Tell me jokes funny ones?

Question

must be sutable for kids 8-10

Answer 1

so, two g*y guys are s******g in the shower and then the phone rings,one gets out and answers the phone and then comes back in...theres white stuff all over the walls and then the other guy said,sorry i farted....TELL THAT ONE TO THE KIDS!!!!

Answer 2

which building has the most stories - the library

jesus can walk on water but chuck norris can swim on land

chuck norris counted 2 infinity twice

chuck norris can slam a revolving door

Answer 3

What do penquins use for napkins?

Answer 4

This website is suitable for kids 8-10 because it's a kids joke site: http://kids.yahoo.com/jokes

First answer mine? http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 5

Why is six afraid of seven?..............because seven eight nine ( seven "ate" nine)

How do you make a kleenex dance?.................blow a little boogie in it!

Answer 6

Why did the squirrel cross the road?

Answer: To show his girlfriend he had guts!

Answer 7

http://www.funny-jokes.org.uk/funny-kid-...

Answer 8

you love animals man thats sad  

Answer 9

What is black and white and pink all over?

An embarrassed zebra!   =P

Why Did The Hen Cross The  Road?

To See Why The Chicken Enjoyed It So Much..  :L

Why Did The One Armed Skeleton Cross The Road?

To get to the second hand shop.. =D

HaHa Theres A Pheww

Answer 10

1 - A bat came into his cave with fresh blood all over his face. The other bats begged him to lead them to where he got him meal, so he said: ok follow me, so all of the bats got out of the cave, the bat said: do you all see that tree over there? they all said: YES, he said: I didn't

2 - Three turtles decided to go to a picnic, they walked for 3 days til they reached the desired place. one of them forgot to bring the beverages, so as a punishment they asked him to go back and get it. He said, but you won't eat til I come ok? they said: Ok but hurry up. so the poor turtle started the journey back. after 3 days the turtle didn't come back, but they didn't eat because they didn't want to break the word they gave him, but the guy didn't show up for the fourth day so the two turtles said: ok let's eat just forget about him. suddenly, the absent turtle jumped from some where and said: for that reason I told you I didn't want to go

now if you like it, 10 points please :)

Answer 11

your mom!

:D

Answer 12

There once were to miffins in an oven.

The first muffin said, "gee it sure is hot in here!"

and the other muffin sqealed, "look! a talking muffin!!"

Kinda lame but little kids love it! Its entertaining somewhat!!

Answer 13

How many men does it take do change a light bulb in the kitchen??

None, let the bit*h cook in the dark!!

What do you do when your dishwasher stop working??

Slap the b*tch till she starts again!!

Why do brides wear white??

So the fit in with all the other kitchen appliances!!

Answer 14

A woman walked into a bar carrying a duck under her arm. The local drunk saw this and asked, "Hey, whatcha doin' with that pig?"

"That's not a pig, you stupid fool!" she said coldly. "That's a duck."

The drunk replied. "I was talking to the duck."  

Answer 15

ok when i was 9 i heard thizzzz one:wat ever i say u say so did the fat lady...ok:i went to the carneval (so did the fat lady)i went on a roller coaster (so did the fat lady)i blow up a ballon (so did the fat lady)the balloon poped(so did the fat lady)!!!!!!!!!

get it the ballon popped and so did the fat lady!!! i think it was funny then i was 9!!!

Answer 16

here is a riddle: you throw the outside and cook the inside, then you eat the outside and throw away the inside. what am i?

answer:corn

here is a joke: why is it not safe to tell a secret at a farm?

answer: cuz the corn has ears

hope this helps

Answer 17

What is the longest word in the english dictionary? Smiles. Because between the 2 s's is a mile!

p.s. Animal Lover, are you a vegetarian, vegan, or meat-eater? Because you can't love animals and eat them. Unless you love to eat animals.

Answer 18

Jim and Edna were both patients in a psychiatric hospital. One day while

they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into

the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.

Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim

out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act, she

immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now

considered her to be mentally stable.

When she went to tell Edna, she said, "Edna, I have good news and bad

news. The good news is you're being discharged...since you were able to

rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another

patient, I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness. The bad

news is that Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself in the bathroom with

his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead."

Edna replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?"

<-------------------------------------...

Two blond hunters were dragging their dead deer back to their car. Another hunter approached pulling his along too. "Hey, I don't want to tell you how to do something... but I can tell you that it's much easier if you drag the deer in the other direction. Then the antlers won't dig into the ground."

After the third hunter left, the two decided to try it.

A little while later one hunter said to the other, "You know, that guy was right. This is a lot easier!"

"Yeah," the other added, "but we're getting farther away from the truck...."

<-------------------------------------...

Subject: Don't tease little old ladies

> >

> >

> > Don't Tease Old Ladies

> >

> > Defense Attorney: Will you please state your age?

> >

> > Little Old Lady: I am 86 years old.

> >

> > Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened

> >the night of April 1st?

> >

> > Little Old Lady: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front

> >porch on a warm spring evening,

> >

> > When a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.

> >

> > Defense Attorney: Did you know him?

> >

> > Little Old Lady: No, but he sure was friendly.

> >

> > Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down?

> >

> > Little Old Lady: He started to rub my thigh.

> >

> > Defense Attorney: Did you stop h im?

> >

> > Little Old Lady: No, I didn't stop him.

> >

> > Defense Attorney: Why not?

> >

> > Little Old Lady: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert

> >died some 30 years ago.

> >

> > Defense Attorney: What happened next?

> >

> > Little Old Lady: He began to rub my b*****s.

> >

> > Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then?

> >

> > Little Old Lady: No, I did not stop him.

> >

> > Defense Attorney: Why not?

> >

> > Little Old Lady: His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I

> >haven't felt that good in years!

> >

> > Defense Attorney: What happened next?

> >

> > Little Old Lady: Well, by then, I was feeling so "spicy" that I just

> >lay down and told him "Take me, young man. Take me now!"

> >

> > Defense Attorney: Did he t ake you?

> >

> > Little Old Lady: h**l, no! He just yelled, "April Fool!" And that's

> >when I shot him, the little b*****d.

<-------------------------------------...

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.

While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants s*x, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you.

"

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was g*y, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey.

I love you too!!"

<-------------------------------------...

A high school English teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.

"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being there tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever.

"

A smart *** guy in the back of the room raises his hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from  

Answer 19

"wanna hear a dirty joke?  

a white horse fell in the mud.