Teaching my kids against the grain in order to make myself look better.....?

Question

an answer I received last night said as much, but it really doesn't make much sense to me. Generally going against the grain and the majority of society makes you an outcast open for ridicule. If i wanted to make myself look good wouldn't I be trying to follow the rest of the world and do things with a minimum of fuss and attention?

Answer 1

Could you give a little more background information?  I cannot refer back to a former question.

What does counseling children have to do with making yourself look better?

As for "going against the grain", is it against your moral principles?

If so, it would not make any sense to forget your personal code of ethics.

Answer 2

What specifically do you mean?  Techniques for raising kids can barely be encapsulated by a few Yahoo Answers.

Answer 3

It's not about you. It's about what is best for your kids. By going against the grain you are teaching them to think for themselves and that they have control over their own lives and the decisions they make. Sometimes it's good to go with the crowd and sometimes it's not. Your kids need to learn to think for themselves. There are consequences to the decisions they make that they need to think about. If they are nice and good kids then they won't be an outcast. Some kids are bullies and it doesn't take much to get their notice or attention. Bullies try to ostracize others so teach your kids to stand up for themselves.

The U.S. is a diverse place. Your kids need to learn to think for themselves so they can protect themselves and learn to make better decisions. Going with the grain doesn't take any brains or intelligence. It is what lazy people do.

edit: Some people are just out there or crazy. If it's just someone on the internet, who cares. So much can be lost in the translation so to speak.

Answer 4

tooshay to sahara! i agree with her

Answer 5

I've read some of your other questions. You seem pretty cool to me.

I NEVER let anyone tell me how to raise my kid. Don't get me wrong. I'm always looking for tips from people with more experience. I definitely go against the grain, probably in a more subtle way than you do. :)

For example: I have never taught my daughter to 'be a girl'. I'm teaching her to be a person. If she wants to pickup bugs, I help her decide which ones are safe. If she wants to play with the big kids. I stay near by but I let her do it. I never deny her any experience that isn't dangerous. If she asks me a question I answer it. I just try to word my answers in ways she can understand. I hate the idea that she might ever think that she can't compete against boys or that race or class or appearance matters at all in daily life. I don't want to suppress creativity either. She wears what she wants most of the time. She draws all the time. She's tall for a 4 year old and smart. So most people think she's 6.

I get worked up sometimes when people baby-talk to their kids or tell them stuff like "Because I said so." (Ok. I use a variation on that, but its nicer and only when its an emergency or something she can't understand yet.) I can't stand it when people talk down to my kid. If they do, I usually translate whatever they just said into English. Both to help my daughter understand that giberish and to let the speaker know that she's smarter than that.

People should treat their kids like people not pets. When people talk down to their kids, they're not helping anyone. We're not raising kids. We're raising future adults. I don't think you're doing anything wrong by teaching them to think outside the box as long as you also teach them where the box is and make it voluntary. If they want a mohawk, find, but no mandatory mohawks. If they decide they want to dress like everyone else, they should have that option too.

Keep up what you're doing. Just try to make sure your decisions are based on raising better adults and not just for attention. Go for it!

Good luck!

Answer 6

i agree