Taken advantage of.... advice please?

Question

my cousin droped her 3 month old daughter off this morning around 10. she first called and asked if it was okay I agreed. it's now 5:30 and she still hasn't come to pick up her daughter. I have called her and got no answer on both her home phone and cell phone. I left messages of course asking when she was coming to get her but no response. I'm trying to be patient but I told her that she had to be back by 3 because I have plans. now not only is me and my family late to where we where invited but she didn't pack enough formula and diapers. my husband went to the store and got some of course (luckily we had the can so we got the right brand) but my question is what should I say to her? I can't bring her with me because I don't have a car seat for her. she made me late and I had to buy things for her child. I'm so mad any advice on how to apporach this when she does arrive?

Answer 1

I UNDERSTAND YOUR ANGER SINCE THIS HAPPENED TO ME IN THE PAST. USUALLY WHEN  A MOM OF A NEW BABY DOES NOT PUT HER CHILD'S NEEDS ABOVE HER OWN  THERE IS A PROBLEM.I'M SURE RIGHT NOW YOUR FRUSTRATED AND STRESSED OUT. WHEN YOU COUSIN COMES FOR HER BABY AND HOPEFULLY SHE'S OK AND NOTHING IS WRONG. YOU MIGHT BE BETTER OFF JUST  HANDING THE BABY OVER TO HER AND SAYING YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ARE  VERY  LATE AND YOU HAVE TO LEAVE. .IMMEDIATELY WALK HER TO HER CAR.AND SAY GOOD BYE.  THAN IN A DAY OR TWO GIVE HER A CALL AND ASK HER WHATS UP.BE POLITE AND LISTEN ,SEE WHAT SHE HAS TO SAY. BUT MORE THAN LIKELY SHE WON'T HAVE A GOOD ENOUGH REASON FOR LITERALLY DUMPING HER BABY ON YOU WITHOUT IT'S  NECESSITIES.IT'S PROBABLY A GOOD IDEA TO SAY NO NEXT TIME SHE ASKS OR BEGS OR TRYS TO TALK YOU INTO BABYSITTING FOR HER AGAIN.MY HEART GOES OUT TO THE BABY GIRL.BUT THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT THAT.SHE'S NOT YOUR CHILD.

Answer 2

I would tell her to pay you back want you had to get for the baby. Since she had ruined your plans she would need to find a babysitter to pay to watch her child when you have plans.

Answer 3

well hopefully she comes back, and when she does ask where she has been, and that you've been trying to call her what if her daughter had been hurt? Let her know you will no longer be watching her daughter family or not, because you will never no how long you will be watching her for....good luck

Answer 4

I would find out where she was first of all. Then, I would let her know that you had to buy formula and diapers. Also, tell her that you cannot babysit for her if this is going to happen again. I mean, what if something would have happened to the baby and she was unreachable?

Answer 5

Well, as long as she was not involved in some kind of accident or happening which caused her to be late, I would tell her exactly what you told us....and if she seems "flippant" or unaffected then the next time she asks, you have to say "Sorry, I already have other plans."

Answer 6

say what's on your mind !!

whatever you think you should say to get the point across to her.. then just say it .

don't worry if it sounds a bit mean becuase she freeking used you .. and it's the lease you can do back to her lol

and if you are nice about it ... then you wont get the point across to her becuase she won't take you seriously.

Answer 7

The next message you leave tell her you hope she is safe because you are very worried about her and if she does not get back to you by 6 you are calling the police.  See if that gets her to pick up her messages.  When she gets there ask what happened to her and say you were very worried and by the way I spent $12 (or whatever) on formula so you know whenever you can pay me back.

Also let her know that her disappearance made you late for your thing and that when you leave your Samantha (your 3 year old) with someone else you are ALWAYS reachable by cell phone so what happened?

If she has a valid reason let it go. If not tell her you cannot babysit for her again because you cannot have her come hours late and not be able to get in touch with her.

Answer 8

Wow that's really messed up, I would tell her that I don't appreciate her behavior and don't ask me to watch her for you again. The never of her to treat your family and her child that way.

Answer 9

I would first find out why she was late and why she didn't at least call me.  Then I would tell her how irresponsible she behaved.  I would expect to be paid for anything I had to buy for her child.  I would also be worried about how responsible she is when the child is with her.

Answer 10

First, be sure shes ok before anything else. Then let her know shes taken advantage of your kindness and have made your family late for your plans. If you would still like to sit for her in the future , let her know that but that you feel like you cant trust her  and that the two of you need to work on it. If this is her first time doing this, forgive her and try to move on.

Answer 11

i would feel the exact same way. but first of all i think itd be a good idea next time for her to leave the car seat with you even if its a pain to get out. what if there was an emergency or you needed to bring her somewhere with you and you had no otehr choice? thats not your fault tho she should think of that...

also i think you should mention how you told her before she dropped her off that you had plans and were supossed to leave by 3 and now you couldnt go, also mention how since she wasnt pickin up and stayed out alot later then she told you she would, you had to go out and buy more diapers & formula. if she apologizes and has good reasoning dont stay pissed. sometimes **** happens. if shes kinda bitchy about it just say okay and know next time to say you cant youve got plans SORRY!