-Due to budget cuts, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.
-I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person.
-I haven't lost my mind! It's backed up on a disk somewhere!
-Some days you are the pigeon. Other days you are the statue.
-Too many freaks. Not enough circuses!
-Dog: They feed me. They care for me. They must be gods!
Cat: They feed me. They care for me. I must be God!
-Chaos. Panic. Disorder. My Work Here Is Done!
-You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me.
-On the keyboard of life, I always keep one finger on the escape key.
-Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
-Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons because you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
-Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.
-A closed mouth gathers no foot.
-I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left!
-A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
-I used to have a handle on life, then it broke.
-Jesus loves you, but I think you are a jerk!
-Coffee. Chocolate. Men. Some things in life are better rich.
-Talk is cheap. Because demand exceeds supply.
-Does it scare you that you are looking for wisdom from a t-shirt?
Tags: