TELL ME WHAT TO DO--I CANT WAIT FOR YOUR ANSWER?

Question

i just caught my child drinking with her cousin's tell me what to do she did it at exactly 3:00 tell me what to do

Answer 1

let them have fun as long as they are not doing bad stuff

Answer 2

Figure out how they got it.  If they tell you who provided turn the provider into the police.  I would say she needs an 8pm curfew for the remainder of the school year.  You might want to consider outpatient treatment for substance abuse.  It may sound rash but I know a lot of parents who wished they would have nipped the problem in the *** before it got too far out of hand.    

Answer 3

oh man.

this is a biggie.

dont use violence, but ground her from computer/going out/ cell phone

tell cousin's parents

make her watch drunk driving videos

let her to talk to a real time alcoholic

good luck.. :/

Answer 4

yeah, how old is she?

I guess you could ground her...

explain to her the dangers of drinking.

you know, show her nasty pictures, to make her NOT want to drink.

and make sure she understands the importance of not giving in to peer pressure.

Answer 5

You really need to talk to your child.  For great ideas on what you can say and how/when to say it, you can visit   www.timetotalk.org   It's well worth it, and will make you feel more confident.  It will give you the tools you need to HELP your child, rather than just punishing.

Answer 6

yes how old is she. her age depends on if you have to sit her down and talk to her about the consequences and why you would not like her do start this habit or if you need to ground her.  

Answer 7

thats like 12 mins ago dnt freak wow  its with family thats the best thing cause u no they wont get to drunk no worry

Answer 8

how old is she??

if you haven't already had several conversations with her about her future and how bright it is, etc etc and how alcohol has the potential to lead her down the wrong path, then get a move on.

you've got to keep the communication lines open.

something i tried recently with my son....i've always told him that i'm not his friend, i'm his mom and it's MY job to take care of him. so recently, after one of our long talks....esp while we're baking cookies or tossing a ball back and forth .... he told me that sometimes he needs to be able to talk to me. so i told him that if he comes to me and tells me that he needs me as a friend, i'll be a friend and listen to him and he won't get in trouble if he's done something he knows he's not supposed to do.

also, i took him to our family doc for his first unannounced, random drug test. i'll be doing that at least a few times a year from now on. of course we had a long conversation about it afterward but he's got to know that his momma is right there for him and in the long run, drugs and alcohol aren't going to help anything. i know how persuasive peer pressure can be so i told him that if feels pressured to try drugs bc a "friend" is offering them to him, he can say, heck no, my mom takes me for random drug testing and i'd get in serious trouble!

so do something together that you both enjoy and get the conversation flowing. you could end up hearing things that you never would have expected.

but then again, maybe she wanted to try it out. or felt pressured by her cousin to do it. have you talked to the cousin's parents too?

while i'm on the subject, i recently did a quick search in his room......really just his desk. i found modeling glue (no, he's not building anything) and a few of my Sharpies. *sigh* i removed them.

later on i had a conversation with him about it. i wasn't mad. i just reminded him of the brain-damaged guys we saw on Cops who had been sniffing spray paint and how fried their brains were. i realize that he could just get better at hiding stuff but he seemed to get some real warm fuzzies when mom stepped in and intervened.

Answer 9

You keep her away from her cousins for the time being, to start with.

You *don't* scream and yell and throw a fit. That will only escalate things.

You talk to her calmly, and let her know you're really disappointed in her for making that decision, and the reasons you're disappointed.

You make her face consequences, like being grounded. You also tell her that if it happens again, the consequences will be much harsher, and she may have to talk to a counselor if it continues. Be sure you are consistent, and you follow through.

While some people don't believe they work, writing a contract where your daughter is allowed certain priveleges - such as being allowed to spend the night with friends, being trusted instead of having to be checked up on, being able to borrow your car from time to time when she's old enough to drive - as long as she abstains from alcohol, tobacco, drugs, etc. Providing a clause where she can call if she needs you, regardless of time, and you will come get her, no questions asked, is a good idea - it gives her an out from bad situations that have the potential to become worse. Both of you sign it, and keep it somewhere visible as a reminder of this. You be sure to uphold your end of the deal as long as she's upholding hers.

You also need to have a talk with her cousins, and explain to them the ramifications of both providing alcohol to a minor (even if they are underage themselves, whoever is the oldest is the one that gets in trouble), and of underage drinking. Let them know that giving your daughter alcohol was not appropriate, will not be tolerated, and next time you will notify the authorities yourself. Follow through.

I really hope this helps.

Answer 10

Depends if she drank it or not. Or how much she drank.

Answer 11

It sound like she is under age and you don't allow drinking. Good for you. Well, I guess she will be grounded, doesn't get to hang out with cousins until she gains your trust, car and phone get taken away, and not friends over. Pick one or all, then prepare to have a guilt trip. Stick to your guns. Good luck.  

Answer 12

my father used to whoop my @ss with his belt.  

guess what... I usually straightened up.

Answer 13

If she is under 18 then I would say ....You should put her through like one of those D.A.R.E classes....And then not allow her to see her cousins for 3 or 4 months.......Then you should ground her for like 2 or 3 months....Like No TV or computer(Unless its for a project and you shoul supervise that...No going out after school and no phone...) I know it sounds harsh but if you want you can limit those things for certain amount of weeks or days and all of it can add up for 3 months

Answer 14

I guess it would depend how old she is.

Fact is though the majority of teens will experiment with drugs, alcohol and s*x.  There's nothing you can do about it apart from turn off the caps lock and learn to deal with it in a rational and constructive fashion.  Freaking out won't help anything.

Answer 15

how old is ur child?  talk to her about drinking how its harmful... alcohol can damage your lung make sure she knows that...  talk to the parents of the cousins that she was drinking with aswell let them, know what their children are up to...

Answer 16

If she is 18 or older, nothing, she is pretty much on her own, just hope you raised her right.

Answer 17

you need to have a long talk with her. sounds like she is underage, so sit down and talk about the dangers of alcohol abuse and misuse.

Answer 18

Calm down and take her on her own, sit and talk with her, offer her your support and understanding, let her know she can come to you when she needs to. We have all done stupid things when we were younger. Understand her.  

Answer 19

Laugh at your child and turn it into a big joke. With her or his breakfast put a beer bottle and a glass. At diner a shot of vodka and at lunch a glass of rye and laugh and be happy. Whatever you do don't make a scene. It works she or he won't do it anymore. You can invite the cousin also. Get his Mom on the joke also and have her laugh at the table with them over the meals. That'll turn off their drinking urge.