Talking with an 11 year old about cleft lip and palate...?

Question

Tomorrow, I will be having a discussion with my 11 year old daughter about her new soon-to-be baby brother. We recently found out that he has a cleft lip and palate. What are some good ways to explain this to her?

Answer 1

your about to have a baby brother and im sorry but your going to wish he wasnt

Answer 2

Check this site out...

http://raisingchildren.net.au/articles/d...

There is a book that I read to my kindergartners about disabilities and diversity... But your daughter has probably seen other children with abnormalities... Ask her if she has seen kids that are different from her, discuss that with her... Tell her that they are the same on the inside as she is...

Answer 3

I think that at 11 they are old enough to just have it medically explained to them. Tell her that it doesn't hurt him and that the doctors can fix it.

Tell her what to expect it to look like so that she isn't surprised, but make sure she also realizes that he is beautiful no matter what.

Our children are a lot samrter than we give them credit for and understand a lot more than we give them credit for.

As a mother, I am sure when the time comes the perfect words will come to you.

Good Luck...and I hope your little one makes a joyous entry into the world.

Answer 4

just explain to her that her little brother is going to be special, that god chose him to be with your family because he knew yall could be a great family and treat him the way he deserves to be treated. It will be good and itll make him appreciate things better! god bless and thanks for answering my question!

Answer 5

An embryo develops from one cell that divides multiple times, and comes together in two symmetrical (identical) halves that fuse as a baby develops. Sometimes the two don't come together and fuse properly, resulting in a cleft. Explain that there will be a separation in her baby brother's lip and there will be an opening in the roof of his mouth that allows you to see into the sinuses of his nose. Emphasize that he is special because he is different and not to be afraid of the way he looks, and that he needs lots of love because it will be difficult for him too. Make her aware that he may be a challenge to feed and that he will have special needs. Mentally preparing your daughter now is a wise choice. She needs time to adjust to what lies ahead. The defect can be repaired surgically, and it typically takes several to correct it throughout growth and development. I wish you the best!

Answer 6

Explain to her how things didn't grow exactly right.  Perhaps find some pictures online of how cleft lip and palate look and tell her that although he may not look exactly like the photos, that's essentially what is wrong.  Tell her that once he has surgery, he will look just like any other kid, (He will!) but that at first, he will look different.  If she's 11, she's old enough to read about it and learn about it and be supportive.  Good luck to you!  And kudos for explaining this ahead of time so she's not shocked by his appearance or anything.

Answer 7

might want to think about the surgery, I'm not sure how much it costs.

Answer 8

Maybe you can google pictures of kids with abnormalities and make a slide show of them mixed in with pics of kids that have no abnormalities.

For each picture you can focus on how each kid is different and then explain that her baby brother will have cleft palette.

The pictures should be used, but the explaining everything might be a little unnecessary depending on her own cognitive level.

Answer 9

Sorry for the nasty answer you received from that person, anyways if I was in your situation I would go to the bookstore and look for something that your daughter can read, then tell her. 11 year children are very smart and at this age they are very compassionate, it will be much easier than you expect, and the hospital you deliver at should have a social worker or something of that nature that will help you out alot take advantage of those opportunities they help out ALOT.

Answer 10

explain to her that while his mouth and face were growing they did not finish growing together right. He has kind of  a hole in his face and on the roof of his mouth. show her pictures so she will not be shocked when she sees him. Let her know that it makes things hard for him, but that the doctors will be fixing his lip and mouth as soon as they can.