Teacher situation...I'm really angry?

Question

I already posted a question about this yesterday but, I need more opinions.

Yesterday my 7 year old daughter got into trouble at school for calling another girl "fat". The teacher made my daughter apologize.

Now I know my little girl better than anyone else and she would never willingly say something like that. I am overweight and she has seen how other people's comments can hurt.

I questioned her about it and her defense was that this girl was bullying her. She was kicking her around the playground and being annoying. I believe her on this because when I went to go pick her up at school, I saw the girl stealing my daughter's hat off her head constantly.

I explained to my daughter that she should have went to the teacher first and told her that this girl was hurting her. Her explanation was that she couldn't because the teacher would call her a tattletale.

I asked my oldest daughter if this was true because she had her as a teacher the previous year.

Continued...

Answer 1

you sound like you have a good head on your shoulders. I agree with not confronting a child that is not yours. My daughter gets teased sometimes. I just tell her to say "whatever" to whoever is teasing her and walk away, and continue to do this. Eventually, the bully will get the picture if she is not responding to the bullying and quit doing it. This has worked so far, I am sure I will encounter a time that it does not work and I will have to address that when the time comes. Suggest this to your daughter. That way, she is not responding with insults the same way the bully is, and she will be taking the "high road" by not stooping down to their level. I hope that helps, sorry I dont have and more suggestions for you.

Answer 2

Like you said there is only 3.5 weeks left of the year so i wouldn't send her. say its an early holiday. i would  write the teacher and the principal a letter for the reasons and then hopefully your child gets a better teacher next year and if not i would find another school.

Teachers really don't listen to children at all. My bro got detention because the teacher accused him of tipping water over his head because it was wet however my bro had spend all of lunch playing soccer and was sweating a lot. It just runs off of him.

i think your concerns are definitely valid.

Answer 3

do you know other parents whose children have the same teacher? Do they have the same problem? Two families complaining is more effective than one.

Answer 4

Well first of you should talk to the principle one more time and tell her that you feel very unsafe of letting your child go to this school knowing that if she has a problem she can't even tell a teacher because they will do nothing but call your child a tattletale. Schools are suppose to be safe because you can not be there for your child all day long and it is the teachers job to help and protect the children under every circumstance. Than after that you might want to talk to the kid who is doing this and even the parents. Because every bad behaviour comes from the parents! And make it clear to the child and the parents that this is very wrong and unacceptable and you as a parent don't want your child to go through this ever again because she does nothing wrong to the other child. And you might want to tell the principle that if any child gets really hurt in the future and it becomes there fault they can get in a lot of trouble for that by the law! Schools are suppose to be safe and with there bad attitudes they are making it really unsafe! Also illegal! You might be helping a whole bunch of kids by saying something not only your own!

I hope this helps!!! =)

Best of Luck to You!!!*

Answer 5

call the superintendents office ..not the principal ,,not the teacher. She will get REAMED ! By LAW every student is entitled to an education free of violence . And it is the teachers duty to maintain a peaceful healthy environment for learning . She is a negligent teacher for not addressing childrens concerns when they are saying they are bullied. There are BULLY LAWS now.And she is a lousy Teacher for calling kids tattletale and mocking them that way . thats demeaning and makes a child feel helpless and insignificant.

Answer 6

First of all, I know why teacher's tell kids not to be tattletales. Imagine every child in the classroom coming to you every two minutes about every little thing <those of us who are parents will get this about how kids can be tattletales> No teaching would occur. I do not think what she did is right but I can see why she would do this. As far as confronting her on another issue, if you confront her only choice is defense. Teachers have to deal with all kinds of parents and if she has been a teacher for a while she may be hardened to listen to your complaints. If she is new she may feel insecure. I feel you should tell her you have a concern that this other girl is picking on your daughter and could she help you out by keeping an eye out for it. This way she doesn't feel attacked and will perhaps listen to what you have to say. Sometimes, teachers unfortunately punish the wrong child because they can only correct what they actually see with their own eyes and not take children's word for it. She may have only seen what your child did not what the other child was doing. If you witnessed what was going on, then try taping it <video, camera, phone> and showing the teacher or principal. Just be careful because your kids do have to go to school there and getting on the wrong side of teachers can make their lives miserable. Good luck.

