Teenage Preggers!? PLEASE HELP. ?

Question

Now don't even start about the whole... "You're way too young!" Thank you , so i've figured. I just really need some help.

I'm not from any broken home. I'm not a ****. I'm not in love. I'm a simple 18 year old girl. You might have seen types like me... Aberbrombie&Fitch looks (it's been said, not conceited) from an upper middle class family in a small town in Washington.

The boy I concieved the baby with is not my boyfriend. It was an accident, no not a drunken one. I've been pregnant for one month and I'm determined to love the best mistake I ever made.

I'm just wondering about how my desicion will impact the child. I have tons of loving family and friends that will support me all the way. I'm taking this year after high school off so I can give birth.

Then I have plans to go to university like I was supposed to... Dartmouth. This means I'll be living in New Hampshire... across the country and leaving my baby with my huge family (who'll take the best care) I'll come for summers and holidays. Now the question...

HOW WILL THIS IMPACT MY CHILD IN THE FUTURE?! I'LL BE MISSING A GREAT PART OF FOUR YEARS IN HER LIFE!

Answer 1

I don't think that is a very good idea... She or He will be more attached to your other family than you. After time she will probably grow more attached but still it would probably be rough on her especially when she is three and four and know that "mommy" isn't there.

Answer 2

That is SO mature and responsible of you to decide to keep and love this baby instead of get an abortion, honey, and I'm VERY proud of you:)  Leave your baby with your most TRUSTED family, which sounds to me from what you've said like it could be your mom and dad.   Education IS very important but do you honestly want to leave it that much?  By the time you have it, you may not want to leave it, you'll be so in love with it.  My mom had me at 20, and didn't go to college unfortunately, but when I was old enough to not need 24 hour care, she started a college course at home.  I'm not going to pressure and badger you into getting married/into a partnership, but finding someone you love and whom you can share this life and family with may be a good idea.  But don't rush into anything.  Think about a part time job or a home college course.  My mom did the Open University, which is a real, proper place you can get your degree in ANYTHING, only it's at home, and you never need to go out your door lol:)

Answer 3

it'll really mess you up more than your child. once you hold your baby in your arms you might not be able to leave her. you might want to consider going to a school closer to home or going to a community college. it will be great that she'll grow up with a whole bunch of people to love her. your not the only one a lot of people have the same problem as you.

Answer 4

While I applaud you for wanting to step up to the plate and care for this baby, its possible that if you love your baby, the very best thing you  can do for your baby is give her up.

Trust me, I understand. I'm 18, and I am due in December. I'm currently 22 weeks pregnant.

I was torn between adoption and keeping my baby.

I am a sophmore in community college, and I was due to transfer to Drexel University in the spring.

I had to understand, you can't have it both ways.

You can't have a baby and leave him with your family while you go off and live your life.

You need to choose. Your baby, or college.

I decided that if I realistically expected to keep my baby, Drexel is out of the picture.

I will finish up at community college by going part time after my son is born.

But the prospect of going away to a four year school is out of the picture.

I know its hard. But try and think of your baby's best interests. How do you think it will impact your family? How do you think it will impact your precious baby to go without a mother for the first 4 years of her life.

You can't ever get those years back.

You have 2 options, community college, and maybe even taking classes at a 4 year school when your child has grown, and keeping your baby.

OR

Understanding that education is a priority in your life, going away to a 4 year school, and choosing to place your baby in someone else's care, permanently.

I know its very hard. Pray over it. Get some counseling. Make a pro/con list.

Good luck.

And if you ever need to talk, feel free to email/message me.

Answer 5

to be quite blunt she might not reconise you as her mother, and as her mother you need to put your baby first,

its hard to say how YOU will feel after the baby is born, you might not want to leave her for a second or concentrate on your studies.

ps ive been reading your past questions

1, you say your having a baby girl, how can you know the s*x if you are only a month pregnant?

2, that your 35 and never had a period?

3, your 16 and want to go to a concert?

Answer 6

Yes it will make an impact on your child.I have  a nephew who is almost 3 and when he is with someone else for an amount of time he doesnt want to spend much time with his mom or dad.Pretty awesome your going to still go to college,but you have another life to think about aswell.Why not just choose a college that is close so you can still spend time with your child.

Im 16 and im pregnant and the most im going to let other people watch my baby for is a couple hours..

Answer 7

Your not alone there are plenty pregnant teens out there age of 18 (me) will be 19 when i have him iam 32weeks.  & honestly it is the best feeling in the world and i wouldnt change this for nothing i love my son soooooo much. But the only thing that concerns me is leaving your child behind you should think about something else go to college where you live so you can be with him or her because this baby will need YOUUUUUU the most.

Answer 8

I have no personal experience regarding this, just a personal opinion, and you can totally disregard it.I'm only seventeen so who am I to say?

But I feel that you would not be as connected to the child as you could be if you were around for that time, you would be missing a very large part of your child's life, when they learn about the world, what is acceptable and what isn't, and when they become who they are and develop their personalities.

You would have no say in what's being said, and what your child is exposed to, I'm sure you would feel disconnected & so would the child. It's great that you wan't to finish your education, it's just to bad you can't find a way to integrate both into your life, instead of missing 4 years.

Answer 9

just wait it out when the baby comes your mind might change....I had my baby at 20 and got married at 19

So I was sorta young and I KNOW how I FELT!

Answer 10

your child will have little to know about you except for the occasional pop ins but if you call everyday and make her know how much u care about her and you are doing all of this for her than i think she will appreciate it in the long run but yea it is going to be hard for the both of you but things will work out for the better

Answer 11

The fact is that you have stepped into motherhood and providing for you child properly is extremely important. However I am concerned about you moving so far away to attend college because your child will need you more in the first 5 years of his/her life than you can even imagine. NO ONE is like the REAL MOMMY... not even a great family can make up for what a child needs in a mommy. The fact is that you are the mommy now to a beautiful baby and your college choices have become more limited than what you are considering... Go to a college that allows you to be a mom and a student... trust me these are years that you will be sorry you missed......

Answer 12

Well, your child won't actually think your it's mother, if you only see it for the summer.

Nice to see who you think takes priority.

Answer 13

i aplaud your determination to finish your education but i personally could never leave my child for a few days let alone 4 years. that is your choice but in 4 years she may grow up thinking you're a nice person but never really accept the fact that you're her mother since you were not there when she was growing up and you didn't bond with her.

this is a tough decision and it's your to make. i could never do it.