Teachers: can they be friends too?

Question

I hear some people say that teachers should be strictly there to teach their students what they need to be taught. But what do you think about students becoming friends with their teachers? Do you think it is right?

Personally, I have made many great friends who are teachers over the years. Of course, I still respect them as adults and as former teachers. I have been inspired by them completely. I don't know where my life would be if I didn't have these former teacher/friends by my side.

What do you think?

Answer 1

I see your question as having two parts.

First, I think teachers that teach hoping to befriend the students (of which there are MANY) are not approaching their work appropriately.  It is human nature to want to be liked by others, but it makes for a poor teaching method if you care if the students like you more than if you care if you are TEACHING them.  

Now, can students and teachers make lasting connections through mentorships and friendships?  Absolutely.  I have a former college professor who is a close friend.  I had a teacher in middle school who helped mentor and guide me in decisions independent of school.  I think healthy relationships can most definitely be formed, though one does need to be wary of relationships that begin with someone who has more "power" than you.

Answer 2

Teachers first and foremost should be there to teach their students what they need to know.  Having said that, there is something to be said about the relationship that a teacher has with their students.  Students need to know that their teachers care about them.   Students will listen better if they know that that their teachers care about them.  If there is a mutual respect, a lot more learning is taking place.

However, the teacher still has to be an adult.  There are fine lines that can not be crossed.  Teachers have to remain professional, but if they do, I don't see why it would be wrong for a teacher and a student to be friends.

Answer 3

While I think that your friends can teach you things and a teacher can later become a friend, I don't think it's a good idea for your teacher to befriend you while they are still in that authority role.

For instance, when I was in high school, i remember our gym teacher was very young (like 19) and she was very close with three seniors in our class. They had all grown up together and their parents were all teachers at the school.

She used to favor them and let them sit around in their regular clothes polishing their nails and gossiping while the rest of us ha to wear our gym uniforms, do pushups, sweat and run around the field. The three seniors were also really mean to us underclassmen.

I absolutely HATED her because of her favoritism as did the other students. Students began to complain to their parents who complained to the school.As a result, she was fired.

Answer 4

I think it's absolutely wonderful that you've become friends with your teachers! I personally have two teachers that I look up to and am very fond of. They both inspire me a lot and make me WANT to do more than my best in their class.

I believe that as long as no professional lines are crossed in the relationship and you still respect them, then it's spectacular! Good for you!

Answer 5

I agree with the comments on professionalism.  I think while a teacher is still your teacher, you should not be friends, as this could bleed over into the in-class relationship.  At the college level I think this can be ok, but not at a secondary level.  

It's great that you have teachers that have become friends, and I don't see anything wrong with being friends with a teacher later on.  I teach middle school, and I have kept in touch with former students (and some of the HS students I worked with in my student teaching, who are now in college), and value those relationships.  I have a MySpace and Facebook, but I don't allow current students to be my friends there, since I am my "real" self there, rather than my "teacher" self.