Suicidal fiancé! need help x ?

Question

my fiancé has been having loads of problems with his ex using his kid as a weapon she knows this hurts him and he is 3 years old and he doesnt even know him! this is making him really depressed he broke down last nite and told me that he wants to harm himself and has been taking strong painkilliers everynight to make him feel numb and to forget the pain... We also have a 8 month baby together and he is a fantastic dad and a great person! it is really hurting me to see him like this, im am worried about him!

What do I do?

Answer 1

Remind him that the reason why he is in pain is because he can't see someone he loves, his child. And that if he hurts himself he will be doing the same to you and your baby. I'm sure he wouldn't want to do that.

Answer 2

You guys need to seek treatment for your husband's depression.  If he's going to medicate this, at least medicate it properly:  with an anti-depressant.  Depending on what he's taking, he may also need medical supervision to detox from the painkiller use.  But there are also a lot of life-style improvements you can make that will help a lot - which a mental health service provider of some kind can help you with.  ie:  finding ways to reduce stress in other areas of life, increasing your interaction with supportive friends, doing things you enjoy, exercising and eating healthy, possibly finding a support group for people in a similar situation, etc.

Your husband has a real problem in the form of his ex's behavior, but he also has a real mental illness in the form of depresson.  Depression makes it infinitely more difficult to cope with problems.  Tell your husband he'll feel infinitely more empowered to deal with this issue if he takes proper care of himself.  

Also, this may sound scary, but I would check what the laws are in your state for having people committed to the psych ward.  Obviously, this is a last resort, but it's important to know what you can do in the horrible circumstance that husband's health deteriorates and he refuses voluntary treatment.  Never hesitate to do it if you think he's in serious danger of harming himself.

Answer 3

Do you think you could prove, in court, that she is an unfit mother and the son should be in the fathers custody?  Do the two of you have a larger and more stable income?  (Of course you should probably be married before you take this into court).  You need evidence or it won't fall through.  But trying to get custody of his son is my advice.  Just support him, be there for him and try to talk to him about how he's feeling.  Guys DO NOT like to talk about how they feel, so don't really push, I suspect that will just make things worse.  Just try not to let him wallow in his depression.  Get out of the house a little, try to laugh.  But, other than that, good luck!