Teachers want to keep my son back in grade two?

Question

He has learning difficulties associated with a traumatic birth, where he was saved from being stillborn. Due to the lack of oxygen to his brain then and again at 9wks when we nearly lost him again due to pertussis.

A psychologist and paediatrician have diagnosed this.

He gets teased, and has been since reception, its very sad. The other kids don't understand him, he's never been invited over, or to a birthday party and he is dropping into a depressive state at 7yo. I just want him to be happy, not a lawyer!

My question is should i support the hold-back, or challenge it (from a social point of view, not educational)?

Answer 1

Promotion is not remedy it*s a means to an end. If your child has not mastered his present grade it would not be prudent to promote and add to his stress. This in my opinion would be a hindrance more than a help. All the best for your son and you no matter what your decision.

Answer 2

Keep your son back.

If the kids are teasing him now it will only get worse in grade 3. A year back may give him the advantage he needs.

You need to figure out what kind of support your son needs to be able to succeed in social relationships. Here are some questions to ask yourself:

Does you son approach other children appropriately?

Does your son respond to other children's approaches appropriately?

Is he capable of sustaining a friendship?

Does he takes turn when playing back and forth games or board games?

If the other child is not having fun, will he adapt his play so the other child will remain interested?

Does he pretend play?

Does he have a sense of humor?

Be honest with your self, and ask yourself what does your son do that causes other children to tease him? Does he just not "get it"?

If you think this is the case, please consider having him re-evaluated. He could have developmental and social delays that have not been addressed. Find out what his social and academic weaknesses are and start finding the right supports for him.

Look into programs geared for at risk kids who need help socializing.  

Answer 3

my daughter was held back in second grade because of a dyslexia. i have never regretted holding her back. i think it is good for their self-image when they can keep up with the class is every way even maturity level. i was also given the option to transfer her to a another school close by. i believe that helped as well and you might consider that as well    

Answer 4

It would seem better to support the hold and have him repeat the grade. He should do better academically, and this will help to boost his self-esteem; and also get him out of the class with most of those who have been bullying him. This benefits both social and educational goals.

Have you considered any after school programs as well? He sounds as though he could use a program for other children who have developmental or other delays. Here, he would be on level ground with the other children and may be able to make some friends.

Best of luck!

Answer 5

I would have to agree allowing him to stay behind another year might be a good thing.  Why not invite some "new"  grade level friends over for a play date? Make bonds with the parents so that they at least feel obligated to invite your son.  Keep working with him academically at home, too.  Best wishes.  

Answer 6

It might be better if you let him be held back. The point of school is absorb and learn. Your son just might need that extra help to get him up to the level of the other kids. Children are cruel and your son will probably be teased but keep in mind that his education is far more important than winning a popularity contest at school. He actually might be one of those kids who bloom when they get to a certain age, so don't despair. Have faith in your son and don't give up on him.

Answer 7

this question is not for me, you, or any1 else to decide. you have to ask YOUR SON himself about what he thinks of this and what HE wants to do. its his decision. talk to him, get his opinion, and support him all the way. if ur son wants to go onto the next grade level, then spend more time to help him with his school work and tutor him. be patient with him and help him get better. tell him he has to make a commitment for this to work. but if he doesnt care and wants to repeat the grade, encourage him to do his best. tell him not to be afraid. TALK TO HIM AND DO IT BASED ON HIS DECISION.

Answer 8

He likely qualifies for Special Education services based on the birth story you have provided - if there is medical documentation of that it would be needed.  

Does he have an IEP or something equivalent?  What sort of direct instruction does he get for his Social Deficits - he will NOT pick those up on his own - he needs to be taught that every bit as much as math or reading.

I don't think that holding him back if he is not getting the support he needs is very useful.

Answer 9

Actually, from the social point of view, it might be better to hold him back.  Another year of second grade might give him the chance to catch up, both educationally and socially.  The social aspect might be a big part of the suggestion from the teachers to keep him in second grade.

It would also be better to keep him in second grade rather than to think you can do it later on if it doesn't work.  The older children are, the less apt it is to help if you hold them back a year.

Also see if you can move him to a different school if you do decide to keep him in second grade.  The students will be more receptive of a 'new kid in school' rather than one that was kept in second grade.

Answer 10

I was held back in 2nd class for dyscalculia but didn't realise until 6th class that i had it. But it really doesn't help if the child stays back because in the school i'm at now it helps people like that and it works by the level of the child and if the work is to hard for him they'll but him on to easier work but i wouldn't advise him to stay back i'd ask him what he wants to do and if he doesn't want to then i think you should get the teachers to get him books that is at his academic level, If you want more information about the school. Or if you want help email me at the following email address: [e-mail]

Hope I've helped

Good Luck

From

Lisa

Answer 11

If he is behind academically, you should probably consider it so that he doesn't continue to fall behind.  One thing you should ask your school, is if he can get an IEP.  It is an individualized education plan that varies with each student with special needs.  With an IEP, allowances can be made for special circumstances, such as extra time for testing, additional help in areas he may need assistance in, etc.