Teacher/Student Friendship?

Question

I have a special relationship with my sixth grade teacher (I'm in gr. 8) and I went to the funeral when her dad died and we talk about life and personal things and are kind of friends. Is that wrong? What constitutes an inappropriate relationship between a teacher and a student? She called me a couple times over the summer to see how I was doing and I went to help her sort through some stuff in her classroom. Would that be considered inappropriate?

Answer 1

That doesn't sound inappropriate. She's not your teacher anymore so basically, the relationship is not inappropriate unless it's sexual or unless you are uncomfortable with it.



If you are uncomfortable with it then perhaps you could tell your parents and ask them to speak to her about it. Otherwise though, it sounds like she just cares about you, enjoys your company and wants to look out for you. It's a good thing!  

Answer 2

It would be if the teacher was a man.

Answer 3

it sounds like a good relationship. i would only question it if you or she was interested in more than a platonic friendship.

Answer 4

That's fine, as long as there is a line.

I am a sixth grade teacher and had a special relationship with some of my students who are now older. I still keep in touch with them and speak to them from time to time. They came to my wedding, etc.

As far as I'm concerned, it's all right, as long as your parents are aware and approve of this relationship. Of course, if it gets physical or makes you uncomfortable in any way, you should tell your parents and stop the relationship.

But if you gain from it, and your parents know and approve, there's no reason not to take advantage.

It's often helpful to have an adult in your life who isn't a parent or a relative.

Answer 5

id say that all sounds ok.

If she turns out to be g*y and into you, then maybe worry, but id say its good that youve become friends with her etc.

Answer 6

Nah, just don't cross the line. This would mean you going over her house while she is still your teacher.

Answer 7

From what you've said, I don't think it's an inappropriate friendship.  If you feel safe with your teacher friend, and she is not asking you to do things you feel uncomfortable with, then I would say it is an appropriate relationship.  A teacher-student relationship is inappropriate if the teacher is using her status as a teacher to manipulate or persuade you to do things you do not want to do.  It's also inappropriate if she is using her status to introduce you into an "adult" lifestyle when you are clearly not an adult (e.g. alcohol, drugs, etc.).

You can develop a friendship with a teacher but it is important to remember that as long as you are a student, you are not peer equals. So, you probably wouldn't invite your teacher friend to your best girlfriend's 15th birthday party, for example.  And your teacher friend wouldn't likely invite you out for drinks on Friday night with her other teacher friends.  Either one of these kinds of behaviors, and others like them, would make it an inappropriate friendship.  It sounds to me like your friendship is clearly within these boundaries.  Sometimes, after many years have passed and teachers are still friends with their students -- who are no longer students -- they do become great friends and peers.  

Your situation doesn't sound all that strange to me.  Not all teachers are ogres.  :-)