Tell me funny JOKES you guys have? READ MINE LOL?

Question

yo momma so fat..each time she turns its her birthday

yo momma so fat she went out wearin a yellow jacket and the kids yelled 'the school bus arrived!"

yo momma so stupid she tripped over a wireless phone

yo momma's house so dirty u gotta wipe ur feet before going out

a brunette a blonde and a red head were desserted on an island.. there was another island 100 metres away.. the brunette said 'ill swim first over there" .. she swam the first 40 metres and drowned.. the red head said ok let me try .. she swam the first 60 metres and drowned.. the blonde had no choice so she swam 90 metres, she got tired and swam back.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Answer 1

good ones... here

There was this parrot, a farmer owned, who loved to

harass the chickens. One day he went too far and

plucked the feathers off of several chickens.

The farmer was enraged and plucked the feathers

off the parrot making him completely bald. Later

in the day he felt remorse and told the parrot,

"Tonight we have a party. We will forgive you

if you help at the party. I want you sit on the

top of the lamp in our hall. As couples come in,

you say "Ladies, put your coats in the room to the

right and gentlemen, you put your coats in the

room to the left."

The parrot agreed and that evening sat on top

of the lamp.

As couples came in he said "Ladies, put your

coats in the room to the right, gentlemen,

you put your coats in the room to the right."

All went well until two ladies came in with

two bald gentlemen.

The Parrot said, "Ladies, put your coats in

the room to the right, and you bald chicken

pluckers come up here on the lamp with me."

Answer 2

lmao the 1st 2nd and the last one were

soooooooo funny

Answer 3

MWAHAHA i love jokes! im really bad at them and when i saw them it gets quiet and awkward but i have some yo momma jokes!

"Yo momma's so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone

Yo momma's so dumb she passed by YMCA and said hey look they spelled MACYs wrong

Yo momma's so poor people rob her house for practice

Yo momma's so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals

Yo momma's so dumb she fell up the stairs

Yo momma's so dumb at bottom of application where it says Sign Here she put Sagitarius

Yo momma's so dumb I said lets go to the superbowl and she ran and got a spoon

Yo momma's so dumb I said it was chilli outside and she ran in and got a bowl

Yo momma's so dumb I saw her jumping up and down asked what she was doing and she said she drank a bottle of medicine and forgot to shake it

Yo momma's so dumb I saw her walking down the street yelling into an envelope asked what she was doing and she said sending a voice mail

Yo momma's so dumb I taught her how to do the running man and I havent seen her since

Yo momma's so dumb I told her Christmas was just around the corner and she went looking for it

Yo momma's so dumb I told her drinks were on the house so she went and got a ladder

Yo momma's so dumb she couldn't read an audio book

Yo momma's so dumb she couldn't tell which way an elevator was going if I gave her two guesses

Yo momma's so dumb she died before the police arrived because she couldn't find the 11 button in 911

Yo momma's so dumb she died boiling water in the toaster"

lol this is my fav:"Yo momma's so dumb I put a ScratchNSniff sticker on the bottom of the pool and she drowned"

there are so much more but i cut them short to give the other people some room. email for more!

Answer 4

lol

Answer 5

A father and son snake are out for a nice afternoon slither.

The son asks, "Dad is we poisonous snakes?"

The father replies proudly, "Yes son, we are rattler snakes! Why do you ask son?"

"Because DAD, I just bit my tongue!!"

joke2

The kids filed back into class Monday morning.

They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then share with the class how they were successful.

Little Mary led off, "I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30," she said proudly, "my sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that approach for my success."

"Very good," said the teacher.

Little Sally was next, "I sold magazines," she said, "I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them abreast of current events."

"Very good, Sally," said the teacher.

Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn. The teacher held her breath. Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's desk. "$2,467" he said.

"$2,467!" cried the teacher, "What in the world were you selling?"

"Toothbrushes," said Little Johnny.

"Toothbrushes?" echoed the teacher, "How could you possibly sell enough toothbrushes to make that much money?"

"I found the busiest corner in town," said Little Johnny, "I set up a chocolate chip cookie stand and gave everybody who walked by a free sample.

They all said, “This tastes like p**p!" Then I replied, “It is. Wanna buy a toothbrush?!!"

joke3

A single guy decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet. After some discussion, he finally bought a centipede (a 100-legged bug) that came in a little white box which served as the bug's house.

He took his purchase home, found a good location for the box, and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to church with him. So he asked the centipede in the box, "Would you like to go to church with me today? We will have a good time." But there was no answer from his new pet.

This bothered him a bit, but he waited a few minutes and then asked him again, "How about going to church with me and receive blessings?" But again, there was no answer from his new friend and pet.

So he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation. He decided to ask him one more time; this time putting his face up against the centipede's house and shouting, "HEY IN THERE! WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO TO CHURCH WITH ME AND LEARN ABOUT THE LORD?"

(YOU ARE GOING TO LOVE THIS!)

And a little voice came out of the box.........

"I heard you the first time.......I'm putting on my shoes!"