Answer 7

i think the teacher really over reacted to punishing your daughter for calling someone fat. maybe the teacher reacted to it because that is a very sensitive thing. i know what its like to be called fat and it really can bring me to tears sometimes. i understand that kids will be kids and the hat taking off thing is just how kids are.  honestly, if your daughter is in no extreme physical danger, save your breath.

Answer 8

That's a tough situation, especially the fact that the principal is not seeing your side of the story or the other children at school.

We always teach our kids to trust the adults in their lives, and then stuff like this messes them up.

Although the principal didn't listen.. do what I have always been taught.. There is always someone higher up you can speak to or preferably write a concerning letter too. Perhaps the school board?

Kids have it hard enough growing up to be bullied or teased at school, especially by the teachers.

Answer 9

Is this her class teacher? If so I would say you should speak to your principal about this and see what she says. It may be she will take the side of the teacher because she has to protect her staff. Though she may make life easier for your daughter.

It is sad that teachers aren't always fair and your daughters will have to learn this. But as the school year is nearly over, it might be beneficial if your daughter could just try and keep a low profile and you didn't speak to the teacher. If she gets bullied she could tell you or maybe go to the principal directly.

Answer 10

Talk to the teacher about your daughter being bullied. If that doesn't work complain, in writing as well as verbally, to the principal.

Answer 11

My daughter is 8, my son is 7. They have had so far their own issues about calling other kids name's too. You are right. Teachers and Principals usually look the other way, make those implicated sit in their office and "think about what has happened and apologize to each other." Don't get frustrated or angry, as you said, you lose "breath" over it. Let them handle it now, and I taught my kids, how to "fire back" without using words or fists. Next thing you know, your own kid, will ask you to have a "playdate" with the child that she/he had a fight with !!!!!!!! Kids can be cruel, but don't necessarily "hold grudges" as adults do. That's the beauty of children, still. Good luck !

Answer 12

Your daughter should never pick on a person because "they started it" she should be a big girl and ignore it. If the girl continues she should tell the teacher. As for the teacher, she need to explain to the class the difference between tattling and getting help. Tattling is "he's looking at me, make him stop," kind of thing. Asking for help is "they are hitting/hurting me and won't stop". I understand the teachers point of view, you have 30+ kids screaming at you all day and most of it is for BS, but they need to be listen to not put down, because one of the voices may need help. I would talk to the principle about this. Let them know the kids won't go to her when others are bullying because she will embarrass them by calling them a tattletale. It is unacceptable for a teacher to say anything mean to a child, much less in front of people. To a child calling them a tattletale is about as worse as it gets.

Answer 13

I know you say the principal backs the teacher 100% but I would still go talk to him. And i would probably tell my daughter to do back exactly what is done to her. And then if the teacher tells her off just explain to the teacher she has to stand up for herself because she can't come tell her because she will be called a tattletale.

But the principal should care about the bullying even if he has to back up his teachers. Maybe go to him about the bullying, not over the teacher. Leave the teacher out of it and explain how upset your daughter is because she is being beaten and kicked by this girl. They have a legal obligation to deal with bullying.

Answer 14

If your daughter is calling her so called bully fat, one would presume shes not afraid of her or being hurt by her in the least. I find it very hard to believe that this girl is hurting your child, it sounds more like the girl is trying to be her friend or something, i mean stealing a hat off her head isnt exactly bullying. Parents are always inclined to believe their kids are such angels, but theres 2 sides to every story, and your daughter might not be telling the whole truth. Have a talk with the alleged bully yourself and get to the bottom of things.

Answer 15

Bullies do this because the have self esteem issues. They dont bully ppl their own size, only smaller ones.  They know a confrontation will occur if that will happen, so they stick to small ones.

Your daughter did what a smaller person would do-use her smarts.  She defended herself with words and not with punches. I think that is the only thing a smaller person could do.  If the teacher and pricaple arent listening, then the only thing your daughter could do is continue the name calling.   Hopefully the bully will stop.  

Tell your daughter to call her: LardAs$, michelin man, fat f#ck,...

Tell your daughter to ask her: Hey my bike blew off a tire, you have many spare ones on your waist, can i borrow one?  Hey fatas$, in a hot day, how much sweat is there between your fat?.....things like that