Super Strict Parents?

Question

My parents are so strict that my life feels out of control. Im 14 years old. They drive me to and from school EVERYDAY. I'm not allowed to go on public transportation alone. When most kids in my school go to the movies on fridays, my parents say I can't cause its a waste of time. I don't think anyone willl ever ask me out anyways...but just in case...My parents say I can't date or have a boyfriend. I can never spontaneously go out and hang with friends. It has to be all planned out and on a vacation day. They said they are even gonna drive me to COLLEGE!!!! I have to live with them in and after college till i get married....

Marrriage....

I have to marry someone vietnames, catholic, and go to harvard.They never approve of anyone someone brings home...cuz my aunts used to live with us and when they brought their male friends home...my parents hated EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM!! So since im their daughter, it will be even worse for me.

DATING...

They said I can't hang out with boys and NEVER go out on a date. How am I susposed to find true love if I dont start now??!?! When ever they see someone kissing...they say oh their bad people and will go to h**l!!

I know they love me but...come on!!

Whenever I watch something with kissing...they always go...oh you cant watch that stuff...or ask...IS THIS AN "ADULT" SHOW?....it was like this even when i used to watch THATS SO RAVEN!! GOD Im 14! I know what s*x IS!

They act like im 5...and they will for the rest of my life!!....

I wanna go to an acting college and move to LA and try getting an acting role...but they said...i cant move alone and have to go to harvard and do buisness!!!!!!!!!!!!

When i ask to hang out with friends...they say...oh it will make you a "bad" girl.

I dont have b***s and their like....oh 14 years old is to young to have them...WTF?!?

They don't realize how old 14 years old really is. aND EVEN WHEN im 30they will never change!

God I feel like when i turn 18 I will have to run away and hide...I dont know...im just so depressed thinking about my future aand that my parents will drive me to and from college...

So my question....

Comments? anyone?

Answer 1

I have the same problem!

Have you told how you feel?

You're just lucky you're not under child abuse like me. :(

But, I wish you God Bless.

Answer 2

just ignore them.  do what you want to do.  they cant tell you where to go or how to live like.  its your decision.  do whats best for you and dont think about what your parents might feel

Answer 3

when you turn 18, you can do what you want.  They have no control.  I read that you don't want to go against their wishes, but think about it.  If you are not allowed to date, how are you ever going to get married?  Would you seriously sit there and let them set you up in a marriage that you didn't even know the guy?  because that sounds like the plan.  You can't let that happen.  And what about a job?  they probably wont let you get a job.  so when you are in college and you want to buy something that isn't a necessity, your not gonna be able to.  and when you do go for a job, (when they allow it) you wont have any work experience and that kinda makes you look like a rich kid that mommy and daddy wont support anymore.  That is the idea employers might get from lack of work experience.  Also, Do you really think that going through life trying to please someone other than yourself is worth it?  You only live once, and to kill yourself, would only be the cowards way out.  

Answer 4

Oh, I read your question and actually felt sorry for you, and I'm a parent and I was pretty strict with my kids, but not that strict.

Well, when you turn 18, you actually will legally be an adult and your parents will not be able to control your life unless you let them.  I do recommend though that if you turn 18 before you actually graduate from high school that you still follow their rules and don't try to move out until after you graduate.

But you can follow your dreams and be what you want to be.  You may have to be strong enough to go against your parents wishes and actually take control of your life yourself.  You do know though that some movie stars actually graduated from prestigious universities?  And that not all of them even took acting, so if you can put up with it until you do graduate from college, well then you will be able to get a good job, get a place of your own and then, finally, be able to do what you want.

If that means that you decide to look for a good job that is close to an acting school, well then do that.  If it means finding a job in L.A. and then trying to get into acting go for it.  Just try to hang in there until you can make decisions for yourself, without needing your parents support.  Once you no longer need their support, you will be able to do what you want.

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Listen to me!  You may not feel strong enough now (and I'm not actually telling you to do it NOW) but even though you don't believe that you will be strong enough when you're older, you will gain inner strength as you grow older.  I still think that you should go ahead and do what they want at least until you have started college.  You may meet people there, join groups there, etc. that will really help you to grow up and find inner strength.  You are still very young so things seem hopeless.  A lot of the reason you feel they are is because the idea of standing up to them scares you.

When you are older, you won't feel as frightened.  But getting a good education before you try to step out in the world on your own will be a BIG help.  That's why I recommend you stay on their good side until after you complete college.

As far as dating and boys are concerned, well you will always have time to date and eventually marry even if you do wait until after college. Many, many people are waiting until late 20's to early 30's to get married nowadays anyway.  Getting married and having babies is not ALL there is to life.

Can you possibly talk to someone else, some other adult?  How about one of those Aunts you mentioned?  Or a teacher at your school?

Killing yourself will definitely NEVER let you get the life you want, will it?!! Instead of thinking, I'll kill myself and then they will be sorry, think I'll put up with them until I am educated enough and smart enough to support myself and then I'll tell them off and they'll have to realize that I'm the one who should be making the decisions for my own life.

Answer 5

Wow. Your parents are ridiculous.

Email me if you need someone to talk to because it looks like you're not leaving the house anytime soon: [e-mail]