Talking to your therapist?

Question

I am having a hard time talking to my therapist. I have issues that I need to deal with but find it hard to get in there and start talking about them. I was diagnosed with PTSD* I can't even remember what that means and at first I thought the psychiatrist said STD. He saw my shock and then told me a little about it and told me to research it on the web. I was also diagnosed with anxiety and ADD. I also have some issues with relationships regarding my fiance, mother, father and stepfather. I feel like I go in there and talk about the weather and how my weekend went. We are not talking about my feeling and problems I am having. I need help to understand these things. I have been horribly depressed lately and my meds don't seem to be working. I started cutting and abusing myself when I was about 12 years old and have done it for over 29 years. I know it's wrong and horribly embarrassing when someone sees it. I am in so much pain and I feel like there is no hope. I am not getting any help from my therapist and I have no one else to go to. What is therapy supposed to be like anyway?

Answer 1

I'm with you. I too have spent many sessions no talking like I need to (yeah, the weather, blah, blah, blah...), but know that since no one ever asked me about me, or listened to me, or thought what I said was important, that talking, especially when I am sharing what is in my heart, or asking for help, is absolutely the scariest. It takes a lifetime to undo what it took a lifetime to damage. So, I focus on why I am there and not on pleasing him or making myself into who I think he wants to be listening to. It helped me when he said one time that the only time he has difficulty in our relationship is when I don't talk about me, when I don't tell my truth.

Taking it out on ourselves (I did it with drugs, alcohol and still fight with suicidal thought) is NOT WRONG, but soooo normal. I think everything is my fault, so I have to pay somehow and that ends up by doing something self-destructive. I hate the diagnoses. I am a human being, and have things going on and do not fit into one diagnosis any more than you. It is a sign of hope to me that you are talking here. I supplement my therapy with a free group at the local hospital's psych unit. It is a frigging full-time job practically, dammit!!

The meds are a struggle, finding the right balance. I have been in this fight all of my life. My therapist is also my psychopharmacologist, so that helps the work of trying to plane out with meds since he sees me twice a week and tweaks the meds according to my reports.

Therapy is having the full attention of a person who loves their helping job, who is non-judgemental, caring and there for only you. Good luck. You are not alone, and you are not doing anything wrong!!

Answer 2

PTSD = Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.

There is no specific scenario to the way therapy is supposed to be. It's meant as a safe space that you can discuss things on your mind, big or small, and this should help you work through things that you otherwise have a hard time working through on your own.

Sometimes it can provide relief to vent, and therapists are there to support, not judge you. That means that whatever you are sharing with them is confidential and that they will help you work through it, not tell you what to do.

You could try just mentionning to your therapist that you don't know where to start. If you don't know what to expect, ask them what their own expectations are and how they normally work with clients. If you feel up to it, without going into issues, you can simply mention what you just confided here on Y!A and say that you're not sure if you're ready to get into the hefty stuff yet. That's perfectly ok.

Remember, if it doesn't click with this person you have the right to change therapists. But give them a fair chance and see how things go after a few sessions before you make up your mind.