TTC performance nightmare???

Question

Ok we've been trying since Jan and my doc recommended the clearblue fertility monitor. This is the first month I've used it and so we discussed the necessary days to do it, not that different from before, except a computer is telling us. So my hubby had performance troubles yesterday morning. Not a huge deal other than it was peak time. So we tried last night and no joke his ship sank as soon as it was time to perform. What gives? I am hoping its a mental thing, but it is horrible for him, and worse really hurts my feelings. I can't stop thinking he isn't attracted to me. We've had a good s*x life to this point but now he can't perform??? He's 33 and we have average 3-4 times a week. Any ideas? I don't want to parade in the s**y if he isn't going to give me any. Also, now we've missed two good times for our opportunity this month. How do I deal and how do I get him back in the game?

Answer 1

Maybe he is feeling a little 'performance pressure' - I would just let you take care of mointoring your ovulation, and don't tell him what days specifically the computer says is your best time. If you know in your mind which days you need to BD - then those days you need to get him in the mood. It sounds all mental on his end, and the OPK is adding some stress. You watch for the big O, and then just have fun with hubby. Good Luck!

Answer 2

tell your hubby to try a blue pill you know what i'm talking about if that doesn't work then tell him to go see a urologist they can really see what's going on but always try to encourage you hubby that it's gone be ok we are going to find a solution and trust me it going to work out and God will bless you and remember this Jesus will fix it just pray about it

Answer 3

It's because he is under a lot of pressure to get you pregnant and it's a lot of emotional stress.  Can you secretly do the monitor and not really tell him the "peak" days that way he's just doing to doing it and he doesn't feel so stressed?  Good luck to you with TTC

Answer 4

It may be the pressure of concieving that has caused this, it would not have anything to do with you. He could be thinking about making sure you get pregnant, that you are ovulating and it has to count was too much, causing him to be unable to perform. My partner has a similar problem. He has absolutely no trouble when it's just s*x, but when I said I am ovulating we need to be having s*x now it takes him longer to 'get it up' and sometimes it won't even stay up the entire time!! It's a mental thing causing by the pressure of having to perform.

Answer 5

You've got to take the pressure off procreating. Make it fun, and don't even speak about having a baby. He needs to know that you want him, not a baby (even though you want both). My husband had this problem sometimes until I just had to stop talking about having a baby. I know he still wants one, and he knows that I do, but we don't talk about it. I have lots of "friends" on discussion boards that I can talk to about my signs and symptoms, and he doesn't have to hear about it!

Answer 6

It happened the same to me. I had a plan scheduled to have s*x every other day from CD8 to CD18. That was about 5 times. The first two times everything was good, the third time he complaint that this wasn't fun and he didn't feel like to do it, but he did now the fourth time that it was CD 14 he couldn't i got really upset and he tried but it was awkward and i was so upset that I didn't work.

If I don't get pregnant this month next month I'm not telling him anything I just going to get all s**y and freaky and do it. Bc all the planning is a passion killer.

Answer 7

This is crazy. This happened to me today. However, limp, he was still able to make a deposit. At the time he kept acting like he didn't want to do it. Later on tonight, he said that its hard to perform on demand. I can understand that. I guess next time I will try and make it a little more romantic. Its just hard because I have a job to do and I am totally focused. It has nothing to do with attraction. Mine thinks I treat him like a performance monkey. HaHa. Try the parade. It may help him get into a little more. Also, try giving him a little pleasure to get his juices flowing.

Answer 8

are you putting a lot of pressure on him?? that's the only thing i can think of, because sometimes guys do that when they are stressed or pre-occupied,  maybe you should focus on making this about him and you and not the baby you want.  I know what it's like to want a baby badly!! I'm still waiting as my DH said he doesn't want the birthdays of our children together (grr) anyway, making take time out for him, get him excited you should know what he likes and what he doesn't, most guys though are pretty simple, mine is I know that!! But i sure know how to get some when i want it ;)  you just have to kick back, maybe the monitor is messing with his head, i think my guy would have a problem trying to perform if he had some computer telling him he had to.  Good Luck and Baby Dust ;)

Answer 9

"Baby making" pressure can put a strain on the best of performers:)  I would have a conversation about the issue when it's not baby making time.  By having this discussion when it's not time for him to make his deposit, he may not feel pressured to talk and then perform right away.  If you express your love for him and remind him that your love does not depend upon his "performance", this may provide the reassurance he's looking for.  

Also, I stopped telling my hubby when it was "baby making" time.  He never knows when were are practicing or trying for the b!  I think that took a lot of pressure off of him because he can assume we are just practicing every time!  Good luck to you!

Answer 10

He is 'obviously' NERVOUS!

Preforming on 'que' isn't easy.....it can do things to your head.....it's not s*x for sexual gratification.....it becomes a job (TTC)

Good Luck!

Answer 11

just have s*x every other day...don't worry about it either...you will get pregnant when it's your time. It's not abnormal to try for a few months, I'm sure your going to have that due date. Also, you husband may just be warn out...try not pressring him into s*x for a baby. Do it cause you love each other.