prozac and zoloft.

I don't recommend you go off them cold turkey, but judging by experience with medications, they had some crazy side effects. They might help for a while, but eventually you need to up the dose, etc.

And their side effects are ridiculous.

My brother in law is a: druggie, previous cocain addict, alcoholic, paranoid schitzo. He never leaves the house, spends most of the day either in bed or playing video games.

Since he started taking placil and mogadons he has had some weird side effects. He talks to himself at night, walks around the house at night, he is addicted to caffeine, gained 40 lbs in 1 month, and one day when my huz and I were spending the night at their house I woke up and he was standing over me with a kitchen knife.

He used to try to kill my husband (before we were married) and threw him through a window once.

My best friend, since she started taking placil, has the attention span of a 5 year old, can't remember anything past 10 minutes, has "manic episodes" that require her being placed in a room alone until she is calm (the weird thing is that what is now considered a "manic episode" used to be just her being happy).

I am not a fan of antidepressents. Everyone I have known who has every taken an anti-anxiety, anti-depressent, anti-psychotic, or bipolar medication has always changed in some really weird ways, usually becoming more violent.

Also, you NEED sunlight. There is something called S.A.D, which is a depressive disorder caused by lack of sunlight. People in Alaska get it. I don't know if you have it, but sunlight is imperative to healing. Even being in the sun for 10 minutes every day will help a little. If you can start with 10 minutes and slowly progress to 30-60 minutes, I think you will see an improvement in your mood.  Being in a dark room all day sleeping isn't going to do much. Start with baby steps, 5-10 minutes outside everyday.  

Answer 4

First of all, don't think you are going crazy. I understand your plight and you have obviously got problems, but we can help you. You have been extremely brave in discussing your issues, give yourself credit for having the introspect to do this. It sounds like you have had a very tough time, and getting you better will take work, but it will work out with understanding, time and knowledge of yourself. You are very depressed, and the obsession with dead bodies is common in depressed people. I have done the same thing. This interest in death and destruction is telling you that you are very unhappy, but it doesnt always have to be this way. I would suggest visiting your doctor. If you dont feel that you can do this yet, google depression and its symptoms to read up on what people feel like when depressed. Im sure a lot will apply to you, this shows you are not alone.and there are people out there who will want to help you. Everything you say you do is unhealthy, but like I say it can be fixed. See your doctor.

All the best.

Answer 5

Wow when i clicked on your question i was thinking everyone finds murder interesting it's the reason shows like CSI have huge ratings.

But due to the  history you've included here and medication changes i think you may be more than obsessive , perhaps telling or talking to someone would help like the one who last did your prescriptions.

I hope you'll be ok you sound like a nice girl take care of yourself Ok?.honey.

Answer 6

You have to make the decision to be who and what you are. Thoughts are just that, thoughts. They are not actions. YOU decide to turn your thoughts into actions. YOU decide to stay in bed for 20 hrs a day. And YOU decide to go to the wed sights and look up all the negative things.

I understand mental illness. I also know it is possible to control most of your actions. Don't fall into the trap of being labeled. Find you. Develop a positive you. Be productive. And love yourself. Everything else will take care of its self.

Answer 7

You need to see your doctor to tell them about the side effects that you have, the lying in bed and not going out.  You also need to speak with your psychiatrist about the sudden interest in getting revenge.

Answer 8

http://canget.musicmix.at

you can get much information in this website, If you will check anyone blue link in website.

Answer 9

Necrophilia?

Answer 10

okay honey,

I don't think theirs anything wrong with you, and good on you for giving up drugs, s*x and booze, it shows your a strong person.

I am a bit worried though about firstly not eating in 14 is bad for you, and I guess thats a partial reason why you stay in bed 20 hours. Also not being in the sun at all can lead to some pretty serious v.D defficiencys, easily treated but if left they won't get better.

I would firstly go and see your GP or if you don't want to go out of the house you can get a doctor to come to your home, be sure to tell them every thing including your nightmares and looking at corpses on the internet. I don't think your mad but i think that a doctor will be able to help you, I have heard that dreams and thoughts are your bodies way of telling you things, and they are usually un-related. In this case I think your body is trying to tell you that you need to start eating regular meals and that you need to get into the sun a bit more often.

I hope I helped.