Tell me how you like this poem?

Question

my girlfriend says she doesn't like it. although i wasn't necessarily writing it for her as i was expressing my own personal feelings.

There Are No Words For This

The simplicity of it is far beyond the reach of any understanding due to the depth of feeling to even begin pondering any explanation

It occurs far beyond slight fondness or affection

To a point where its ability and validity is questioned

Where the reality of it becomes more than a mere possible existence

Doubted by the fact of the amount of intensity it holds

Far from the simplicity of love

It is believed unreal considering its effect on the complications to even consider love a simplicity

An entirely new entity greater than any theoretical assumption of the philosophy of love

Greater than the greatest of possible emotions

...it's not finished yet but yea... what do you think?

Answer 1

I really liked it, actually. I read it once, and I was like... okaaay. But, then I reread it, slower this time, and I liked it a lot more. =D If you're not finished, you should finish.  

Answer 2

I think it has some potential.

Answer 3

I like it nice. Keep up the good work and let us know the finished version so we can help you on that :)

Answer 4

I have to say I enjoyed it and would love to hear the rest. I just hope that your girlfriend or whoever else reads this has a wide range of vocabulary or they might get a little lost and confused. Well done.

Be sure to put the rest up when it is finished.

Answer 5

There Are No Words For This   you found a few

The simplicity of it is far beyond the reach of any understanding due to the depth of feeling to even begin pondering any explanation

understanding feelings is part of growing up.

you will understand your depths of feelings and be able to manage them, but your are right that explanations of feelings is very difficult, at first.

and they are overwhelming that you fell like ou could be absorbed.

It occurs far beyond slight fondness or affection

To a point where its ability and validity is questioned

yes, love is grand and it makes you stupid and giddy and romantic and you do all kinds of things without knowing really why.

Why? because you love her.

Where the reality of it becomes more than a mere possible existence

"mere possible existence"?  sound like you are not accepting reality of love

i can see why girlfriend doesn't like it...

Keep your thoughts in your private journal, so she won't get worried. be straight with her, and not all of your feelings are going to be wow

all about how wonderful love is. i like it because you are honest.

Doubted by the fact of the amount of intensity it holds

sounds like you are trying to come up with a mathematical formula for love.

not that easy. its  important to keep tabs on the pos/neg columns, but  go with your gut- love can be measured, but its quantification usually spells the beginning of its dissipation, believeme

Far from the simplicity of love

It is believed unreal considering its effect on the complications to even consider love a simplicity

kudos to you

you are doing great

An entirely new entity greater than any theoretical assumption of the philosophy of love

Greater than the greatest of possible emotions

yeah, when two people love in this way, a greater thing does occur- that is why no one can tell you what you must do. they do not know this entity. just you two know it- you create it.  

Caution about analysis of love.

Too much  trying to figure it out makes it go away.  

Just enjoy it and spend your talent for observation on science, or somethig that is not part of your precious life and soul.

Write about other things

and don't show your stuff to people you don't know or trust because it is human nature to be cruel.

and you don't deserve that.

I love that you are in love.

what the world needs now...burt bacharach

Answer 6

It would go in a collection with a title something like "Jagged Love" because the language is so hard and rough.

It would also go in a collection titled something like "Mensa Veneration" because ignorant people wouldn't understand what you were saying and would want you to translate into baby talk for them.  

Answer 7

I'd have to say that it has a good message so far, BUT.. the words that you have chosen to use aren't exactly the ones to make it sound poetic or like art in any way, No offence but while I was reading it, it reminded me of something I would hear a professor of psychology in a university lecture theatre saying, in other words, keep it simple and sweet, using big words doesn't always get the point across, n'or does it make your poems sound smooth and flowing in any way. So, to sum it up, it's good, but I'd suggest a change of words for the most part, and break it into seperate sections, so it may be easier for the reader to get through and absorb.  

Answer 8

I like it a lot. The poem flows within and around itself. You are trying to describe something which can not and has not been described completely. I really like this line "To a point where its ability and validity is questioned." It truly puts my mind into a thought of, wow love is that mysterious, the closer we get the further away it feels. Do not listen to poetry opinions. Do you love it when you read it? Are you proud of the way you have conveyed your thought and emotion? If you answer yes, it is amazing.  

Answer 9

Thats really good.

i liked it.

Answer 10

not bad.itz better than i can write but not better than a real poet.send me the whole poem to me if u want if u finish it.i would love to read the whole poem

Answer 11

holy shizzapple pie dude! you are a poet!