Tell fiance what to do/ manipulate?

Question

My fiance doesn't think it is appropriate to spend the night together so we don't. But I think if I were to try and manipulate him and get him to stay, he would. Is it a good thing to manipulate your man? Is this something most women do.

Do most women tell their husbands what to do? Is that a good idea? It seems like most women are kinda bossy to their men sometimes and when I am, I feel bad like I am not respecting him but then I wonder if like I'm supposed to do that, if telling him what to do is part of being close.

Answer 1

It's a horrible idea. Don't start.  No one wants to be manipulated. And they shouldn't be. And when you are manipulating him, you are NOT respecting him.  

Answer 2

Manipulation is a horrible, lowly trait in any one, and it is wrong of you to make a blanket statement on the female populace. I do not manipulate my fiance' because I love and respect him, and I don't know any one of any worth who does that to the one they claim to love. My fiance' and I have been together 2 1/2 years, engaged 1 year, with another year of engagement left and we're both virgins waiting for marriage. There are times where we're both tempted, but we would never do anything to hurt the other, and know that there are some things worth waiting for.

Why would I tell him what to do? I'm not his mother, I will be his wife. There is a vast difference, and it is very clear to me that you do not love him or possess the necessary maturity for marriage. How can bossing someone around be part of "being close"? Are you best friends with the corporates heads of your company? Doubtful. Every time they leave you a memo or tear you down do you get starry eyed? Doubtful. So why would that work in a loving relationship?

Your fiance' respects you enough to not want talk or rumors about you to be started because of HIM. Why don't you try respecting him a bit more?

Answer 3

Don't manipulate your man, respect him.  I think it's crazy when women nag and boss their men.  Just communicate honestly, and if he is still against the idea, respect his wishes.  Think about it - if he's your fiancee, you're planning on spending the rest of your life with him, right?  So what's the problem with waiting a little bit longer to spend the night together?  You have the rest of your lives.

If it doesn't feel right to you, that's because it's not 'you.'  Don't worry about anyone else's relationships.

Answer 4

No, it's not a good thing to manipulate any one.  You definitely need to respect the person you are married to.  I agree, I have seen women who are bossy to their husband and the husband puts up with it.  Remember, just because someone else is doing it doesn't make it right.  Do you want to jump off of a bridge if you see others doing it and it looks/seems harmless?

Compromise is essential to any healthy relationship whether it's a marriage or friendship.  Try to find some common ground and compromise.

Good Luck!

Answer 5

Never manipulate anyone.  This goes for you guys on women too!  Manipulation is so wrong.  Would you want to be manipulated for some other person's personal agenda?  Probably not.  So don't do unto others that you don't want done to you.

Why are women so bossy?  Because the guy they're with is a wimp.  Has no balls to stand up for himself so she gets increasingly irritated with him and gets more bossy until either he leaves or she leaves.  And some women just love to have that kind of control too.

Answer 6

No, don't manipulate him. You don't want to scare him away, and marriage is about TWO People, not someone manipulating the other. It is a one way ticket to divorce. Work together and don't manipulate each other in any way, shape or form.  

Answer 7

Oh good lord, don't start manipulated that just shows you have no respect for him at all and is no way to live your life.  Especially once he smartens up and realizes you are he'll be gone.

Respect his decision.  If you can't you may need to look for another fiance.

I don't know who put the idea in your head that this is okay but I'm sorry to say they probably have a pretty bad marriage, or will very soon.

Answer 8

Are you kidding me?. Your on a highway to dumpville if you decided to play those games. Only Little childish girls will Manipulate there man...

I NEVER manipulate my man. I may ask or try to get him to see my point of view but I won't Manipulate him into doing anything that he won't do..Unless It gets him to take out the trash....

I am sorry but your very childish.

Answer 9

Don't be bossy. he is a truthful man who wants to go by the wedding rule. Don't stay the night or move in until marriage. He won't like you being bossy. Be the girl he fell in love with, not what other women do.

Answer 10

Don't try to boss him around.  That is not the way to a good, long lasting relationship.  However, if there is something that you want him to do, be honest and tell him - not in a bossy tone - but let him know how you feel.  Communication is the key to a good marriage.  My wife and I always talk things out.  Sometimes we count "reallys".  If I really want something but she really, really wants something else, we will do it her way.  The same for me.

Answer 11

I've been married over 20 years, and have yet to "tell" my husband what to do.  I may ask him to do something or not to do something, but I'm not his boss, nor is he mine.  Manipulating someone, but especially your spouse, is just not a good idea.  Most people figure it out eventually, and that leads to resentment in the relationship.  For most marriages, if one partner resents the other, you can basically kiss that marriage good-bye.  

However, my husband will defer to my judgment when the issue is something he knows little about, or if he's ambivalent about an issue, and I feel very strongly about it, but again, that also works both ways in our marriage.  Marriage is a partnership, and a good marriage is generally based on mutual respect for each other.  You generally don't respect someone you can manipulate easily, at least I know I don't and wouldn't.  

Answer 12

I would like to see a marriage that does not manipulate and dictate. Don't forget, we are all human and should be treated as such. He is not your boss and you are not his. He does not manipulate you and you don't manipulate him. Honesty equals integrity in a marriage. Don't forget that.