Suggestions on how to deal with my toddlers constant whining and tantrums?

Question

Does anyone have any practical tips on how to diffuse tantrums or on how to get my 2 and a half year old daughter to STOP whining?

I love her more than anything, but the whining is driving me crazy. There are times when I literally have to leave the room, because I feel like if I don't, I'll snap. I try to be as patient and understanding as possible but she has a way of pushing my buttons like no one else.

I try to be very concious of how I respond to her tantrums because I don't want her to witness any reciprocated aggression (that's not going to teach her to stop). But I'll admit a few times she has brought me to a breaking point where I have really yelled at her (I know I'm "human" but I still felt guilty for DAYS afterward).

I would really like to hear from other moms who have kids this age, and what you do to handle (and stay sane!) during a "whining session" or full-blown, kicking & screaming tantrum.

Thanks

Answer 1

I think leaving the room is good!  Withdrawing your attention is the perfect response.  Just make sure that whatever room you are leaving her in is safe, of course.

If she keeps the tantrum up, and especially if you want use of the room she is throwing it in, you can say, "I don't like this.  It is hurting my ears, and you are going to have to go to your room until you stop."  Then put her in her room and make her finish up there.

Whatever you do, DO NOT reward the behavior.  I have seen parents who claim to dislike whining and tantrums, reward that behavior.  I can't tell if they secretly like it or what.  DO praise good behavior, which I am sure she sometimes displays.

Of course you are right that yelling is not good, but don't dwell too much on past instances.  Children are forgiving.  Having a plan to immediately separate yourself from the tantrum (by leaving the room or by sending her to hers), knowing that this difficult period will certainly end, and, if possible, seeing the humor in it, will help.  (I mean, really, isn't it a little bit hilarious that someone would stage a full-scale operatic performance because she hasn't been given a Nilla wafer?)

Answer 2

Check out my site on the category of timeouts and other tactics for tantrum children. I hope it helps you! These tactics have worked for me throughout my whole career in child care and with younger siblings.

Answer 3

How to handle the "terrible twos?"

http://www.babycenter.com/400_how-do-i-h...

Answer 4

The main thing is that no matter how mad it makes you or how much it makes you want to just scream you CANT let them see that it bothers you at all. You just have to act like it does not faze you even the slightest bit. Walk away and then you ignore them and let them just kick and scream and whine and at first it gets worse but then they just give up because they realize it's not going to work on you.Go do something completely different, do dishes, watch tv, whatever you want except pay any attention to them If you give in even one time they are going to think that it will work forever. It sounds mean but it works and it generally works fast. You just have to cut it out or she will end up like some kids I see who still do that when they are like 10, that makes me want to lock them in a closet !!! Not seriously, that's mean.

Sad that it sounds like I am talking about some lagoon creature right?