Summer haiku. feedback please?

Question

hot sun up above

white powdered sand underneath -

world passing me by

thanks. :)

Answer 1

Awesome.

I like it.

Really i do. Its cool!!

My poem.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 2

You have done exactly what a Hai'ku is supposed to do--added a surprising and contrary third line.

Although we cannot really imitate the Japanes in this form, you have done an excellent "American Ku."

Answer 3

nice.

suggestion to ad;

between my toes the waves wreath

while summer's walking by

Answer 4

Very nice this piece

some of the world stopped to read

and gave you much praise.

Answer 5

Great job, a little short, but you should really submit it to http://www.papertank.com and see what they think.

I bet you could get a high rating for it on there!