Teen has little respect.?

Question

I have a 16 year old daughter that i was somewhat strict with her while growing up. Meaning there was always the questions.(example, where, with who, phone numbers, spoke to parents, early curfew, etc..) Gave her the freedom to be herself 8 piercings, hair shaved, mohawks, chelsea hawks, all black clothing, etc.. That wasn't enough, I trusted no drugs , we talked about it, she lied, even thou i said if she needed to experiment please do so in the safety of home. Not my 1st choice. Past those issues. No more lies but I let her have her friends here, I buy the food, (went thru 3 cases of soda in 4 days, i didn't have 1) the toliet paper, pay the bills (we live in san diego county) i pay it all with no help. I make 8.20 an hour, drive a 92 mazda, etc... point im trying to make is, she does nothing to help!! Shes at a rave in hollywood as i type. How can i get the respect back?

Answer 1

You are the mother of your child. Some children rebel against their parents. From what I get from your writing is you are a single mother. I praise you for working hard to keep your daughter happy. Her rebellion could be coming from her lack of a father figure. I could be wrong. There seems to be a lack of authority within your household. Try to talk to her about how hard it is for you and explain to her that you are trying to respect her space but desperate times come for desperate measures. I know you love your child, but sometimes you also have to think about your well being. Have you talked to her about her future, what she wants to do. Come up with common goals you guys would like to do together. I wish you luck.

Answer 2

Omph, that's rough.

Well, the simple solution, no more money. If she runs away, then you don't let her come back.

Of course, first have a talk with her, a serious talk, use all of your weapons, treat her as you would treat an enemy, as you would treat someone who wants to ruin your life. Do it. It'll hurt, but don't show it, don't cry it, don't care if she makes a tantrum about it. Make HER have a job for a school year and take ALL her money away, at least for a month, take it away by making her pay part of the electric bill or I dunno. If that doesn't work, the very day she turns 18, on her birthday, throw her out, with nothing but the clothes on her back.

It might seem a little harsh, but frankly, you weren't being strict, you were/are being an awesome mom, seriously, so take no bullshit whatsoever.

Answer 3

I'm 19 years old right now. My parents were the exact same way with me.... UNTIL i got arrested for entering a vehicle and taking... now im serving 3 years probabtion... my parents freedom combined with my thoughts of me being invincible got me into this mess... set your daughter straight.. i now dont do any drugs, nothing bad at all, and just want to make my parents happy for what i put them through... maybe your daughter would have to go through something similiar to get what i understand now!!

hopefully you read this. good luck

Answer 4

Put your foot down and tell her she needs to listen to you. FOr crying out loud, your her MOTHER! I can't believe how ungrateful she is. Tell her she needs to show you some respect- after ALL the things you've done for her that is how she's going to act. She's growing up and she'll get hurt in life if she continues acting this way. Since she's so dependent on you you need to tell her you won't always be there when she needs you (college or when she older and you've passed away). You're a hard working person and she needs to show you some love pronto.

Answer 5

STOP! Don't let her leave the house or do what she wants until she does what YOU want her to do! Trust me, you weren't too strict when she was growing up. You should see what I'm going through lol, but anyways, YOU are the parent/adult/mother/rulemaker, NOT her!! Put ur foot down! Good luck =)

Answer 6

stop enabling her to be a drug addict ..Im a cool mom , herb is fine on wknds, if grades are good and I am respected ..I dont let them run wild at raves which are ectasy land. I dont allow tabacco or booze or any drugs. There friends cant come in MY home and run a muck. At 16 I'd say its too late to turn back for you ..Pretty stupid to let her do drugs "in your home" ..are you trying to kill her ? Do you think its ok? You are setting her up for a lifetime of rehabs, and mental problems.

Answer 7

That's not strict in the slightest bit and don't let anybody tell you that it is.  

You'll get respect when you stop letting her away with stuff and actually teach her what respect is all about.  

Hide your portions of food where she wont get to them.

Answer 8

THINK !!! Don't make a rule that she knows you can't enforce. Don't s***w up and set a limit that she'll violate and then she'll know you're powerless. Find something you CAN enforce and do it. You need a show of strength now. If you manage to make her think you have control then you can start using more of it. You're going to have to DECIDE what you will do as a last resort. Work backwards from that. When you make a rule that you can enforce DO NOT BACK DOWN for ANY reason. When you decide what your last resort will be you'll know that you hope it doesn't come to that - it might. Help her get a job. Tell her she's going to have to start helping you a little financially. After all, she'll be leaving home soon. You're supposed to be preparing her for that. Stop doing her laundry. Stop fixing HER meals. Stop cleaning HER room. Convince her that you CAN AND WILL let her go if she forces you. Don't act all broke up about it. Make her realize that she has to win YOU back.DON'T BE THE VICTIM!