Teachers-- do the parents of your students ever act like they are your boss?

Question

I'm having this problem, and was wondering if any other teachers experience it? If so, how do you deal with this? Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

Answer 1

Yes!!  I have had that problem before and the best thing to do is to stand up to them (not rudley) and tell them. I had one student a few years back that never ate his lunch and so his parents came and blamed it on me saying i was the one not telling him he had to eat his lunch and i calmly said to the mom " i cant make you son eat thats not up to me i am not allowed to forece him if you have any further questions please speak to the principal". They immediatly went and the principal said almost the exact same thing and at the end of the week that child was transfered schools. But i still have my job and am top teacher in my school.

Answer 2

ALL THE TIME ! ! !  Be courteous, but frank when you deliver the message that their child isn't "getting it" because....and give the reason.  If they still want to act tough, give the student the grade they deserve, don't be threatened.  YOU know who pays your salary.

Answer 3

Can a librarian answer? *g*  I run into the same thing, mainly from parents who can't accept that it's not my job to do their child's homework for them.  All I can suggest is that you learn how to keep smiling, but keep the iron in your backbone.  You have a job and it's not the parent's place to tell you what it is.

Answer 4

I've had that happen even with the parents of college students (a lot of that is because they ARE paying the bills).  Try to remain calm and polite, but firm.  Make it clear that you have objectives and a plan, and it is not up to individual parents to set the agenda.

Answer 5

They do all the time.  They also like to tell me how to teach something, and I'm like:  Hello...who is the one who went to college and has the college degree...

You just kind of agree with them to make them happy, but you don't actually have to do what they tell you to do, b/c it's your classroom and not theirs...

Answer 6

No the parents are not your boss, you do not serve them.  You are there to serve the needs of the student.

I have had some rough parents in my years as an elementary teacher and I usually smile while I cuss the parent out in my head... just kidding.  

Seriously, I listen to what the parent has to say, I try to paraphrase when they finish, show them the papers and other documentation I have about their child and then I ask them what their expectations are.  For example,

Parent: "Johnny is an A student. Why is he getting a D in Math?  You are giving too much homework and you don't help him enough in class.  I need you to stay after school to help Johnny."

Teacher: "So what your telling me is that you are concerned about Johnny's grade in Math.  Let me show you some of the papers Johnny has done in class lately.  Also I think it is important to note that Johnny has been talking a lot and not really paying attention during class.  I think that if Johnny would listen more and put forth more effort his grade would improve.  As far as staying after school to help, I am unable to do this at this time because.......(give a reason).  I am however willing to help Johnny one on one during class if he participates more, listens more, and still does not understand. Is there anything else you feel would help?"

Usually after showing the parent the documentation and showing them that I understand their concerns they back off.  Sometimes no matter what you do the parent will always act this way, and when I have a parent like this I do not meet with him or her unless their is an administrator present.

Answer 7

They will try, but it is important that you show them that in your classroom you are the boss.

If they are not satisfied, with what you are doing, tell them calmly but positively that it is within their right to talk to the principal.  This assumes of course, that you know that what you are doing is the right thing and that the principal will be on your side.

I did that once and it just took the wind out of the sails of these parents.  They never did call the principal and they did not bother me anymore either.  

Good luck