Teacher with romance problems!!!?

Question

I am not nosy, but my teacher and I are somewhat friends. He openly talk about things and we don't hesitate telling each other secrets and whatever. Just to let you know, THERE IS NO ATTRACTION BETWEEN US. But he has problems.

He's about 36 and his fiancee left him last year. All he wants is to be married and have children and I think that's his biggest dream. He's ashamed to tell students how old he really is (he indicted to me how old he is) because he's scared they'll laugh at him for being 36, childless and unmarried.

Another one of my teacher is 24 and she just became a teacher. She is really nice and she has a huge crush on him. She made a pass at him right in front of me! He seems to ignore that she likes him and he doesn't really flirt with her that much. He's sort of being a real grouch right now because he doesn't have what he wants. Honestly, the one person I could see him actually getting married to is my other teacher (24-year-old one).

Answer 1

i agree with everyone who has responded so far.  It is very unprofessional for your teacher to discuss his personal life and problems with his students.  you are there to receive an education, something that is very valuable.  his personal life should not brought to work with him. also the 24 year old teacher who made a pass at him in front of students needs to control her actions and if she chooses to pursue him do it in a more personal, respective manner.

Answer 2

I couldn't agree more with Just Thinking.  Your heart sounds like it is in the right place, however it is VERY inappropriate for your 24 year old teacher to make a pass on the other teacher in front of you.

Also, it's great that you have a good relationship with the older teacher, yet he needs to solve his own problems (and/or seek advice for them), and you don't need to worry about playing matchmaker.  He is putting both you and he in extremely vulnerable positions, probably even more so himself.  

As a teacher, I would advise you to be polite friendly and respectful to these 2, find ways to keep yourself out of their issues, and concentrate on what matters most in this stage of your life: you!

Answer 3

This is way to personal for a student to know or be involved in. Let him deal with his own issues and be careful that no one misunderstands what is going on between you or it could be his job.

Answer 4

At 24, she's not too young to have a family unless she thinks she is.  Many people don't want to date their co-workers, he might just be trying to be professional.  She'll probably be fine, women our age usually understand when someone we like but aren't terribly in love with aren't interested.  I'm sure she has a life outside of the school.  Don't worry about her.

There's nothing you can really do to help him get over his lost love, because, as you said you are a student/friend and getting too deep into that would be a little weird and kind of creepy.  I'd leave that one alone because really, the only way it will get better is if a) he moves on and finds someone else

b) they get back together c) he takes some time and realizes that it's OK to be by yourself for awhile.

You can't show him any of these things.  Make sure your friendship feels safe and comfortable for you.   I know you said there is no attraction, and personally, I think it's good for people to be able to talk to those of all ages and genders, but you need to really make sure that this is something that is OK.

Answer 5

I appreciate your empathy but stay out of it.  As a student your teacher shouldn't be overly personal or discuss details about his love life.  Just talking to you about it can get his career in trouble.

Being ashamed of being 36 and single?  That's just plain weak... I hope he's just on the rebound.  If that's the case, he's a big boy he'll bounce back.

Answer 6

mind your own business and find friends your own age.  a 'teacher' who confides in a young student isn't being professional.  this is a huge red flag.  maybe this is the real reason his fiance left him.

Answer 7

sweetie, don't worry about that... and please do not listen to the particulars of your teacher's life.  that is personal.  even if he's offering to tell you, you need to find something else to do besides talk to him all day.  He's your teacher, and y'all should talk about school- related tasks.  nothing else.  I you have an issue, talk to your counselor or a female teacher.  I know you're just trying to help. but don't worry bout his probs.  trust me.