Teacher as a best friend?

Question

Okay so I had a teacher who emails almost daily. I am 15 by the way and have a hard time making friends and only have a few. When I found out that this teacher I had also had the same problem I felt sorry for him. The other kids and teachers are mean to him and abuse him and the school admins do nothing about it. I loved being around him and hes so nice everytime he emails me he always says how much he's going to miss me. I mean this teacher even gets death threats just fyi. I think it was nice when sometimes instead of health or study hall I hung out with him. He said he wants to take me out to dinner sometime. On the last day of school he gave me a hug and I am a guy as well is that wrong? Would it be wrong if I went out to dinner with him and went to his house?

Answer 1

It is absolutely inappropriate.  And no doubt about my answer.  This is something you don't want to hear at 15 but you have a lot to learn.  An older person can easily take advantage of you in many ways.  A teacher should hold himself above any the normal standard and having a private relationship is wrong and he should know it.  Most schools will fire teachers that put themselves in this position.  There is a reason for that.  Have you asked yourself just why this teacher is trying to endear himself to you?  OK, he has told you that you have some similar problems.  So what!  At fifteen you are learning how to meet people and have relationships, friends, what have you. That's normal.  But an older man. . .and you don't say how old. . .is way past that stage of life.  He should have friends his own age.  Why doesn't he?  Answer that one and you will understand why you shouldn't be anywhere near him.  I wouldn't trust him any further than I could throw him.  Someone older is at a different place in life than you are and you need to wonder why he needs to befriend someone with much less life experience.  My very best advice to you is get as far away from him as possible.  Stop the emails and the chumming hugging.  You need to tell your parents and someone at your school.  If the relationship is so appropriate, then it would be ok to tell everyone.  But it isn't and you will see the reaction of people when they find out he has approached you.  My best guess is that he is a predator of some sort and he is trying to lure you into more than you are ready for.  Sweetie if you can't see the danger in this man, then it only shows your inexperience.  He deserves to be fired and lose his teaching certificate.  Work on finding friends your own age and growing up appropriately.  You have been warned about him so LISTEN. . .

Answer 2

The previous answers are exactly right on point.  You need to stay away from this man.  And, if he tries to get near you, you should threaten to inform the school administration and your parents. Then, follow through with the threat.  You will be saving yourself a lot of trouble if you cut this relationship off at the pass, and the sooner the better.

Answer 3

I thin kthis level of friendship between a teacher and student is inappropriate and should not be encouraged.

If you were my son, I would not allow this friendship.

You can go to dinner ONLY if your parents are invited too.

If you care for this teacher then do not continue this friendship - you can be friendly, but he is not your friend, if you continue then the Admin will pull his teaching certificate, which I am sure you don't want to happen.

Answer 4

I know I'm not much of a person to say this or anything.

As long as you know that he isnt out to harm you, then I would say that you are "all good".

I'm a student as well, and I've looked up  to several of my teacher. He probably wants to be your mentor.

Does he hide this particular friendship when you are around other people?

good luck

Answer 5

You are 15 and underage, and he is an adult. It is the duty of the school admin to protect you. Perhaps this teacher is a pedophile; they don't want to take any chances in case of a future lawsuit on your part. It becomes a case of your word against his, and would more than likely lose his teaching certificate. It may be a very innocent relationship between the two of you, but, believe me, somebody somewhere could turn it into a nasty situation to get rid of him. If the other teachers are mean to him, one or more of them can create a really bad scenario and then he's out of a job.

Keep the two of you out of trouble. Don't go out to dinner with him and then back to his place. Be friends with him at school and on school grounds, but leave it there when the school day ends. When you are 18 (or legal age in your area) and if you've maintained a friendly realtionship with him, then, as an adult, you are free to make choices appropriate for you. Let him and you be safe and away from any suspicion of others.  

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Answer 6

Unless you have known this teacher before he became a teacher, stay far away from him outside of the school building! He needs friends his own age, and not students. He can get counseling on his own. he does not need a kid to counsel him.

Answer 7

Sounds weird to me, especially the hug part.  Guys don't hug other guys, unless they're g*y.

He wants to get too close to you.  Why is he letting you skip class to hang out with him?  That's wrong.  

It seems like you're lonely and are enjoying the attention.  But, it's not normal for a teacher to miss a 15 year old so much.  

If his intentions are truly good, then he should be keeping his friendship with you more professional.  Daily personal emails are too much.  

Answer 8

Awww. Well I think it's sweet. Everyone needs a friend.

Answer 9

Unless you want to have s*x with this man, I would suggest you stop any further contact, he is a predator and you are his prey.  Look around you, how many adults do you know that make friends with children and take them out to dinner.  The school obviously recognizes his behavior as wrong, because I promise you they have seen it before, and they will see it again, you cant have a school without at least one pervert in the mix.  Please stop any further contact, you are to young to be exposed to such deviant sexual behavior, you have the rest of your life to be exploited.

Answer 10

that sounds really...strange...why does an adult teacher want to have a friendship with a young, 15 year old student? I'm a teacher and I couldn't imagine having a relationship with an underaged student of any sort. I think you should talk to your parents and see what they think. I remember we had a teacher similar to yours who was teased by other students and a total outcast. He befriended a student and the two ended up having a g*y relationship that ruined his career. :-\