TTC#2...well we were supposed to be!?

Question

i am really confused at the moment, i have wanted to have another baby for over a year,( we have a goregeous 2yr old boy) my partner wasnt so sure, with money worries and everything, and also with everything which has been going on with the housing situation with mortgages, as our house is two bedrooms...anyway he mentioned it a few months ago that we should have another baby, as you can tell i was all 'yipppeeee' .. i had a m/c in may, we wernt trying but i think this made him think about a new baby....since then we have been having s*x as normal,my periods have been a bit off since we started tryin so i got ovulation strips.. the problem is, sometimes when we have s*x he pulls out!! somedays he says we should get pregnant next year so we can move house, and other days, like today he has said, shall we make a baby tonight!! i have spoke to him about it and some days he would like another baby and other days he thinks we cant afford one ( we can easily as i work and hes in a law enfocement job) i would say he has doubts and then he doesnt, but this is starting to put a strain on me and i think it is what are making my periods 3 weeks late at a time, shall we just stop trying until he stops changing his mind, if i got pregnant now he would be over the moon, its just whilst it hasnt happened yet. has anybody else bin in this situation?

Answer 1

I would suggest stop trying, but don't prevent.  The stress could be what is keeping you from getting pregnant.  Try www.twoweekwait.com  there is a forum for I am ready, he is not.  You can talk to other people in your same situation.

Answer 2

hello, yes i have in november, i came of the pill, my bf and i of 6 yrs decided yes were ready his 25 i was 23 coming up for 24, then 3 weeks later he decided no he does not want to try well this came as a shock, then we used condoms wen my period was due i was 2 days late and had a nregative result then i just put it down as maybe i have not ovulated as i was on the pill for 10 yrs, so i just carried on with my days, still using contraception, then jan 23rd thought this is not right done a test and low and behold i was pregnant, he was not happy however it happened so i told him to deal with it, how ever at my 12 week scan there were no fetal heartbeat in niether baby they died at 11 1/2 weeks i was by the doctiors oppinion 13 1/2 weeks, i had to have a d&c it did break both our hearts, then we tried this june fell end of june miscarried naturally this time on the 2nd august.we both wanted it this time,

i think with men they do like the whole new baby thing but money is tight, he needs to tell you yes or no, as this stress you could fall then miscarry which is the worst, we have had s*x un-protected this month today is my date for af, but still no sign yet, so fingers crossed.

i think maybe say to him you either do or dont, if you dont i'll back on the pill, you need to know where you stand, its not fair for him to change your mind goodluck hope you get the baby you so much long for, lots of us have been and is in your situation so dont feel your alone take care of yourself stacey xx

Answer 3

My first was conceived after married for 3 years and we were more financial stable (both of us working). We migrated from Malaysia to Australia when DS was 18 months & we did not consider for no. 2 for 3 years as we were looking for jobs, saving up & setting ourselves here in the foreign land. Now that we have stable income, we dicided for no 2. My point is to have no 2 when you are both really ready as once you are pregnant, you cannot reverse the process.  

Answer 4

oh that must be very hard one min he wants to try next min he decides next yr...i would ask him for his honest opinion and have a proper decision. as you say he would be over the moon if you fell so just try and sort out the doubts that he has and you should find ttc alot more enjoyable and strain free. hope u get ur bfp soon x