Suicidal confessional? Please any help.?

Question

First off, I have a very challenging life. Suicide seems to be an option for me. This world isn't helping. My father committed suicide (they say he was sick) in a physchological way. The gene runs through my family. I have weight problems, I'm obsessive compulsive, I have anxiety, I don't value myself as a person, I have problems focusing. I'm angry, I also feel that I always fail. I know I don't but things I want to succedd in I fail. (ie losing weight, sports, goals, friends, family) According to physicals I'm perfectly healthy but I don't feel that way. (I'm 5'6, 203) My one goal is getting healthy my body type is an endomorph I do move around alot but I just never seem to get there. I had a extremely had past I'm still not over. It causes me to overeat over depression I guess. I wish my father was here maybe he would help me accept who I am but hes not. I would be a different person if he was. I feel sad just for the fact I don't know how to be the person he would have wanted. He wanted me to be in the NFL. I can barely suceed in every day tasks so I guess thats not going to happen. Although I do play high school football (As a freshman). I don't have the means to see a physchiatrist. Sometimes I just wish I had someone to hug or tell them I love them and mean it. Girls never come to me and I'm scared a girl will think I'm a waste of time if I ask her Obviously after reading this who would want to date me? I know I have things to offer though but I'm just so afraid. I've had some girls but they were all "long distance". I want to be normal I want to look and feel normal I feel so trapped and ugly. I'm also very indecisive. I just wish I thought someone valued me. I'm turning fifteen soon. I don't want to resort to the same fate as my father. I need help. I need ideas for change ways to better myself (yes, I've read self help books but I need a real persons opinion.) Or maybe I should just give up. I usually wouldn't tell someone this much and if I did they'd brush it off and say I'm nuts. I'm not though and this isn't even all of it. Any help? Advice? I'm drowning.

Answer 1

You need to see a therapist.  You can, there are free programs.  You have faced some very difficult times in your life, but utilize them as lessons.  Your fathers suicide left you many scars.  Do not do the same to others.  You are a desirable person.  You will not see that through my words alone. Your self esteem first must be built back up.  

You can do this.  Your first goal is getting healthy.  Go to your schools health or gym teacher, they will be able to begin you on a regiment to improve your health and loose weight.  

Not every one will like you...so what :) Those who do are what is important.  

You may have a mental illness ...do not be ashamed of that if you do.  Would someone be ashamed that they have cancer.  I want you to know that there are those who love you.  You have an important mission in life....do not forget that.  Please email me if you need.   more help or someone just to talk to...I am a great listener.  

Answer 2

Listen up young man, I'll tell you what sort of a person your Dear Father would have wanted you to be.

He would have wished more than anything for you to be Happy,with yourself as well as Life in general. How dare you talk about suicide when your Life is just beginning.

You say you feel over weight,then do something about that. That's step one. There are no end of ways to lose weight if you really wish to.

Second Forget girls,Poppet, you have a lifetime to worry about girls.

Sweetheart, I bet you are one of the most huggable of hugs anyone could want to put their arms round.The only thing frightening them away is yourself!

Harsh as I sound Poppet, I am trying to give you a wake up call. You see Life is all about choices,for those of us lucky enough to have a choice.We all have dislikes about ourselves and feel miserable and unloved at times,but there is nothing less attractive to another person than a miserable face. I have lived on the Streets ended up in the gutter and wasted 35 Years of my Life because I convinced myself I was worthless, unloved and lower than the lowest. Well, here I am 52,

have my own Independence my own Very sucessful Life all done by me,Poppet.  Now come on go look in the mirror see the real you, and think of what you have to offer, then work on it. I am here if you need a shoulder and I understand exactly how you feel I just think you need a little guidance to realise your own self worth.

Thinking of you Poppet, Good Luck, and remember Life is not a rehearsel we only get one chance at it.

Take yours and relish it.x

Answer 3

You should check yourself into a hospital, you can check yourself in to the mental ward for  like a week, to give yourself a rest and be evaluated and talk to professionals that can help you move on with life and give you advice on how to feel better about yourself.

I have felt that way before, but you have to get out of that rut and find something to occupy your time, and tell your feelings to someone. Keeping them in only makes it worse.

GOOD LUCK!

Answer 4

sorry to hear about ur dad but think

if u do die, people will miss u like u miss ur dad (they will be depressed)

i think u r a nice guy who need to step up and be brave but i noe it is hard

so i will suggest school councelor...

if u r shy...........write everything down and give it to him

it is now and never

do not comite suiside

there is hope ...u just need to find it (and i think u r normal but it is u who need to feel tht  

Answer 5

Take that option AWAY! dont do it.......ppl care about u...they dont want to lose u just...practis geting over some of ur habits.......go to a doctor about ur whity if u need to.....BUT DONT END UR LIFE

Answer 6

You are in a tough situation but I sense from your writing that you know that there is something you can do and that suicide is not the answer.  First, given my age, I can tell you that being a teenager is really hard.  You will never be more miserable than you are now.  There are many reasons but one of them is that you don't have perspective because you are only 15.

I think it's somewhat common to pile up all that you think is wrong with you and come to the conclusion that there's no way out.  Try something different.  Think of the one thing you don't like about yourself that would be the easiest to change and try to change that first.  For example, you could come to terms that even though your dad wanted you in the NFL, there may be a different career for you.  There are many good careers you could have so focus on that and when you're ready (5 years from now, if you'd like), work on something else.

Answer 7

Try to focus on the good things in life.  There has to be something.  And if there isn't then there WILL be something to look forward to in the future.  Hold on, and keep positive.

"Girls never come to me and I'm scared a girl will think I'm a waste of time if I ask her Obviously after reading this who would want to date me?"

If a girl thinks you're a waste of time, then you should not be wasting your time on them.

You will find someone who accept you for YOU sooner or later.

You might doubt it, but you will.  There's a little thing called hope.

You have to wait.  Life sucks sometimes, but hey you're still here.  So am I.

I don't know who you are or what your name is, but I care about you.

Go to your nearest book store and pick up a copy of The Perks of Being a Wallflower. Asap! I think you will like it. :)

Answer 8

i say you have to go out there and reach out to people. this is kinda a heavy load so don't tell them right away. build a friendship and when it's strong enough you should tell them. if you like someone ask her out. you only have one life to live so make the best of it! go on vacations. try trips. try listening to calming sounds. try therapy. I'm not kidding i suffer from depression and i refuse to go to a therapist and it's been all down hill. they can really help. try getting a male that way it wont be so awkward. or if you feel comfortable see the school counselor. maybe see if your mom could help. this is gonna sound stupid but try praying to god. hes always there to listen. you might not get a response right away but it's there.

Answer 9

i'm 20 years old 200lbs. fatherless my whole life, my relationships were all ****, and i often find myself fantasizing about blowing my ****** brains out, i went to the hospital to see what they would say, and they said i seemed slightly depressed, but only because i censored myself so i wouldn't be carried away by the officers on standby... my point is they're just fantasies, i would never i actually go through with it, simply because i'm not a coward, i don't inflict pain on myself, and due to my most recent relation and how horrible it went for me, it just makes me want to better myself in as many ways as possible, intellectually, physically, socially speaking, any way, i see you have a goal, that's the best idea you had on this entire page, make yourself the ultimate goal, improve your quality of life as much as possible before the grim reaper comes for you. and spend time with family and friends, you'll come to see that others have worse problems than you, ALWAYS.