Teens up late on the computer?

Question

Any parents out there with teenager that complain that they cant sleep?how would u deal with it. my daughter(14) stays up till 4 am in chats and on youtube listening to music.ive caught her 4 times! first time she lost the computer but let it go after that.I dont know what to do.I'm thinking i should remove her computer and make her go to bed at 9 and wake up ealier.Is this to strict?Im also worried she might be depressed and we started counseling but she wont talk.I feel like a horrible parent.

Answer 1

I was a computer obsessed teenager to! My parents were forceful and at 10pm the computer was turn off at the plug whether I liked it or not!

They said it was either turn off or thrown out!!!

They also had security settings so I could go on certain sites and it kept a history of sites I'd visited.

During the day and evening my parents took me and my sister places...I would winge but actually enjoyed it :) we went for meals, cinema, bowling etc...kept me off computer and enjoying family time.

Counselling can take time...and teenagers are great at the I'm not talking, I aint bothered atttitude hehe!

Answer 2

Disconnect the Internet and YES, get that computer out of her room.  She'll have a fit, but it's your job to protect her.  If she's in chat rooms but won't talk to you, there's trouble already.

But 9 sounds a little early...it's not even sunset!  Try 10 or 11, but don't let her sleep in until all hours of the afternoon, either, or it will upset her internal clock.

Bring this up at your next counselling appointment.  The best of luck to you!

Answer 3

Just let her enjoy that vacation. She's in school 8 months old the year, and this is the only time she gets to stay up late, and sleep late. I am usually up til 6 am, and sleep til 8, and then I take a nap at 3. (I have a nanny, lol) For my 13 y.o. it's lights out at 3:30. And I let her sleep until 11ish. She is doing fine. She's active, and she's only on her laptop during the night because with 8 brothers and sisters (two in the NICU), she helps out a lot and doesn't get to spend time to herself. If she's being respectful, and not sleeping until 4 in the afternoon (when i was 14, I got into that bad habit and when school started I was a wreck), and doing her chores, I don't see a problem with it.

And Charli: I am not trying to be rude, but they're just kids, and it's summer vacation. I mean 9 o' clock!?? That's when my 5 year old goes to bed!! That's a bit harsh...

~Kate

Answer 4

Wow, call me strict or old fashioned, but like h**l my child would be up till 4am on the computer, especially at 14yo.

d**n straight you should be removing that computer. I'd be turning it off myself at 9pm & I'd take the cords out of the back so they couldn't turn it on.

Sometimes as parents we have to be mean. I couldn't careless, I am proud to be a Mean Mum.

Yes well Kate, we certainly do parent different. For one, my kids get up at a decent hour on this farm, and we don't allow a 14yo on the internet at 4am in this house. We don't allow a child to use the internet unsupervised in this house at all.

I get up at 5am every day, like h**l I am staying up to watch them.

And my nearly 5yo wouldn't even know what 9pm was, only on special occasions. We rather be outside in the sunshine, that coped up inside.

If you use your computer as a substitute for Family Time, that is truly sad, and somewhat sickening. No where did I say send the child to bed at 9pm - Just shut the computer off.

Answer 5

Its the nature of a teenager to want to stay up all night and sleep all day.

As long as she is doing her chores and being respectful, I would let it go.

Answer 6

dont do that

its summer

theres no school

no work

thats just what a normal 14 year old does.

if it was a school day i would understand

Answer 7

a lot of teens do this.

its just "the thing" to do these days. shes just enjoying the summer vacation time before school starts back up again and she has to get up early.

EDIT: was the thumbsdown necessary? a lot of teens do it, shows what you know

Answer 8

4 am is too late even in the summer. You are the parent. I would not allow her to have her pc in her bedroom. Move it to a public area. What has she got to do in the summer? Is she on her own? That does come in to play. What are your expectations of her? Does she know? Are you consistent? I think you need to figure out what you want and then tell her. Communication is essential. Keep it simple. Be consistent. Exceptions should not be the norm. Think about what you are trying to instill, values, teachings, etc. It sounds like you aren't listening to her and that's why she's not talking in therapy.

