Tell me about it! Comment are appreciated!?

Question

I’ve been falling and falling,

I’m afraid of what comes next,

The heart is sure,

The love is pure,

But still I’m scared to death.

My heart it has been broken,

Although, it was long ago,

I still have scars,

And still recall,

The pain of what has been.

I’ve been falling and falling,

I’m still afraid of what comes next,

But I’ll keep taking baby steps,

Because although the mind is scared,

The heart it screams for more.

Answer 1

You really should take your poetry to thestarlitecafe.com It is a great site to post you writing. My pen name is Rejowen. Look me up and I'll add you to my friends.

Answer 2

The slight critiques I can offer are in the way of punctuation (too many commas not enough periods) and  I would also suggest a change of workings of lines 8 and 9 to alleviate the repeated words 'still'.  Also I took out repeated word usage "it" throughout.

May I suggest this:

I've been falling and falling;

afraid of what comes next.

The heart is sure;

the love is pure,

but I'm still scared to death.

My heart has been broken;

although it was a long time ago

I bare the scars

and can still recall

the pain of what has been.

I've been falling and falling,

afraid of what comes next,

but I'll keep on taking baby steps,

because the mind is still scared

while the heart screams for more.

Small changes on an overall very good piece. Good job!!

Answer 3

Well if comments are what you want..

I think that the changes the last post made are comments.. She only wrote it out to show you what it would look like.

Keep taking baby steps, but do not shoot the messenger,

You will have enough battles to fight without creating one.

The poem is what it is, needs a bit of reworking and refining,

This is constructive criticism and I hope you keep working on poems growing as a poet in your own right.