Teen problem from a mothers veiw?

Question

ok i will keep this short as poss,

i have a 13 yr old, she has a friend also 13 who has a 17 yr old aunt who is pregnant and lives alone in a flat, she invited 5 13yr olds to a sleepover at her house, i absolutley denied her going.

i am now the most hated person ever and a completley overprotective mother in her eyes.

(she is lucky her dad is not home at the mo).

why would a 17 yr old want to hang with 13yr olds????

am i overreacting?????

Answer 1

I think that you are right and made a wise judgement about not letting her go.  To me, I think the 17 year old aunt would be very irresponsible and pregnant at such young age.  So ya, you made a wise decision.

Answer 2

well the 17 year old cant be all that mature she is probably the "cool" aunt to her neice because the small gap in age..(when i was thirteen I knew 17,18, 19 year olds as well cuz I was in highschool at 13years)...but you did the right thing cuz she might have let them be a litle too free and who knows what could have happened...your daughter will get over it eventually. Dont worry you werent overreacting..continue to keep your daughter safe she will understand later in life.

Answer 3

No, you're not overreacting.

It is your job to be the Most Hated Person Ever.

I should know.  I have been named Meanest Mother In The World a few times myself.

All the best and welcome to the sisterhood.

Answer 4

yea thats kinda strange..ur being a good parent... i cant understand why a 17 year old wud like to have 5 13 year olds staying over..maybe they are saying that to get out to a party or something..it sounds like it...or maybe the girl who is 17 might be buying them drink..but this is only thinking the worst...maybe she does like hanging out wit them 4 an unknown reason?

i know as a mom of a 14 year old girl that no way wud i ever let her go out like that!

Answer 5

No, your not overreacting.

The 17 year old girl isn't the most responsible person, thats already been made clear.

I know my mom wouldn't let me go, & anyone who looks at it from a mothers prospective will see it the same way.

Answer 6

uhh you are in no way overreacting.....

she's probably going to talk them into getting pregnant and sell them cigarettes.

i can see why the 17 year old would want to hang out with her cousin, but she is perfectly capable of going over to the 13 year olds house and being with their family....

good for you for not letting her go.

and sometimes being hated is just a part of being a mother.

believe me, when she gets older she'll appreciate everything you've done for her.

i was just like her when i was 13-16... now i'm 18 and have the most respect ever for my mom. she's strict but you know what? I don't do drugs, I don't drink and i don't plan on getting pregnant anytime soon. just keep it up but let her know you still love her :D

Answer 7

I'm not a mum.....but just from a personal point of view I would agree with the majority of answers. You are most certainly not overreacting. At their age there is a big difference in 17 and 13 and have no idea why the 17 yr old hasn't got friends her own age and would choose to have a sleepover with 13 yr olds. I would have been suspicious too and would totally have done the same thing.

Answer 8

no keely u are not. I am 20 yearls old btw and i agree with u. She may be an aunt and wanting to please her niece but she is not responsible if she has got pregnant. I mean that will just send a wrong signal to ur daughter.

How about u suggest s sleep over at ur house where u can be sure that she will be safer and also have fun. Let her have some privacy during this time and i am sure u daughter will be happy.

I can understand why u are worried. Girls these days want to lose their virginity very quickly since they feel it is a grown up and by making her mix with this aunt she may get the wrong impression.

tc!

Answer 9

dont let her go that is weird who knows wat cold happen

Answer 10

you are not overreacting at all you made the right choice by not letting her go. she may hate you now but she'll get over.

Answer 11

i have a 13 year old daughter and im with you on this one! she asked me if she could go camping last week im surprised she even asked!!

Answer 12

I think you made a good decision...  I have a nine and seven year old daughters and as a mom you have to go with your gut....  I can't imagine why a 17 yo would want to hang with a group of 13yo's, except that she regrets getting pregnant and is trying to be a kid again???  Dunno, but don't worry mom, we are always the worst for looking out for our daughters....LOL!!  good luck!

Answer 13

I believe your actions were absoluetly right.  Why would you want a 13 year old sleeping over a 17 year old's house? And not only that, but girl is just 4 years older than your daughter and is having a child.  Honestly, I am against pregnant teens because it sets an example for younger teens, so I believe you did the right thing.  Plus you don't even know this 17 year old (I'm guessing, you don't knowwhether she is responsible or not) that well so you were absolutely responsible.

Answer 14

I completely understand you not allowing her to go. obviously this is not a responsible 17 year old if she is pregnant and living alone. she should be working on her own life and not hanging out with 13 yr olds. this 17 yr old has a tough road ahead. explain to your daughter that you arent comfortable with it. she will be angry at first, but she will get over it

Answer 15

You're right.  I think that's kind of odd myself.  No way would I allow a 13 year old to have a sleepover at a 17 year old's place.

Of course, maybe I'm not the most qualified mother to answer considering my oldest two are 13 months old and not 13 years old... but my answer will be the same in the future, I'm sure!

I think if you're not hated by your 13 year old at least sometimes, you're not doing your job.

I HAAAAAATED my mother at that age but man, I sure love and appreciate her now!

Answer 16

The 17 year old is just looking for some non-judgemental company. This girl is lonely and needs someone to talk to and if your daughter can be her friend, let her. Just talk to her about this young woman's situation and clear things up for your relationship with your daughter. Good luck!

Answer 17

you were right to not let her go that's kinda weird i don't know why a 17 would have a sleepover with a bunch of 13year olds

Answer 18

im not a mum but i think you did the right thing, i think its very odd that a 17 year old would want to have a load of 13 year olds round. thats a huge age gap,  and the 17 year old is clearly not a responsible one...

Answer 19

No, absolutely, you are not overreacting.  The 17 year old's judgement is OBVIOUSLY suspect, or else she wouldn't be pregnant.  13 year olds do not need to be hanging around a 17 year old pregger living on her own -- they are too young to understand all the consequences, and all they see is someone just a few years older than them with all the independence and freedom in the world . . .

If the 17 year old is living on her own, she may just be hungry for any kind of company.  

But that's ok, join the Most Hated Moms Club -- you'll have LOTS of company!

Answer 20

no your not overreacting your just being a good mum.  17 is still not an adult however much they think they are and 13 is still far too young to be left alone without adult supervision.  Anything could happen to this pregnant 17 yr old and what would happen to the 13's then, who would mind them. I would have done the same thing to protect my child. Stick to your guns and dont worry about her hating you at the moment that will pass and she will realise your worth. :o)

Answer 21

No you are not over reacting!!The 17yr old i don't think is sensible because she got herself pregnant who knows what bad habits your daughter could've picked up if she went!!

Answer 22

Your not over reacting! if I had a 13 year old I wouldnt want her to look up to a 17 year old pregnant girl. Thats showing her that being a pregnant teenager is ok. You made the right decision, your daughter will get over it.

Answer 23

Well i'm 14 now and i have just been to a sleepover with 3 of my mates one aged 14 and one 13 and the eldest mate's aunt was there and chose to stay with us and she is 16 i don't think that it is all that weird cus the 17 year old may just have an immature side that allows her to enjoy herself more with her cousin and maybe the sleepover was a way of having fun with her cousin and giving her something to do..........

Although it is different in every way so i suppose that it is better to be safe then sorry.

I'm sure that you daughter doesn't hate you, (trust me it is easy to say but, i could never truly hate my mother even if i say it more than i should, im sure it is the same for your daughter)

Good-luck

Chax *