Answer 9

i am 13, its 1:12am here, and i cant sleep. im not depressed, i chat with random people, sometimes i just cant sleep. i don't think u should take the computer away, its something to do. sometimes i don't even go to sleep, and its fine...normal. one of my friends had a heartbreak thing, and she took her mind off of it like that. another friend was having a relationship with a guy over the internet (she knew him, but her parents wouldn't let her date at the time) we have out reasons for being on the computer

Answer 10

this is normal for a teennager. all teens do it they love to chat listen to music and stuff. if it school nights and she is doing it it is a completley diffrent story if this is the case yes do what you said if it is summer let her bee. overal she is a young teenager wait for the 15s and 16s and 17s!! than she can drive!! not on the computer. but driving. hope this helped

Answer 11

No. Your not a bad parent. Im a teenager and I stay up til 6am everyday of the summer playing xbox 360 because its fun and It makes me happy. Im sure she's just enjoying her summer just like any other teen until school starts, there's nothing to worry about, only that you should see what chat rooms she is on just to make sure its safe because there are a lot of creepy ppl out there, but if its myspace or aim then she's fine..just tell her to stay away from chat rooms on AIM and make sure her profiles on private. Get out of counseling, it won't do anything, just take your money..trust me.

Answer 12

That's horrible. It's summer. If she can't sleep, it's not her fault. If she wants to stay up late, let her. It's not like she has to wake up really early in the morning for work like you do. I stay up late & go on the computer because I can. I don't think she needs counseling. She's fine.

Answer 13

Just tell your daughter to

1. be careful

2. watch her health - have enough sleep

Give her space. As long as she's not slipping out, getting into drugs - let her enjoy her music and her chats.

Answer 14

I went to bed at 11.23am yesterday and i got school today that is not good because there is a math test. I did it because i need to finish my homework.

Your daughter is staying up till 4am!!!!!!!!!!!! that is CRAZY. I suggest you give her a warning and if she does it again, remove it from her room. Because if she does not sleep she would not be heathly.

But!!

If it during the school hoildays, it's ok. Because there is no school and she can sleep during the DAY.

Answer 15

you know she is most probably talking to boys on those chats who are older then her and i would be worried because all guys on chatsites are perverts

Answer 16

Well I'm 15 and i usally dont head to bed until 4 or 5. Its nice to be able to do whatever and sleep in late. So if she doesnt have anything to do the next day why would you make her go to bed at 9? During school i go to bed at 10:30 and during summer as long as i dont sleep all day and as long as i dont wake up my mother she doesnt care what time i go to bed. Its all about the freedom and being able to stay up late without someone telling you to do your homework or 'you have school tomorrow'. We wait all year for this its completely normal. I wouldnt worry about her staying up late unless she has someowhere to go in the morning and if she does just map it out. Kids are suppose to get around 8 to 9 hours of sleep. So make a deal with her if she has to get up at 9 let her stay up till 12. That way she wouldnt be tired and will have gotten enough sleep. As for not talking have you tried conseling where your not in the room because it might help her trust the consuler more if you parents arent in the room.

Hope I helped :)

Answer 17

You know this day an age it is considered normal. But I still wouldn't let her do it. There is nothing good going on in these chat rooms at this hour. And youtube is even worse there's so much garbage it's not even funny. I would take the computer out of her room (at 14 it shouldn't be in there anyways not with all the cyber predetors). And then if she has trouble sleeping I'd start taking her to the library and get her some books.

At 14, try the Christy Miller Series, they are by Robin Jones Gunn and they are so healthy for her at that age. They are not trashy books either. They are about a girl who in the begining is 14. They talk about her life and her growing relationship with God and her friends. They were written in the 70's but when you ready them you can't even tell.

If she's determined to stay up late then at least she can do something constructive right?