Teenage daughter problems?

Question

i have a 14 year old daughter, im a single mother with 4 other daughters but she is the oldest

1. she refuses to go to school and you can physically put her but on a chair at school but then as soon a you leave she gets up and runs home - its a no win situation

2. she has a new boyfriend every week and they treat her like **** but she doesnt see it and keeps going back to the same type of guy

3. she runs away from home all the time

4. she smokes and drinks

i really have no idea what to do now, i have tried everything and she just seems to be getting worse - any suggestions on what i can do about it?

Answer 1

u can join in indian education system in hotel . that insitute and country will teach lession to ur doughter

Answer 2

call her school's truancy officer and have her arrested. it is illegal for a child under the age of 16 to not attend school. Your daughter is out of control and needs a swift kick in a** in order for her to get her life on track. good luck

Answer 3

My mother was a single mother and had a lot of the same problems from my brother (drugs, skipping school, running away, etc.). Once when my brother was 14 and a foot taller than her, he ran away with a kid in the neighborhood.  After looking for him for 5 hours she found him in a bowling alley at 3a.m. with the other kid (and a 30 year old man who had just gotten out of jail the day before---we found out later).  My mother marched into the bowling alley with a belt and proceeded to "whoop" him all the way out of the bowling alley out to the car.  They marched right by a security guard who just laughed (probably thinking more mothers ought to be doing that). Anyway, my brother was so embarrassed he never tried anything like it again.  The other kid, by the way, whose parents did nothing---he's in jail.  My brother just finished culinary school with a 4.0 average and is the head chef for the Officer's Club on our local military base and has cooked private meals for 4 & 5 star generals and the

mayor, etc.  

My mother would leave no stone unturned to keep him between the ditches.  If she caught him skipping she turned him in and whoever he was skipping with.  She would have them "throw the book at him". She would tell his friends parents, too.  She has taken him to the D-home.  Every thing he did, she was right on top of him.

DO WHATEVER IT TAKES!! Start drug testing her. Take a little trip to the D-Home, so she can see what she's in for.  Nail her windows shut, so she can't sneak out.  Install an alarm on the windows and doors that only you have the code to.  Stalk her, embarrass her.  Make it so that none of her so-called 'freinds' want to be with her becacuse they don't want you following them around or stalking them and they don't want you calling the police on them or catching them with drugs.  Have a plan for her at school where she has constant supervision when she's there.  Have the school 'escort' her to her classes and not let her out of class. Enlist others in your community.  Tell them  "If you see my daughter not where she's supposed to be.....", etc.  She may hate you for it now, but she'll thank you for it someday.  You aren't her friend your her mom.  The friend part comes later.

Answer 4

First when it comes to school she has to understand that at 14 it is not an option it is a law and she has to attend school.  As the parent if she continues to skip then you are risking being arrested and charged for her not attending so take your daughter go to the school and sit down with the principle and councelor and explain the situation in front of her, let them tell her the facts and then make the pact right in front of her that if she skips again the truant officer will be called and she will be sent to juevie no questions asked.

As far as the boyfriends go.  Remember when you were a kid the more your parents disapproved the more you wanted to do it.  Don't dwell on the boyfriend, the maore you say he is bad and treats her wrong the more she is going to hang on.  try telling he that she is so smart and funny and you want to see her with someone who makes her smile and leave it at that.  If she asks what you think then tell her well maybe he will grow on me and srop it.

When she runs away from home call the cops and have them pick her up and let her spend a night in juvie.  She thinks the streets are so much fun with no rules and adults what she needs is a wake up call that this is not going to be accepted.  When you get firm and she knows what the consequences will be then she will rethink things.

On the smoking and drinking again point out the law and let her know that if she gets caught she will be arrested and you will not bail her out of it.  If she thinks she is old enough to do the crime then she can do the punishment as well.

Finally call around and get a family councelor for you, her and the other girls.  Your daughter is in need of help she is begging for it just in the wrong ways.  You need help because you need someone to talk to and offer help and the others girls need it as well because all the stress has got to be affecting them as well and if you dont intervene now then you will have them following in her steps.

Answer 5

let her go to jail for juvies and leave her be.  if you dont do it now, just put up with it until shes 18 and kick her out

Answer 6

send her *** to boot camp! seriously... those drill Sargent's will put her in her place in NO time!!

Answer 7

Get her into some sort of counseling ASAP!  This child is SCREAMING for help!

Answer 8

Give her a good spanking.

Answer 9

well im 14 years old  as well and i try my best to do well in school to set a good example on my young siblings. Besides the problems she has at home maybe its cuz she's getting picked on at school or somthing maybe shes not getting enough attention from you so she feels that boys can help make her feel better feel more LOVED...... As a young girl with smaller siblings i do somtimes feel lonely here and there. Maybe you should start having more time alone with her take her shpping go to the movies talk about boys and lil thinqs like that to her. But most importantly let her knw you love her and give her a lil space here and there so she feels you trust her. From what i see you sound like a good mother now you have to get her to see that too :] dnt worry thinqs work out sooner or later.

Answer 10

I am only 19 and I was the good kid out of my siblings. However my brother was exactly like your daughter is. My mom sent him to one of those boot camp kinda things for teenagers. It did wonders on him. He is now 24 married and has a child! He is making really good money and doing great!!

Just a thought. Good luck!

Answer 11

Counseling...

Teenage Boot Camp...

Juvenile Hall...

Answer 12

cathloic school or military school

Answer 13

Get a sock and fill it with oranges. Now feel free to bludgeon her over the head!They wont leave any bruises and lets her know who's boss!

Answer 14

Brace yourself for the time the other girls grow up.

For now, understand that kids this age are naturally rebellious. When in a rebellious streak, they do the opposite of what you tell them to do.

In the case of your 14 year old daughter, I think she is a disturbed kid. Her actions go beyond "teen rebellion" and these could all result in something she will forever regret. And you as mom should come to her rescue now, more so because the 3 other girls see it and that should be fair warning.

The girl (and you, I must say) need counseling. When she runs away from home, she is not running away from the house, she is running away from YOU. People don't leave homes, they leave PEOPLE. If you do not accept that you are part of the problem unfortunately your 14 year old daughter will suffer a worse fate.

Act on this now, you will feel better with the acceptance. And you will be able to save not just your 14 year old, but the three others as well.

May God bless you and give you strength.

Answer 15

my brother is 21 and has been the same way your daughter is now since he was 15, it got so bad he would get in physical fights w/the parents and started stealing and lieing, he now lives off others roaming from friend to friend there is only so much you can do and unless she trully wants to change she wont...cut the umbilical cord and put yur foot down, send her to a juvi like place away from her friends and family, and if she does not straiten up well that is up to u to decide .do not compromise or soon you will be paying for her actions literally, truancy and skipping school is against the law in most places now, or u may be left raising her kids if it goes that far.

Answer 16

The more you contest, the more she will want to do the things that you dont like.  Remember when you were 14?  Ahhh...Its all about control.

Try being understanding and reasonable.  Let her make her own mistakes with the guys.  Thats how we learn what we dont want in a man.  Dont be judgmental of her and try to be her friend but still the parent.  This is a tough balancing act.  Some counseling would be beneficial and I would definitley get her some drug and alchol counseling.