Teachers: Sometimes there are people we simply don't like. Do you ever feel that way about a student?

Question

How do you deal with it? Do you feel like you continue to treat them fairly throughout the school year?

Answer 1

Yes.  I've been teaching for 30 years, so of course there have been students I haven't liked.  However, as a professional, I have to be sure that they don't sense that, so I usually go overboard to give them as much positive attention as possible, be pleasant to them, etc.  After all, if I always acted on my feelings, I would have been fired years ago, I'm sure.  It isn't only students I haven't liked!

The good thing about being pleasant to the students I haven't liked is that it very often gives me a chance to change my mind.  The student who is initially snarky and nasty may apologize later on and tell me what was going on in their lives to make them so unpleasant.  I find out things about students that may change my initial negative feelings toward them.  Not always - some people are just horrible, and there is very little I can do about that.  But at least my negative feelings aren't complicated by guilt over saying or doing negative things toward them!

Answer 2

This past year we had a kid that really no one liked.  He had no friends, and was a real behavior problem.

I found out towards the end that his mom has had bone cancer for 10 years, and is in bed 5 days of the week.

We are called to love everyone, but we don't necessarily have to like everyone.  Some people are just unlikable.  We can still show love to these people by treating them with respect.

It's unrealistic to believe that all students are likable, and that there is always something good in everyone.

Answer 3

Oh wow.  Yes.  I experienced this a lot this year.  I try and be as fair as I can and I try and go out of my way to be helpful and positive.  I have one student who I KNOW hated me and it was really, really hard to be nice to her because I am pretty sure she is the most evil 17 year old girl I have ever known.  I just have to remind myself that she's only 17 and that she will probably be miserable her entire life.  That somehow makes it easier to be nice :)

Answer 4

There are always going to be students that you don't like, in general, however it is very important to find what you DO you like in those students.  Make extra effort with those you don't like!  I am proud to say that the kids I don't like are NEVER aware that I don't care for them, and are often the first to hug me or tell me how much they love me!  A very wise teacher told me when I first started teaching to always remember that "the ones who are the hardest to love, are the ones who need it the most."  I always keep that advice in mind, and it totally helps me to over-come the negative feelings I get toward the students I don't like.

Answer 5

As a teacher I do not dislike any of my students. I find SOMETHING about them to like. There is always something :)

Answer 6

An interesting idea might be to look at *why* you don't like them.

Are they a "shadow" for you? Shadow is a psychology term for when you see your own dislikable traits in someone else. You then project your own dislike and anxieties onto them. Look it up on wikipedia.

Is it something in their behavior that you don't like? Something in the way they talk? Even something in the way they look?

If you analyse exactly why you don't like them, you might find it is unfounded and it will make dealing with them so much easier.

Either way, treat your student's equally. Don't pick on anyone. It can destroy a persons confidence.

Answer 7

If you feel this way I really hope you have the courtesy to hide your feelings. There is nothing worse for a student than to walk into a classroom and know the teacher dislikes them. Students lose any chance of ever liking the subject. This kind of behaviour sends students grades way down and the student is blamed for that.

Answer 8

I think it is only natural to like some students more than others. I teach middle school and some children have such a negative attitude, it is hard to look through that shell to remember there is a child under there!! It is easier to like a student who has enthusiasm for learning and treats me with courtesy.  While I may like some students more than others, I do my best to treat all of them equally and feel I succeed pretty well!  All students have something about them that is "likable"...everyone has some positive trait to focus on--I think that is the key.

Answer 9

Of course. If you teach long enough there will be a personality clash between student/teacher (maybe parent/teacher)and of course, a teacher chooses to respond in a professional and fair way.  I always tried to remember that the students who acted the most unlovely usually needed love the most.  I also tried to separate the action from the person.  This is all part of being a good teacher. I am a retired public elementary school teacher being honest.

Answer 10

My chem teacher this year tries to treat students as fairly as possible, but sometimes it just doesn't work. I know for a fact that she does not like me, and some other students feel this way about themselves as well. And this has made me completely lose interest in the subject whatsoever. It's not pleasant, but some teachers just can't hide the fact that they dislike a student. And some teachers definitely play favorites, but it's only best if the student looks past that and goes on. Some students are disliked for no reason at all.

Answer 11

I am a prestigious student and I have to say that this is really rude.  I don't think you should be a teacher.