Taking a child with learning/ behavioural difficulties out of school?

Question

What are your opinions on taking children with learning/behavioural difficulties such as diagnosed Aspergers and Autism out of public schooling to homeschool? (Obviously only if this is an option for the family).

We have been facing this very difficult decision of late after an Educator suggested we take our son out of school. (He had his own personal agenda for this request). I have already made my decision on the matter, however I am interested to know what the consensus is about this subject?

Answer 1

Everyone has pretty much said that the school is repsonsible to give your child a free and appropriate education, and i would take it to teacher's supervisor that the teacher made the remark that your child be taken out of the classroom.  1. That is a lawsuit waiting to happen (right now it is your word against his so next time there is any conversation have a third party (witness) there.  2.  It was very unprofessional and that teacher needs to be reminded of his job-- teach children.

OK... my concern about pulling an autistic/ behaviorally challenged student out of the school system lies totally in the area of social skills.  Austic kids on any level of the spectrum, need social integration.  They need role models, they need real situations, they should never be expected to live their lives without other people, and they need the practice interacting as much as possible.  The children at school are a whole lot more accepting of differences, then those adults in the real world that your child is going to eventually have to face.

I am a teacher of students with special needs.  (notice the student comes before the special needs!!)  They are people first.  People who are going to grow up and want to go out to eat, shop at Walmart,  eventually get a job.  They need to learn things like taking turns, asking instead of demanding, realizing that just because the room is too loud doesn't mean they are going to get hurt.  Things like this are practiced and learned in a school setting with children that will grow up and accept these children and their "differences".

I take my students on a lot of field trips and it is amazing how getting on public tranportation can be frightening and even traumatizing, at least for awhile, but eventually they learn that they can be safe here.  Ordering a meal from McDonald's can be very scary.  (as well as telling the cafeteria people what they want on their tray.)

I would advise not taking your child out of the public school system if at all possible.  They need these important social activities to practice.  But these very special kids teach those normal kids (and maybe some grown ups as well...we can hope...)  some very important lessons as well, tolerance for differences, patience, unconditional friendship.

I know it is hard when you feel like your "baby" isn't getting a fair shake at school.  But maybe if you stand up to the school system, they will look at the bigger picture and your child will have an oppurtunity to get a teacher that loves children unconditionally and wants to teach the children and not just get a paycheck.  

Good luck and I hope everything works out they way you want.

Answer 2

Most, if not all, schools  do not help these type of children. Even though the special ed law IDEA states that these children are to be taught/helped by 'highly qualified and trained in the childs disabilty' teachers, it is rarely ever done.

The reason for this is because there is no enforcement to make the schools follow the laws and they know this.

I would say homeschool would be the best choice.

Lots of people say public school is best, but these people do not know the damage that schools cause for these children.

You could fight the school people and let him stay, but it would not be worth it because as you can tell by this teachers statement to make him stay home.

This one statement in itself is proof that they don't want to help the children.

NO ONE can say they CAN"T do this because of lack of money.

First of all, IDEA law states that it is illegal to withhold services for lack of funds.

Second, if a school says they 'cant' help the child (they will NEVER say they WON"T) they are to find some way, some one who WILL help the child and not just drop the ball.

Most schools put these children in classes with

the  'behavioral' problem kids, which is nothing more than bad babysitting.

So many people (and teachers!) say these classes  are horrible for these children. Because, there are kids in there who are even worse than yours. There is still bullying going on in these classes as well as out in the rest of the school.

Answer 3

I am shocked that the teacher would suggest this. Your child deserves to be educated with his or her peers, but, this has to be a personal decision based on your family beliefs, etc. I don't know your child, but do know that the educational team should be working to ensure that your child is given the opportunity to benefit from learning and social situations provided within the school setting. The structure offered at a school setting can be beneficial to students with Asperger's. I do think that homeschooling is a personal choice, but hope that if this is your choice, the school (district) is still working to provide services in some way. Best of luck.

Answer 4

there is no consqenunces if you and the school feels like the best decision is to take you child out of school so be it.

my step bro has aspergers and autism to and he is now homeschool because 1.) he is mentally retarded. 2.) he kept getting into fights with other people at school.

so there is no consequences

Answer 5

This is so hard and I'm in a similar boat. While no-one should be forced to take their special needs kids out of school there are reasons to do so. If the child has nothing in common with his peers, can't do the work his classmates does, is teased and bullied, is isolated and not thriving then I say they are better off in a different environment. That could be home, or that could be a special ed school or a school with an ed centre where he goes for certain subjects.

It's fine to make a point - if it's for the good of the child.  And it is the school's responsibility to cater for that child. But if the child suffers through that decision then it's the wrong one.

Good luck, I hope it all goes well for you and your son.

Answer 6

I believe that leaving the child in school is an integral part in their future. I work with autistic/aspergers students and a HUGE part of their education is interaction with other students. Many will tend to isolate themselves and possibly even regress if taken out of a social environment. You do have other options, such as changing school districts. In many areas, it is mandatory for your school to transport your son to another facility where he can get better care. If you do choose to take him out of school, please make sure that he gets tons of interaction and social time, because it's so important to his development! Remember, one "sucky" teacher doesn't speak for them all! The teachers I work with are absolutely amazing and I couldn't imagine a better environment for our students! Good luck!

I wanted to add: if you choose to keep in school, look for a school with autistic-specific classrooms. I agree with what other people have said, that generalizing these disabilities isn't very beneficial. I work in a 6:1:1 classroom and our children do extrememly well, and the parents are pleased with their advances.

One more thing :-), don't choose a school that has adopted the "no child left behind" philosphy, your son should be given the materials, help, AND time that he needs to achieve his own personal best.

