Talking to a friend about another person we both know. Etiquette q?

Question

We both have a common friend...rather acquaintance. I don't like this acquaintance much so I keep my distance and am just on cordial terms with her. Now this friend of mine keeps asking me what I think of her. Is it ever OK to be honest and say something negative about the personality of another person, and would u term it as *gossip*? Or is it best to not answer or just be vague and generic?

I just feel a bit weird talking something negative about another person. I don't want to influence another's views either. At the same time I want to be honest and genuine to my friend who asks that question. he is a good friend of mine.

So how should one handle it?

Thanks guys.

Answer 1

Just be honest without being nasty or gossipy. There's definetely a difference. It's all in how you word it and what tone of voice you use when you say it.

You may also want to tell your friend that you rather your opinions are kept away from the ears of your acquaintance.

Answer 2

You are right, do not gossip, it is a bad habbit especially if you do not like the person who ask you about someone...

Sometimes gossip is enjoyable, especially talking about magazine but it is not true for this situation...

Hide your opinions to yourself!!!!!!!And say dierectly " I do not know her, so I do not talk about her.Let's talk about...."and change the subject.

Answer 3

you can tell her how you feel but don't dwell on it!

i personaly think staying  vague is key!

if she asks just say something

Oh yeah, we have butted heads a few times!  i feel it's best for us to keep our distance!

that way your not pointing fingures at her by using WE BUTT HEADS and you state that you think it's best to keep distance!

that way they can't turn in around on you saying well she never said she didn't want to hang out!  you can just remind them " okay but i'm the one who wants to keep the distance" sorry!

Answer 4

Just let her know that this other person is not someone you are close to, or care to associate with, so you cannot really comment on her. You don't have to elaborate - it's really a good sign of your character that you chose not to slam someone.

Answer 5

It happens that we don't like certain people and also we will experience in life that not everybody likes us.. but I don't believe in talking behind a persons back.. that's gossiping and backstabbing and it might prejudice the other person.. if you give her your opinion about this friend. so just say.. Oh, I don't see her much... I am sure she has her good points, I really don't hang out with her a lot so I really can't tell you, why don't you go visit her..  that way you can form your own opinion..'' I would say something along those lines... but definitely not ever gossip behind a persons back if i like them or not.. xx