Answer 7

You have many excellent answers here, I do agree with them.   I think the bottom line is for you to make your decision based on what is best for your child. BUT.......

Many people have stated that your child needs the interaction of the school environment.   I doubt that.

Asperger's kids need quiet, controlled, one on one teaching.  Their education plan should be tailored to meet their needs.  I doubt the public school can provide that.

Self esteem and bullying are real issues for these kids, more so than other kids.

I sent a child to public school for 12 long years who fit the Asperger's profile.  He went from one special class to another, was bullied, and at times felt suicidal. (that is the social interaction people talk about kids needing)  He had poor impulse control and was targeted by the other kids.

Educationally it was a disaster because even if he knew the work he was unable to produce it in the format required.  He suffered through 12 years of h**l.    Now he is my biggest supporter as I home educate his little sister who has similar learning and behavioural problems.

I said to myself 20 years ago: "I pay my taxes, it is THEIR job to educate my children."  Boy, do I ever regret that decision.  I homeschool my children now. and my older public school (non)-educated children are my biggest supporters.

You are your child's advocate and you know your situation. Do what is best for your child.

Answer 8

Your question is not an easy one.   Only you know your child and what's best for them.  Being in school and out  have good points and bad.   You may make mistakes while choosing what's best.  That's ok.  That is how we learn.  Don't be afraid to make to mistakes.   That is the only way we figure things out.   Sorry, but there is no one right answer.

I know its hard, but do what you know is best.  And I think you already know what that is.  If that doesn't work then try something different.  We are only parents and do not always get it right.  Go with your heart.

Answer 9

The school is obligated to teach your son and I think wanting to take him out of school is a cop-out for the teacher.  My son is autistic and everytime he acted up or had a fit at school, the teacher would call me wanting me to come pick him up.  Finally after many many years trying to fight the school to get him a better education but without success, I started homeschooling him myself( I have a teaching degree) and it has made a big difference.   I'm glad I did it though because whenever he was in public school, he would come home freaking out scared to go back to school because other kids were being mean to him and nothing was ever done about it.  If you do decide to homeschool, the school is required to pay for it.  I'm sorry you are going through all of this mess.  I delt with it before and it's not easy,  Hang in there:))

Answer 10

Hi Nat,

My son is 4 and was diagnosed with autism last year. My husband and I will not be sending him to school. He will be continuing RDI therapy with my husband, myself and our consultant, and when the time comes he will start focusing on academics as well. We found a place that specifically teaches children with disabilities to read. We have also found an association of parents who home school their children with autism. We will join this organization next year instead of entering kindergarten. This organization will provide the opportunity for our son to socialize. This organization is a grass roots operation started by parents. Start spreading the word that you are thinking of homeschooling and you may find many others who are doing the same. Yahoo Groups also has many groups of people homeschooling children with autism. Join a few, mention where you are from and you may find much information for your area.

If you cannot find an organization in your area, there are many other ways to socialize. There is Boy Scouts, your local church, swimming lessons, gym class, karate etc What ever your son enjoys there is sure to be an organization, unless he is like my son and is really into Kelloggs cereal boxes :).

All the best to you and your family

Answer 11

Don't take the child out of school.  The school is required by law to provide appropriate learning conditions for all students.  If you insist on this for your child(?) they must comply.

Answer 12

I have 2 autistic spectrum sons ages 7 and 33m.  My 7 yo is serviced in a full inclusion reg. ed classroom.  There is a balance as to what is best for the child.  It is important to be in school for the social skills and interactions.  If the school setting is so bad that it is detrimental to the child's emotional health you should pull him out.  It does change from year to year with different teachers but it is always an uphill battle.  I would exhaust all options before pulling my son out but have recognized very early on that that is probably happening at some point in his future.

As far as being an autism expert any parent with an autistic spectrum child that has been living the disorder right along with them going to therapies, reading books going to meetings is certainly qualified as an expert in my book.  I took my oldest to Kennedy-Krieger (hospital known to specialize for autistic spectrum disorders) and they said you want a job here?  I find that I know more that lots of specialists and I am certain other parents do to.  I have spent the past 5 and a half years educating myself about autism.

Answer 13

I would have to say that taking your child out of school may not be the best idea unless you are an Autism specialist and feel that you have the skills to manage your son 24 hours a day and are able to help him develop into the best person that he is capable of being.

I think it is inappropriate for an educator to tell you to take your son out of school and homeschool. If he is in the public school system, the school must provide services or pay for a school that will be able to address his difficulties most effectively.

I think that the principal or superintendent of your school should be made aware of this comment and a discussion needs to happen about what will and will not be done for your son in the school system. If the answer is unsatisfactory, I would lobby hard for a placement at a specialized school.

Depending on where you are in the country, there are many fine schools that do incredible work with this population and families see changes in their children that they could never imagine.

I do think it is outrageous for an educator to ask you to take your son out of school without offering you alternatives. It crosses the line of professionalism and possibly the law. Your son has the right to access education whether it is with extra services in the school or funding for another.

Good luck, this sounds like a very difficult situation.

Answer 14

00000I have a son -in-law with the very disability as you mentioned. He is today a Dr. of Philosophy  very smart about the things hes studied on but about common sense he has none. I think it's a discusting thing that so called educator  told you your child should be school and with other children too. My son-in-law has always been a avid reader, he was treated very badly as a child but he came out of it  better than I think a quote un quote normal child would I guess every person with this problem  is different, you know like different levels of learning ability.  but they should all be treated the same meaning equal.  April

Answer 15

dont take them out

answer mine:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...